tikay00 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 1st day of REAL NC for me (I don't mean not calling or texting. I mean, not checking their social media), and thought I'd start a thread for people that were tempted to check their exes social media for any type of sign that they're missing them, or to see what they've been up to. I find that not calling them or texting them is the easy part. It's once you hit the 6th or 7th day mark of NC, where you panic, and think your ex is moved on, and found the man or women of their dreams. Do not let your mind trick you into thinking this. Even if it's true, don't think these thoughts, because then you're going to check their stuff to confirm it for yourself. This thread is dedicated to the folks that are tempted to click, and to vent in here, instead of going back to square 1, or like me, seeing something they liked on FB, and then taking that as a sign, and texting them like an idiot. Don't be like me. Don't break NC, because you've been stalking their social media. I think the reason why not calling or texting is the easy part is because we have that fear that they won't answer, or reply back, and the uncertainty. It's the fear of the unknown. We check their social media to kind of get a peek into what they're feeling or thinking, then if we get even a little hint of sadness or maybe bread crumbs from theM, that's when the uncertainy is not as uncertain in our minds, so we reach out, and hope that they'll answer, because they miss us so much. DON'T DO IT. And also, it's so hard to track threads that you've posted in, because after a while they all sort of blend in, and you forget which thread you posted in to vent. 3
annisk Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 YES. This is precisely what I need! It's hard because we didn't leave on bad terms, so we've not deleted each other off social media. I've blocked him off my Facebook newsfeed though. But I did a VERY bad thing today by clicking on his Instagram after WEEEEKS of not doing so! Also, I've decided not to delete/unfollow him on social media in terms of how things may pan out in the long run. When I get over him, for example. It would be mega awkward to add/follow him back. STAY STRONG!
birdy1105 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I think the reason why not calling or texting is the easy part is because we have that fear that they won't answer, or reply back, and the uncertainty. It's the fear of the unknown. We check their social media to kind of get a peek into what they're feeling or thinking, then if we get even a little hint of sadness or maybe bread crumbs from theM, that's when the uncertainy is not as uncertain in our minds, so we reach out, and hope that they'll answer, because they miss us so much. DON'T DO IT. YES. I was just posting about this! This thread is absolutely necessary. I'm unfortunate to have an ex that vents all his issues on social media, and though I've blocked him on Facebook I'm still finding trouble NOT cyberstalking on Twitter esp. since you can block his updates but not really be prevented from checking his feed directly. Every time I check it feels like picking at a fresh scab. Because he'll say he really misses me at one point then he'll reaffirm himself about making the right decision. I feel like it's last bad habit I have to break to move forward.
Author tikay00 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 YES. This is precisely what I need! It's hard because we didn't leave on bad terms, so we've not deleted each other off social media. I've blocked him off my Facebook newsfeed though. But I did a VERY bad thing today by clicking on his Instagram after WEEEEKS of not doing so! Also, I've decided not to delete/unfollow him on social media in terms of how things may pan out in the long run. When I get over him, for example. It would be mega awkward to add/follow him back. STAY STRONG! The reason why social media is so evil is because if they don't post anything that's about you, you ask yourself, "are they over me, and happy with their new SO?" If they do post something about you, you ask, "is that my cue to contact them? Maybe they're scared I'm mad and will ignore. I should contact, and see if this first step to reconciliation." If it's something negative, then you say, "OMG, they hate me! I'll never hear from the person I loved again! I'd settle to just be friends with them, as long as they don't leave my life completely!" It's such a bad road to go down. NEVER check their social media. It's like you're staring directly at them, and there's no acknowledgement back. It just over exaggerates every scenario in your mind, and is nothing but pure torture.
Author tikay00 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 YES. I was just posting about this! This thread is absolutely necessary. I'm unfortunate to have an ex that vents all his issues on social media, and though I've blocked him on Facebook I'm still finding trouble NOT cyberstalking on Twitter esp. since you can block his updates but not really be prevented from checking his feed directly. Every time I check it feels like picking at a fresh scab. Because he'll say he really misses me at one point then he'll reaffirm himself about making the right decision. I feel like it's last bad habit I have to break to move forward. Oh yeah, it's the HARDEST habit for me to break. It's even worse when you check what pics she liked on FB, and they're all relationship memes. Ex. "I loved you with all my heart. You were a chain smoker, and I was another pack of cigarettes." I sit there like, "NOOOOOO, you weren't!!! I love you with all my heart, but I just took you for granted!!!" In my head: "I should call her, and let her know I never thought of her that way." Uggghhhhh.......social media is the birds.... Mind you, I'm not friends with her on FB. I just know how to check her liked photos. That's what made me break NC last night. NO MORE!!!
birdy1105 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Ex. "I loved you with all my heart. You were a chain smoker, and I was another pack of cigarettes." I sit there like, "NOOOOOO, you weren't!!! I love you with all my heart, but I just took you for granted!!!" Are you the dumper or dumpee, tikay? I'm actually more incensed by the fact that our exes would drag aaaaalllll their feelings about the breakup on social media for everyone to see. Like they get a kick out of parading the corpse of our dead relationship out there!!! There should be another thread for really really bad post-BU social media behavior LOL
Mi7522 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Block them from everything! NC is to rid yourself of everything that reminds you of anything about them so you can heal
Author tikay00 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Are you the dumper or dumpee, tikay? I'm actually more incensed by the fact that our exes would drag aaaaalllll their feelings about the breakup on social media for everyone to see. Like they get a kick out of parading the corpse of our dead relationship out there!!! There should be another thread for really really bad post-BU social media behavior LOL Dumpee. Oh no, she doesn't post those things, it's just photos she clicked "like" on. That makes it even more intimate, and real. Since it's so private, it shows her true feelings.
Author tikay00 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Block them from everything! NC is to rid yourself of everything that reminds you of anything about them so you can heal There are ALWAYS ways around things if you want to peek THAT bad, and there are ALWAYS people that delete their exes number, but keeps it in a safe hiding spot for "emergency" reasons. If you feel the need to take a peek, VENT IN HERE! I don't even care if no one posts in here. I'm probably going to vent in here every day til I don't have the urge anymore lol.
OK_computer Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 There are ALWAYS ways around things if you want to peek THAT bad, and there are ALWAYS people that delete their exes number, but keeps it in a safe hiding spot for "emergency" reasons. If you feel the need to take a peek, VENT IN HERE! I don't even care if no one posts in here. I'm probably going to vent in here every day til I don't have the urge anymore lol. I memorized it. I'm unable to forget it though I deleted her number. NOTE TO SELF: Never memorize a future gf's number. 1
Author tikay00 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Random quote that just helped me right now. I was reading the quote, but also thinking about my exes FB message saying, "I don't want a relationship anymore." "If it was meant to last, it would have." I pictured her FB profile pic, and her message, and connected it with this quote, and something positive hit me so hard. Brief moment of ecstacy.
Author tikay00 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Strong urge right now. Going to write it down, and thank God my buddies coming over to hang out for a few.
tory1012 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Yes I unfortunately unblocked him on facebook and checked his profile! His profile didn't give me much it was another girls profile which had a picture of both of them together which hurt! Once that 48 hours is up I will be blocking him!!! Already blocked her ... I really don't to see it.
Author tikay00 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Yes I unfortunately unblocked him on facebook and checked his profile! His profile didn't give me much it was another girls profile which had a picture of both of them together which hurt! Once that 48 hours is up I will be blocking him!!! Already blocked her ... I really don't to see it. You're a masochist.
birdy1105 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Random quote that just helped me right now. I was reading the quote, but also thinking about my exes FB message saying, "I don't want a relationship anymore." "If it was meant to last, it would have." I pictured her FB profile pic, and her message, and connected it with this quote, and something positive hit me so hard. Brief moment of ecstacy. STOP OMG just stop!!! I'm on 2nd day total NC and feeling better all the time! Don't give up!!!
Author tikay00 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 STOP OMG just stop!!! I'm on 2nd day total NC and feeling better all the time! Don't give up!!! I didn't check her FB page. I deleted it before my first day of real NC, and read through our messages when she finally broke up with me.
Strength in Healing Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 All social media, as I've stated before, is a cancer. It needs to be dipped in sulfuric acid, then brought out, then what's left of it set aflame, then grinded up in a blender and poured into dirty sewage, where it always belonged. 3
Author tikay00 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 Relapsed, and checked some of her stuff. Nothing new or exciting, but yeah, I'm not going to lie. It kind of felt good in a way, because it gave me clarity, but still, it was stupid. Someone slap some sense into me! Exes social media is like crack cocaine!
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