Emerald_11 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I have noticed that a person I know does not tip waitresses very well. It upsets me because they might think we were unhappy with our service even if it was just fine or if we go back to the same place they would remember the lousy tip from last time. I have said something about this to the person but he feels like he is not required to tip any more than a couple dollars. I informed him that a tip should be 10-20 percent of the bill. The last incident the bill was about $60 and he left a $2 tip. I wanted him to leave at least 5 or 6 dollars but he refused. I know many waitresses do not make much per hour and rely on tips. It makes me sort of sad and embarrassed every time I notice this happening. I try to just not think about it but I can't help it because it just bothers me. What are all of your thoughts on this?? Is a $2 tip for a $60 bill ok? I think if I was that waitress I might feel dissed if that happened to me.........
OwMyEyeball Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 What's his cultural background? Some people come from places where tipping is uncommon or even discouraged. 1
Radu Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I have noticed that a person I know does not tip waitresses very well. It upsets me because they might think we were unhappy with our service even if it was just fine or if we go back to the same place they would remember the lousy tip from last time. I have said something about this to the person but he feels like he is not required to tip any more than a couple dollars. I informed him that a tip should be 10-20 percent of the bill. The last incident the bill was about $60 and he left a $2 tip. I wanted him to leave at least 5 or 6 dollars but he refused. I know many waitresses do not make much per hour and rely on tips. It makes me sort of sad and embarrassed every time I notice this happening. I try to just not think about it but I can't help it because it just bothers me. What are all of your thoughts on this?? Is a $2 tip for a $60 bill ok? I think if I was that waitress I might feel dissed if that happened to me......... Of-course you are entitled to say something !!! It reflects bad on you [even if just maybe]; you should have a complete say in how he spends [and with whom] his hard earned cash even if you are not his legal guardian !
Author Emerald_11 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 What's his cultural background? Some people come from places where tipping is uncommon or even discouraged. He does not come from any such culture so that is not the reason.
OwMyEyeball Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Fork up the extra that you think is appropriate or stop having meals with the guy :-/ 7
rester Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I've only regularly gone to restaurants with one such person and he was a coworker. I always added enough to the tip to make it 20% and hoped he felt ashamed of himself. I didn't make a habit of eating with him once I knew he was a bad tipper. $2 on a $60 bill is ridiculous. I would have left another $10 on top of his two and then avoided going to dinner with him in the future. The people I prefer to socialize with don't squabble over a few dollars and generally are within the same economic situation that I'm in, otherwise we do something cheaper. And that's perfectly fine, too. I rarely spend $60 on dinner but when I do I'm prepared to fork over an additional $12 and expect whomever I'm with to do the same.
NJ123 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Always tip 15-20%. Anything less is unacceptable in my opinion. I suppose there's exceptions if the service is completely ****ty, but if it's not than tip 15-20%. 1
90s kid Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 A $2 tip on a $60 bill is not okay. I'll never understand people who are willing to spend a bunch of money on drinks/ a meal but can't give a few extra dollars to the people serving them. If you don't have the money/ aren't willing to tip, then you shouldn't eat out. Why don't you pitch in for the tip?
WrinkledForehead Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 That small of a tip is unacceptable. My partner and I tip generously because we have both been in the food industry (and I currently am). I would speak up, and I would absolutely add money on top of the crappy tip he left. I'd have a hard time continuing to date someone who was a poor tipper.
Els Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 If it concerns you, why don't you pay the tip? It would seem fair, especially if he is paying for the meal. 2
IfWishesWereHorses Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Typically, when we take my MIL on vacation with is, she will insist on paying for a meal. We've always had to find ways to pad the tip. Even going back in and "buying a Togo drink" and adding the tip on there. One year though, she asked my son to make sure she added right or was seeing the numbers right and he shouts out, "Grandma, you have to tip 20%!" Then proceeds to try to explain how stiffing a tip costs them money. She wasn't hearing any of it! Not leaving $40 on a $200 lunch tab! So my husband doubles back and drops two twenties on the table and I'll be darn if she didnt hand them to him after we were down the road! She picked them up! She was infuriated that he was throwing money away! You just can't explain it to some people!
veggirl Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Why don't you pay the tip? Even 10% is too little if the service wasn't horrible. $10 on a tab of $60 would be acceptable.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 This would drive me crazy - I wouldn't in good conscience be able to leave the restaurant without adding to the tip (15% if the service was just okay, 20%+ if it was good to great). While I agree with previous posters that you should have just paid the tip yourself (something I always offer to do when my fiancé generously foots the bill for a meal), I admit that I would find this trait extremely unattractive in a potential partner.
PegNosePete Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 You just can't explain it to some people! Try being a Brit, explaining to an American the problems with the whole tip culture, and why it's totally crazy, then!!! You will learn the meaning of frustration. Some AI resorts I've been to, don't allow tipping for various reasons. You should see the extreme measures some guests go to tip the staff. Tipping is so ingrained into their psyches that they just can't not do it, even when the staff could lose their jobs for accepting tips. 1
hotgurl Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Typically, when we take my MIL on vacation with is, she will insist on paying for a meal. We've always had to find ways to pad the tip. Even going back in and "buying a Togo drink" and adding the tip on there. One year though, she asked my son to make sure she added right or was seeing the numbers right and he shouts out, "Grandma, you have to tip 20%!" Then proceeds to try to explain how stiffing a tip costs them money. She wasn't hearing any of it! Not leaving $40 on a $200 lunch tab! So my husband doubles back and drops two twenties on the table and I'll be darn if she didnt hand them to him after we were down the road! She picked them up! She was infuriated that he was throwing money away! You just can't explain it to some people! My Grandma is like this and she gets mad when we add extra. so we always stealth do it.
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 My husband was a lousy tipper when I first met him. His excuse was he never really went out much. I showed him by example & taught him how to quickly calculate a tip. My father used to get really crazy & finally called him out on his bad tipping one night. Since he learned to tip, DH has been thrilled by the fact that servers remember him & he gets much better service where ever he goes. $2 on a $60 check is ghastly. I would be appalled & would have handed the server $10 in full view of my companion so he understood what he did was wrong.
Citizen Erased Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 What's his cultural background? Some people come from places where tipping is uncommon or even discouraged. Sorry but that's no excuse. I'm from a country that doesn't tip, but we also pay our service industry a decent wage. And the service you get is nowhere near as good as the U.S. Since I moved here, I pretty much always tip 20%, unless it's truly been terrible. Even then I sometimes do because it is not always the fault of your waiter. They get paid peanuts, they for the most part bust their arse to serve you, it doesn't hurt to give them something for it. 2
PegNosePete Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Even then I sometimes do because it is not always the fault of your waiter. Yes, I find it annoying when people withhold tips because the food was wrong, cold or slow, because the decor is not nice, because there was a screaming baby, because it rained on the way or because their partner started an argument over dinner. Tips are for the service. If the service was good, tip. If the food was bad, tell someone or make a complaint but don't take it out on the server. 3
normal person Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 What's his cultural background? Some people come from places where tipping is uncommon or even discouraged. When you enter into a foreign country/culture the onus is on you to adapt to that culture's codes and mores. Imagine someone from the US going to England and insisting that he still drive on the right side of the road (while everyone there drives on the left). I don't think the guy is pleading ignorance. If you live in America it's common knowledge that you leave 15-20%. He sounds like a cheapskate and should be embarrassed to leave a 3% tip. If he can't afford to leave the customary amount, he shouldn't be eating at a restaurant to begin with. Don't eat with him again.
GravityMan Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 He does not come from any such culture so that is not the reason. You may want to reevaluate whether you want to continue seeing this guy. Unless he's still fairly young (under 25 yo or so), it's unlikely he'll change his tipping habits, no matter what you say or do. Generally speaking...many people who are bad tippers are also stingy and/or inconsiderate in other areas of their lives. It is ultimately a character flaw. Many of them tend to be the type that aren't generous in giving gifts. Or the type that never ever brings cookies, breakfast tacos, popcorn, etc. to the workplace to share with coworkers. They are selfish cheapskates, and that is usually a relationship red flag. If you're not a fan of tipping culture, that's fine, but that doesn't make it okay to not tip or only tip $2 out of $60. To think otherwise is naivete. If enough people were that stingy then it would be hard for waitstaff to make a living providing you (hopefully quality) service. It's not their fault that tipping exists. And it's not their fault when the food turns out cold or bland or whatever. You can tell a lot about a person based on his tipping habits. 1
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