I loathe her

[lostsoul6486]

I just got home from my university where I saw my ex. We apparently both got into the same honor society and we were being recognized today. I had no idea she would be there since I have blocked her on all social media. It really sucked. I had a knot in my stomach and I was uncomfortable throughout the time I was there. I completely ignored her. To my surprise, she didn't try to say hello which is good since she usually does even if she could tell I don't like it. Seeing her hurt so much but it's so different to what it used to be. Now when I see her I just feel pain because most of our relationship seems so fake. It's not the same way I used to feel when I wanted her back. I see her in a completely new light and I could honestly say that I loathe her. I know she thinks I'm just hurt because I don't have her and that bothers the hell out of me. She doesn't know that I know how horrible she truly was to me behind my back with her cheating. I've taken some of you loveshacker's advice and written long letters that I never sent and they helped a lot, but when I saw her today I just wanted to go up to her and unload. I left as soon as the event was over and I didn't say good bye to anyone. Not even a close friend of mine who was also there. I literally left out the back door at my first opportunity. I really wanted to play the whole, "I don't care anymore," card and just casually say hi to her, but I couldn't. I hate her so much and there is nothing more that I want to do right now than tell her that I know everything. I know it won't do me any good to contact her so I'm not going to do it, but good God am I tempted to.

[lostsoul6486]

Wow. What a horrible morning.

[d0nnivain]

Anger is a more productive emotion than sorrow. As much as it sucks right now, it is a sign that you are healing.

 

Congrats on your induction into the honor society.