What is your feelings on ghosting( disappearing on someone who you are talking to)

[DBryYES]

Sometimes when you are talking to someone or are dating someone, they realize that they no longer have any interest in you. Instead of telling you, they start ignoring you all together. Normally you don't see it coming, but you are shocked, confused, and sometimes hurt. You ask yourself what you did to deserve that and try and go over scenarios in your head wondering what happened and what you did wrong. That is what bothers me the most: thinking about questions that you will never have the answer to and never wondering why.

 

Have you ever been ghosted and how did it make you feel?

[callingyouuu]

You ask yourself what you did to deserve that and try and go over scenarios in your head wondering what happened and what you did wrong.

 

This is pretty accurate. Story of my life.

[sagetalk]

Most anyone who has ever dated has this happen to them. Be glad it happened early rather than later. It means the person lost interest but does not want to start a confrontation by telling you. You might start demanding answers to "Why?" questions and it gets really awkward.

[DBryYES]

Most anyone who has ever dated has this happen to them. Be glad it happened early rather than later. It means the person lost interest but does not want to start a confrontation by telling you. You might start demanding answers to "Why?" questions and it gets really awkward.

 

I understand that it will get awkward wanting to know why, but to the other person out in the cold wondering why, it's still a kick in the kick between the legs.

[sagetalk]

I understand that it will get awkward wanting to know why, but to the other person out in the cold wondering why, it's still a kick in the kick between the legs.

 

It's a kick down there regardless. Do you think it would hurt less if they told you it was because you aren't as good looking as the person they are dumping you for? Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

[heartshaped]

Sometimes when you are talking to someone or are dating someone, they realize that they no longer have any interest in you. Instead of telling you, they start ignoring you all together. Normally you don't see it coming, but you are shocked, confused, and sometimes hurt. You ask yourself what you did to deserve that and try and go over scenarios in your head wondering what happened and what you did wrong. That is what bothers me the most: thinking about questions that you will never have the answer to and never wondering why.

 

Have you ever been ghosted and how did it make you feel?

 

Eh, it happens. I think the thing to do is just not get hung up on it. The person is just not into you for whatever reason. See it as their lost and move on.

 

I personally don't handle things like this, but it has happened to me in the past and it's really no big deal. I just see it as the person has lost interest and move on.

[DBryYES]

It's a kick down there regardless. Do you think it would hurt less if they told you it was because you aren't as good looking as the person they are dumping you for? Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

 

At least I would know instead of kicking myself over and over wondering why. I can finally move on. That's just me. I am the type of person who wants closure.

[Omei]

Honestly when im ghosted I just quickly not care I don't wonder what I did wrong or what about me they don't like its just whatever.

 

I feel that any ghosting that happens its usually very early since meeting them and if they vanish its hard to feel anything about it because im just not invested yet. I think ppl that get hurt set up expectations of who that person is too quickly.

[Thegreatestthing]

I'm doing this to someone at the moment and I'm pretty crazy about him it's more I have a bf I want to stay with,and I can't see us working out long term,you don't know what they're thinking.

 

the one who throws The stone forgets,the one who is hit remembers forever,in other words it's not bothering me ,I can't feel any distress I'm causing it's only the one who is hit/forgotten about that is suffering.

 

You get over it,there was a guy who stopped replying to me after loving me for months I was upset but I moved on to someone else and never think of him.just move on lots of interesting people in the world

[mammasita]

It's happened to me and yes I've done it in the past. Its an immature move, I'll give you that much. I wouldn't do it at this point in my life, but wouldn't put it past anyone at anytime. Any substantial relationship would absolutely not be off the hook that easy, but a few dates...let it go.

 

It happens, it will happen no matter what you or I think about it.....take it with a grain of salt and move on.

[OwMyEyeball]

I've been ghosted a few times and never really felt all that bothered by it.

 

We'd get a bit of a rapport going then all of a sudden

[Jules Dash]

It's really is something that comes with the territory of dating such as cheating and cancellations. We all know it really is crappy to deal with it but this stuff is just a part of the whole scene. I just take it in stride. You date enough and you will be cheated on, ghosted, cancelled on and stood up.

[ScienceGal]

I have never heard of the phrase, but I know what you're talking about. Immature and inconsiderate.

 

I tried online dating briefly, once. Anyone who I had exchanged dialogue back and forth with got a message informing them that I did not see compatibility and wishing them the best in their search.

 

I thought it was odd how many men thanked me for being honest. Now, I know about "ghosting". Sigh. Fear not, not everyone is that shallow

[MissBee]

Honestly when im ghosted I just quickly not care I don't wonder what I did wrong or what about me they don't like its just whatever.

 

I feel that any ghosting that happens its usually very early since meeting them and if they vanish its hard to feel anything about it because im just not invested yet. I think ppl that get hurt set up expectations of who that person is too quickly.

 

I feel similarly.

 

If we've been dating for a while or are in a relationship then just disappearing would drive me nuts.

 

But when ghosting has happened to me it's been only after one or two dates or so and if they disappear I'm not as yet that invested and just assume they don't like me for whatever reason and don't bother to fret over why. I expect a boyfriend or a man I've been seeing consistently for a while to not disappear and explain things but I guess I don't really hold men I barely know to the same standard.

[writergal]

When you get to your 40s, the last thing you expect to have happen to you in dating is to be ghosted on. That's happened to me a few times with OLD guys who were in their late 30s early 40s and I think that's so uncouth to do at that age. I mean, grow up and just give me a polite rejection instead of going silent without any explanation. Don't people have manners anymore in dating? So rude. I have never ghosted any guys I've decided weren't a good fit for me. I always tell the truth, "I like you but I'm sorry I'm just not interested."

[Atticus9292012]

It has happened to me and it's actually happened with someone I was sleeping with.... even worse. I have done it before too. Wouldn't do it again. Its pretty cowardly to just up and ignore someone. Since Ive been on both sides I always tell someone if I am no longer interested, I think we're incompatible or that I met ssomeone else. I just feellike honesty and up front is best. Now I did have a guy text me almost nonstop for two days demanding answers after I told him we were incompatible and he needed to pursue others. I eventually stopped responding. We went on one date and texted.... I didn't owe him more than that.

[Tayken]

When you get to your 40s, the last thing you expect to have happen to you in dating is to be ghosted on. That's happened to me a few times with OLD guys who were in their late 30s early 40s and I think that's so uncouth to do at that age. I mean, grow up and just give me a polite rejection instead of going silent without any explanation. Don't people have manners anymore in dating? So rude. I have never ghosted any guys I've decided weren't a good fit for me. I always tell the truth, "I like you but I'm sorry I'm just not interested."

 

On the flip side, women are very good at this too when it comes to OLD. The message is usually clear though, either a better offer came up, or there was something in the profile that raised a flag.

[Omei]

this topic has come up so many times esp regarding online dating.

 

Each person is so different its a no win situation some people prefer an explanation to their rejection some dont wanna hear it at all and unfortunately you just never gonna know how that person would of prefered it.

 

you just cant win

[DBryYES]

It has happened to me and it's actually happened with someone I was sleeping with.... even worse. I have done it before too. Wouldn't do it again. Its pretty cowardly to just up and ignore someone. Since Ive been on both sides I always tell someone if I am no longer interested, I think we're incompatible or that I met ssomeone else. I just feellike honesty and up front is best. Now I did have a guy text me almost nonstop for two days demanding answers after I told him we were incompatible and he needed to pursue others. I eventually stopped responding. We went on one date and texted.... I didn't owe him more than that.

 

Well at least you gave him a reason. He will get it through his head eventually. I've had people just disappear on me out of the blue just when I thought I had something going.

[aussietigerwolf]

Its worse if its your boyfriend... You don't know if they are in the hospital or if it was their way of dumping you until they pop up online and ignore your message.

[787Dreamliner]

If the person gets too persistent even though you tried inserting some sense into him and he doesn't get it, this could be the best way out.

 

I would say depends on the situation.

[IronZ]

Yup some people here may remember my first post on this site a few weeks back was regarding exactly this issue. She ghosted on me and I didn't understand it, mainly because there was no sign or reason as to anything going wrong. It just came out of nowhere.

 

In my opinion it's a horrible thing to do to someone, to get their hopes up and then just drop them without a line. At the very least tell them you don't intend to progress any further.

[Snaggletooth]

When you get to your 40s, the last thing you expect to have happen to you in dating is to be ghosted on. That's happened to me a few times with OLD guys who were in their late 30s early 40s and I think that's so uncouth to do at that age. I mean, grow up and just give me a polite rejection instead of going silent without any explanation. Don't people have manners anymore in dating? So rude. I have never ghosted any guys I've decided weren't a good fit for me. I always tell the truth, "I like you but I'm sorry I'm just not interested."

 

Also in my forties and this behavior seems to be increasingly common in all walks of life. I'm often involved in various projects and community groups and the amount of people who just disappear is stunning. Not just other volunteers and members but people in positions of responsibility or those you are working towards helping. Initially it leaves you wondering if anything has happened to them. Someone will send a message to see if they are ok, or maybe go round their house to check on them and nothing, not a dickie bird. Then you see them online or in the street ad realise they are ok and so stop worrying and realise they are just rude, cowardly and inconsiderate.

 

I don't get it, not in dating, business, any form of live. As a kid I would have got a clip round the ear for acting in such a way, now it seems to have become acceptable behavior. It's become such a selfish and throwaway society that people seem to have forgotten they are dealing with people.

[DBryYES]

Yup some people here may remember my first post on this site a few weeks back was regarding exactly this issue. She ghosted on me and I didn't understand it, mainly because there was no sign or reason as to anything going wrong. It just came out of nowhere.

 

In my opinion it's a horrible thing to do to someone, to get their hopes up and then just drop them without a line. At the very least tell them you don't intend to progress any further.

 

I read your thread. This was very similar to what happened to me. I met a chick online and she said yes to my date. But everyday, she made an excuse not to why she could not go out with me.one night she did not even text back, so I took that as a sign she was not interested. The next day she calls telling me I am sorry and blah blah. We agree to try and get dinner that night. But she postpones a third time for the next day. Next day comes, I text and call. No reply and she never messaged back.

 

It sucks getting my hopes up for something that was clearly not going to happen. If she was not interested, she should have just said no in the first place instead of putting me on this roller coaster ride.

[Emilia]

It's never happened to me but I sometimes wonder whether it's just me not noticing it.