cachaco1229 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Hey guys and ladies I need some advice on what to do and what not to do. So here we go. Me and ex girlfriend break up 3 week ago, and she broke up with me, because she said that she felt like we weren't really focusing in school and she was holding me back from school, even though that kinda true but still,also she felt like I wasnt really trying no more, because we used to do new things together and go out and do Adventures things,after that she told me she didn't want to be date or be in an other relationship, or talk to any guys, because I told her I was scared to lose her to an other guy, but at the same time I think she was saying that so she hurt me even me more.so you know after being with her for 3 year, I just got to comfortable, and I know know where i fail but at the sametime I feel like she love me the way I love her we could of fix things, but I know she just got bored and tired of telling the samething. So obviously I still went her back, but then I was doing the 30 day no contact rule, but I missed up. I obviously wonder what she doing so I check on her Facebook and Instagram to see what she up too, and see that she adding guys or guys are adding her, as will guys are following her and she following back, so then I felt like she lied to me about the reason why we broke up. So then I called her and ask her we could talk about couple thing, so maybe I could move on and also for some closure, and she agree, we talk in person and basically I told her i believe that you made big mistake by break up and stupid because we could easily fix what was going on between us, and also she I told her if she want to be single and basically mess around with guys or see other people, you should tolde that in the first place and not lie to me say that you want to focus more in school and work. So she told me that she swear that she not talking or seeing other guys but I still don't believe her, because she a pretty girl and friendly and I know a lot of guy are trying to get to her. She also told that she still want to be friend because I'm important on her life and she doesn't want to lose me. After that I told her that I think we going to be friend soon because I still love her and at the sametime I can't, she said that she going to give me time and space and when I'm ready to talk her again and be friend, just text her or call her and also she said when I ever need anything just call or text, at the end she said that she doesn't want to call or text her a year later. So after that I haven't talk her and that was on Thursday last week 10/23/2014, but the thing her birthday is in November 24, so I don't know what to do, if I should get her a gife or should get or not and shoe I get in contact again before her birthday week or wait till December, and I think she meant be talking to an other guy but the guy smoke weed and she doesn't like guy or smoke in general. What should I do? Thanks you guy
Intuition101 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Sorry that you're going through this. I know how bad loving someone that doesn't love you Back the same way can hurt. Trust me I do. In my opinion, She is trying to let you down easy, per say. I wouldn't chase her Bc I'm a woman and I know That is what she expects you to do. If you honor her request, and make no contact with her She won't Know what to do. It's been proven that women often want what they feel they can't have. Some woman are notorious for this too (I'm not saying all but some) If they have a man that treats them like a queen And loves them, always there for them. Has a man that always forgives and willing to work out problems. She is not content and often uses and abuses That love and commitment Bc she knows she can. The man can't keep her. Now if a woman has a man that treats her like crap. Uses and abuses her. She will never leave. There is just about nothing he could do that would make her leave. Just a thought for you. I would give it time. She made this decision and I would let her live with it. You've already tried to reconcile with her. If she loves you then she will see the mistake she made. Let her realize it tho. If/when she realizes she made a mistake Then that is up to you What you do. Good luck! 1
Author cachaco1229 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 Thanks this help a lot, I'm going to do the NC, but at the same time should I give her a birthday gift, just something sample like. I was planing to get sticker decal of hello kitty bow, because that one of the first gift I give her when we start to go out, so then she got in a addicent and the wieldshield crack so they had to replace it and there was hello kitty now sticker. Do you think I should do it, or don't give nothing at all because maybe that what she is expecting me to give her something. 1
tikay00 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Sorry that you're going through this. I know how bad loving someone that doesn't love you Back the same way can hurt. Trust me I do. In my opinion, She is trying to let you down easy, per say. I wouldn't chase her Bc I'm a woman and I know That is what she expects you to do. If you honor her request, and make no contact with her She won't Know what to do. It's been proven that women often want what they feel they can't have. Some woman are notorious for this too (I'm not saying all but some) If they have a man that treats them like a queen And loves them, always there for them. Has a man that always forgives and willing to work out problems. She is not content and often uses and abuses That love and commitment Bc she knows she can. The man can't keep her. Now if a woman has a man that treats her like crap. Uses and abuses her. She will never leave. There is just about nothing he could do that would make her leave. Just a thought for you. I would give it time. She made this decision and I would let her live with it. You've already tried to reconcile with her. If she loves you then she will see the mistake she made. Let her realize it tho. If/when she realizes she made a mistake Then that is up to you What you do. Good luck! Generalization of the highest order. You have to be a mix of all that. You can't be too much of something, otherwise you're always going to wonder why they left you, and why you're always in short term relationships. Be a strong man, but that shows her you love her, but don't over do it. Plain and simple. OP, don't treat your next girl like she's nothing to you, because you read a post on this site. Just be an emotional rock.
Intuition101 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Generalization of the highest order. You have to be a mix of all that. You can't be too much of something, otherwise you're always going to wonder why they left you, and why you're always in short term relationships. Be a strong man, but that shows her you love her, but don't over do it. Plain and simple. OP, don't treat your next girl like she's nothing to you, because you read a post on this site. Just be an emotional rock.[/ I'm just saying some women are like that, not all. Trust me, I'm not saying to treat her mean and abuse her. Coming from someone who knows how that feels, I would never Give that advice. You're right tikay00, you can't be too much of any of what I said, Find a in between. In my opinion, He really loves her. She knows that he really loves her... Maybe more than she loves him..maybe not.. To me, it sounds like she is abusing the fact that he loves her Thinking she can do anything to him Anything goes... And he will be right there waiting if/when she is done Doing her thing or decides she wants him back. 1
Intuition101 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Thanks this help a lot, I'm going to do the NC, but at the same time should I give her a birthday gift, just something sample like. I was planing to get sticker decal of hello kitty bow, because that one of the first gift I give her when we start to go out, so then she got in a addicent and the wieldshield crack so they had to replace it and there was hello kitty now sticker. Do you think I should do it, or don't give nothing at all because maybe that what she is expecting me to give her something. You're very welcome... I wish you the best of luck.. You seem like a good guy With a lot of love for her.. Honestly, I'd be willing to bet she is expecting You to give her a gift. If I were you, I would continue with the NC, I DEF would not get her a gift. Like I said, this was HER choice Sadly not yours... Let her live with her choice. If/when she realizes she made the wrong choice Then all I can tell you is Follow your heart You never know... Maybe one door is closing for a another door to open. 1
Author cachaco1229 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 Thanks intution101 I will just like to say that your a big help and I hope that you get to help me along with my break up and help me in way to get her back, but if you don't mean I still have couple of question for you, and you seem like a smart girl that know what your talking about, because what I wrote you just knew how much I love her and how she feeling right now about me or us. Like I said her birthday is coming up, and basically we both have mutual friend, we are big group of friend guy and girls, but you could say there my friend because we all grow up together but when I start to dating her, she join the groups, but mostly likely she hang out with the girls than the guys. So mostly likey we probably going to go out to do something for her birthday or maybe not, do you think I should of ignorne her but just say hi and happy birthday and then do my own thing. Also on the day of her birthday I shouldn't text her just saying happy birthday and hope all your wishes come true or wait till I see her in person, if we end up doing something. My other question is the NC, you know I been reading about the NC and people are saying I should just wait till a period of no contact of 30 days, and try to get in contact with her and basically that where in way start to be friend but at the sametime not to the point of buddy buddy, because you know I still want to be with her. So I want your opinion or advice on what to do. Like should I just forgot about the 30 NC and don't contact her at all and give her time if/when she realiZe that she made a mistake. What do you think? 1
Author cachaco1229 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 Thanks intution101 I will just like to say that your a big help and I hope that you get to help me along with my break up and help me in way to get her back, but if you don't mean I still have couple of question for you, and you seem like a smart girl that know what your talking about, because what I wrote you just knew how much I love her and how she feeling right now about me or us. Like I said her birthday is coming up, and basically we both have mutual friend, we are big group of friend guy and girls, but you could say there my friend because we all grow up together but when I start to dating her, she join the groups, but mostly likely she hang out with the girls than the guys. So mostly likey we probably going to go out to do something for her birthday or maybe not, do you think I should of ignorne her but just say hi and happy birthday and then do my own thing. Also on the day of her birthday I shouldn't text her just saying happy birthday and hope all your wishes come true or wait till I see her in person, if we end up doing something. My other question is the NC, you know I been reading about the NC and people are saying I should just wait till a period of no contact of 30 days, and try to get in contact with her and basically that where in way start to be friend but at the sametime not to the point of buddy buddy, because you know I still want to be with her. So I want your opinion or advice on what to do. Like should I just forgot about the 30 NC and don't contact her at all and give her time if/when she realiZe that she made a mistake. What do you think? 1
Author cachaco1229 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 Intenution101 OMG you wouldn't believe what just happen, my ex girlfriend just called me,like right after I post last message I send you but I didn't pick up, but she called from her job and at the time we usually have lunch together, I don't know why she called, do you think if it was something important she would of called me back or text me back, or maybe she wanted to tell me something important, I don't know what to think. You think I did right thing by not picking up?
Intuition101 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 You are very welcome.... I'm glad I can help someone Bc I can't seem to help myself at this point..lol If I was you, Idk if I would go to her party... If you do go.... I wouldn't make any effort to talk to her... If you do want to tell her happy b-day, I will leave that up to you. If you go, fake a smile like you are happy and not missing and upset over her... I would even keep my phone on me And act like I'm texting someone all night, even if you have to fake it.. That will drive her crazy and she might just come to her senses... Who knows.... But she expects you to be there, And she will expect you to be hurt and sad And prob try to reconcile and work things out... She expects you to still be there waiting if/when she changes her mind... If I were you and you do decide to go... I would do the opposite of everything she expects from you... I have seen girls like her my whole life... Not all girls are like her but some are... I am by no means like her... It's the other way around for me and my m... But when my h and I have a argument and I hang up on him.... I'm not going to lie.... I expect him to call me back...lol It's a woman thing, BUT some woman take advantage Of men and use and abuse them.... And try to walk all over the man... And if the man allows it.... Then she will... I think you done the right thing by not answering her phone call.... I'm proud of you! I wouldn't answer her calls... Let her call you a few times... Idk if even then I would answer them... I will leave that up to you... Since yall have the same social group, I would even Act like you're okay to your friends Bc they will run straight and tell her or tell one of the girls in your crew and she def Will run straight and tell her... Good luck, and I will help you all that I can. I think she has took you and your love for granted and is Trying to walk all over you.... Like I said before, a woman will walk all over a man.... If he lets her.... Don't let her.... There is a difference in loving a woman and being good to her And just letting her walk all over you and hurt you over and over again. 2
Author cachaco1229 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 (edited) Hey intuition101 Just wanted to keep you updated,and at the same time I can't really to talk to my friends, because you already know, they will just tell her how am doing, so she text me this morning and I figured out why she called me, she wanted a disney Minnie hat and to see if I had her magic band. We both had a pass for 1 year to go to Disney when ever we wanted to go and we usually try to go once a month. So basically she going with her family this time, and I was just wondering from a girl point of view do you think she going miss me and maybe have good memories about us,and in way maybe that make realize what she missing and losing? I saw her today when drop it off and did what you to pretend that I was texting on the phone with a big smile on my face , I hope that made her wonder, and at the end she told me that she not going to have fun on this trip, I hope she meant that because I wasn't going. Sorry if I bother you so much. I just don't nobody to talk to about us. Thanks Edited November 7, 2014 by cachaco1229
Chi townD Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Dude, let her go. Start NC and start healing from this break up. Start living your life as if she isn't coming back. Because, chances are, she's not. You need to block her on Facebook. That's part of NC. You don't need to see what's going on with her life online and she lost the right to know what's going on in yours.
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