Desperate

[kyta6666]

Hi please please help me. My ex (34) and I (45) were together for almost 10 years, he moved in with me and my 2 kids from my previous marriage 9 years ago. His 2 kids moved in with us 3 years ago. Life at home was hard as my ex did not get along with my eldest who has mental health problems and living with 4 teenagers is difficult. We broke up at the beginning of Sept after a bad patch, he moved out with his kids and during the following 4 weeks we talked and cried lots.

He seemed determined not to get back together, he told my family member he cared and loved me but not in love with me. We had amazing times together, went away for many weekends with other couples and on our own at spa hotels etc, had lovely memories. When we split he told me he always felt bottom of my list. He is a very needy person and I found that difficult at times.

At the beginning of Oct we went on holiday (booked before the split). On the 2nd day we had sex, on the third he told me he was seeing someone else, well talking to her etc. He insisted he wasn’t looking for anyone else and they had not slept together at that point. I went through his phone the following night to discover they had been seeing each other for 6 weeks and not 3 as he told me. I confronted him and he was devastated and said he was afraid of hurting me, but he has feelings for her and she is giving him the attention he craves. After lots of crying from both of us

I said lets get through the holiday and go from there. The other couples we were with thought we were on honeymoon, we were very close and did lots of firsts and he said his head was all over the place. We came home and he picked her. She is completely different to me, and don’t seem to be his type at all.

My stepdaughter told me he constantly using her ipad to check my facebook and her phone for any messages from me, and if I take her out he questions what we talked about etc. He is constantly asking my family members to stay talking to him and says he is missing them all of the time.

He seems to be telling anyone who will listen that he is happy but that just seems desperate to me. Is this new relationship a rebound?

I am doing nc on day 5. It’s a little difficult to be totally nc as I am like a mother to his 2 children. Also I had a major problem with my boiler this week and had to contact him, I was really upset over the fact I had to contact him, he was lovely on the phone. He texted me the next day to say sorry that I was so upset, I asked why he felt sorry when he had moved on, he said cos if he hadn’t moved on I would not be in this situation, I responded with ‘very true’.

I am heartbroken, thanks so much for reading.

Thanks in advance for any help.

[irresolute]

Im sorry for your pain.

 

Move on. He doesnt love you and youre only hurting yourself asking (or let them talk to you) about him.

 

Move on. And call someone else for your boiler. Theres no need to bother him. You only contacted him because youre desperate and you want to have at least a piece of him. Pretty sad.