Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Just curious... So my BF is divorced.. he was married to his High School GF, they have 2 little people together. I've never met her in person, but I've seen photos of her.. she and I look nothing alike. Anyway... this weekend my BF and I were going to one of his boys house parties I've met this friend of his before.. so my BF was telling me that he had met his friends GF the other day.. I asked him what he thought of her. He said that he was suprised that she was pretty and seemed very nice.. then he added that his friends GF is prettier than his friends EXW... from what he had told me about his boys EXW though.. it didn't seem that it would've been to difficult for his friend to have found something better... uh yeah... LOL THEN my BF said "Well, I mean it's always cool when you get better than you had... You're better looking that my EXW is." Yay LOL I don't know.. it just made me feel good.. So this got me thinking... My EXH is with a girl now that again looks nothing like me and she is very passive so not like me in personality either... which is probably why this is working for them LOL! Although I don't care who he is with (My EXH) I have to admitt that it did make me very happy that this girl he is with now isn't all that pretty.. terrible of me uh? Well my BF now says he isn't curious about what my EXH looks like... BUT LOL he has seen photos of him... one night my EXH was droppin off my little people about the same time my BF was getting to my house... and it was interesting to see how my EXH was standing around a lil when he knew my BF was walking up to my door and how my BF was looking in his (my EXH) direction... My BF asked me why he was there hangin around and I told him I think he was just curious to know what he (my BF) looks like... my BF said he wasn't curious (again) at all what my EXH looks like... BUT lol the other night when he told me I was better looking than his EXW, I told him he was also better looking than my EXH (and again they look nothing alike total opposites) he said to me "Really?!" LOL he seemed very happy with that. So curious now... anyone else get curious to know what thier SO's EX looks like? Get happy when you see your EX out and they are with someone you look at and think For real? LOL is it just me?
tanbark813 Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 I believe it's pretty standard across the board for people to be pleased when they're better-looking--or better in other ways--than their new SO's ex.
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 I believe it's pretty standard across the board for people to be pleased when they're better-looking--or better in other ways--than their new SO's ex. Better in *other ways* uh? LMAO Who's ya daddy!? Yeah I agree Tan.. but are you curious about what your SO's EX looks like?
tanbark813 Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Better in *other ways* uh? LMAO Who's ya daddy!? Originally posted by Merin Yeah I agree Tan.. but are you curious about what your SO's EX looks like? Of course. I was the polar opposite of my last ex's bf though. He was a black guy living in Davis working as a radio DJ for the school, was a liberal, and had no driver's license. I'm a white boy living in the Bay Area working as a software engineer, am a conservative, and do have a driver's license. She was actually so excited to be with a guy with a job and a car for once. That made it pretty easy to score points.
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Of course. I was the polar opposite of my last ex's bf though. He was a black guy living in Davis working as a radio DJ for the school, was a liberal, and had no driver's license. I'm a white boy living in the Bay Area working as a software engineer, am a conservative, and do have a driver's license. She was actually so excited to be with a guy with a job and a car for once. That made it pretty easy to score points. LMAO! Oh sh*t that made me laugh! Sad uh? LOL I think when I met my now BF I was so freakin excited that he wasn't a physco like my EXBF is that it just made it seem that much more appealing! Remember the book I bought because of my EXBF Tan? Uh yeah.. LOL So do you go for a completely different sort of person now when you're looking than what you were with before? This could be a different topic I guess... Do you think people tend to go for the same thing over and over again... or say hell nah and look for the opposite?
SummerRae Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 I'd say it all happens unconciously... I mean, when I broke up with my ex I wasn't like I can't date a tall, blond again, or I have to find a better lookin' man (though to be honest that wouldn't be hard to do, hehe). He wasn't the best looking, but yep, he had his other ways. The other night, I met a v. fine and sexy man. Better than I've ever had, actually. But it definitely wasn't something I sought out to do......... just so happened that we were mutually attracted to one another. I think it depends on a lot of things. Luck plays into it... U know what I mean?
tanbark813 Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Remember the book I bought because of my EXBF Tan? Uh yeah.. LOL Oh yes. You're not the only one to have purchased a book in the vain hope of fixing the relationship. Originally posted by Merin So do you go for a completely different sort of person now when you're looking than what you were with before? This could be a different topic I guess... Do you think people tend to go for the same thing over and over again... or say hell nah and look for the opposite? I don't think I consciously go for the same or different. I generally evaluate attraction on a case-by-case basis. The girls I've dated have varied quite a bit in terms of style, looks, and personality. Though several of them do seem to have one characteristic in common but that sort of thing you don't discover until later.
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 LOL Damn, got to hate it when you find a undiscovered quality you weren't so much looking for.. in fact were kind of hoping wasn't there! Crap! It's funny because.. I'm typically attracted to a certain physical appearance... but my EXH was blonde/hazel eyes/6 ft and he was only the second guy I had dated (little lone married) who was blonde.. lol My EXBF after my divorce was spanish... black hair/brown eyes/5'6 Total opposite of my EXH... My currant BF also has black hair/brown eyes/ but he's 6'3 and Half Indian... again.. very different.. LOL Turns out I'm one of the only girls he's dated that isn't blonde his EXW is blonde.. My EXH used to date bigger girls before he met me, and his currant GF now is a bigger girl... My EXBF's dated bigger girls before me as well... So I don't know if it was a conscious effort kind of deal or not... SummerRae.. LOL I just read your thread on meeting some new guys... hmm... they both sound pretty good;)
blind_otter Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 My exH was REALLY pissed about me dating psycho restraining order ex-BF. Yes, the guy I dated after I split up with my exH was super hot, physically, but he was a total a-hole with no job, no car, who lived with his mummy. My exH was always like, jesus christ, woman, respect yourself! He hated Mr. T, the wayward cokehead friend I had, as well -- again, he felt that Mr. T didn't respect me. exH definately wasn't the hottest dude out there, but he was (a) GREAT in bed and (b) always respectful of me, never hit me or smacked me around, well, he was a preacher's son.... So I've had to opposite experience, where I had a new BF that was "deficient" as TB says, and my exH was PISSED that I was dating someone who was obviously less worthy of me than he was....
Mz. Pixie Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Oh yeah, this is good stuff. I was helping BF clean out some drawers one day and he showed me a picture of his last g/f before me. I thought by looking at her picture that I was way cuter than her but when I met her in person I'm not so sure. She may be more attractive than I am although I would never tell him that. He also showed me a picture at that time of his Xwife. She's cute. I saw their engagement picture later and she was more attractive in it than after she had their child. IMO I'm alot more attractive than her- even though she's about five years younger than me. Xh was attractive, especially before he gained so much weight. I guess I'd have to say that BF is more attractive although neither of them would be picked out in a room as "hot". XH was more of a outdoors type- dark skinned, dark hair, blue eyes. BF is more fair, taller, into sports more than say fishing. He still has dark hair but he has brown eyes. I will get a kick out of it, however, if XH's new mate (when he gets one) is less attractive than me. I've had lots of men tell me though that XH should have been falling down on the ground worshipping me because I was that much more attractive than he was. I don't feel that way but that's what male friends have said.
SummerRae Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Merin SummerRae.. LOL I just read your thread on meeting some new guys... hmm... they both sound pretty good;) Yep, I lucked out...... BUT, I'm not going into anything **this time** with blinders on. The beginnings are usually pretty good, so it's hard not to romanticize things when everyone is on their best behaviours......... BUT...... I'm hoping one is a good man, since we all know those are hard to find!
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter My exH was REALLY pissed about me dating psycho restraining order ex-BF. Yes, the guy I dated after I split up with my exH was super hot, physically, but he was a total a-hole with no job, no car, who lived with his mummy. My exH was always like, jesus christ, woman, respect yourself! He hated Mr. T, the wayward cokehead friend I had, as well -- again, he felt that Mr. T didn't respect me. exH definately wasn't the hottest dude out there, but he was (a) GREAT in bed and (b) always respectful of me, never hit me or smacked me around, well, he was a preacher's son.... So I've had to opposite experience, where I had a new BF that was "deficient" as TB says, and my exH was PISSED that I was dating someone who was obviously less worthy of me than he was.... Funny how sometimes the EX's think they have a say in who you date though uh? LOL My EXH never says anything to me... but he will say things to our kids about who ever I'm dating.
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie Oh yeah, this is good stuff. I was helping BF clean out some drawers one day and he showed me a picture of his last g/f before me. I thought by looking at her picture that I was way cuter than her but when I met her in person I'm not so sure. She may be more attractive than I am although I would never tell him that. He also showed me a picture at that time of his Xwife. She's cute. I saw their engagement picture later and she was more attractive in it than after she had their child. XH was attractive but I'd have to say BF is more so- in a different way and because he has dated a couple of models. I'm not sure that has much to do with it, however, because I think he got these women as a result of how he treated them, not because of how he looked. Thats the deal... I married my now EXH because of how he treated me (at the time) he was cute.. but yeah not like OOOMMGGGG LOL ya know? My EXBF... wasn't like (again) Sweet Mother of ..... look at that! LOL but there was something about him that was so damn appealing... My Now BF.. he doesn't take compliments well... he always says he's ugly (WTF?! No way!) he's nice looking (I think) The way he is with me.. treats me good is why I'm really there... well and ya know he's great in bed!
Mz. Pixie Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Well, that's the deal, BF is not the most attractive guy I've ever dated but he's not the worst looking either. The thing is that we have incredible chemistry. I have only ever had this once and it was with my first love. We just click on so many different levels. He is the biggest communicator I've ever met and all about talking about the relationship. When we are in the kitchen we just move like we are one person with four arms. It's wierd and scary as heck. He can read my emotions on so many levels and I was married for a long time and hubby could never read me like that. It's so intimate and intense for me with him- and he feels the same way. From the very beginning there was just no need to play any kind of games- we were both upfront and just totally open. I'm probably not the most attractive woman he's been with considering but I think what sets us both apart for the other is the chemistry and the way we treat each other.
Naive Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Hell yeah it's great to know that you look better than the EX!!!!!!!
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ Hell yeah it's great to know that you look better than the EX!!!!!!! ^5 Sista!
Pendawn Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 With MY Ex, I wanted to know what his ex's looked like because I was pretty sure I was hotter than them (LOl i was!) but with my new guy, he's had alot more exes, and I already know his taste in women, what he finds cute/sexy and it's the kind of beauty I personally appreciate. So I don't want to know because I am sure I'd think they were all prettier than me. I am dying to know what my Ex ends up with next, cos I am sure I'd still be thinking "I was the best you'd ever get bud!", not that i want him back I just want to him to live in misery alone for the rest of his life pining over me.
very-confused-girl Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Oh yeah, I agree, it is very good feeling to know that you look better than your partner´s ex. My boyfriend is reassuring me all the time that I am the most attractive woman he has ever been with. I always thought he was just trying to be charming, but he is complimenting me so often and in such a non-cliche way, that I cant to anything but believe him. There was one girl in his life who was very very attractive, she was a model as well, so I am a bit funny about her. And I would say that my boyfriend is the most attractive boyfriend I have ever had. Before I met him I was with a typical metrosexual-looking guy with black hair, brown eyes, he looked like Spanish, but I have realized one thing - these type of guys might be good looking but they are not sexy. They are somehow empty. My current boyfriend is not my type. At least wasnt when I met him, but somehow he converted my view of what is my type of a guy But now he is the most attractive guy on the planet to me.
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Pendawn I am dying to know what my Ex ends up with next, cos I am sure I'd still be thinking "I was the best you'd ever get bud!", not that i want him back I just want to him to live in misery alone for the rest of his life pining over me. It always makes me smile when I see my EX with his new GF.. lol this is his second GF since we've been divorced..the first one made me do this>> LOL the one he's with now.. uh... yeah yay for the green guy! LOL
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by very-confused-girl Oh yeah, I agree, it is very good feeling to know that you look better than your partner´s ex. My boyfriend is reassuring me all the time that I am the most attractive woman he has ever been with. I always thought he was just trying to be charming, but he is complimenting me so often and in such a non-cliche way, that I cant to anything but believe him. There was one girl in his life who was very very attractive, she was a model as well, so I am a bit funny about her. And I would say that my boyfriend is the most attractive boyfriend I have ever had. Before I met him I was with a typical metrosexual-looking guy with black hair, brown eyes, he looked like Spanish, but I have realized one thing - these type of guys might be good looking but they are not sexy. They are somehow empty. My current boyfriend is not my type. At least wasnt when I met him, but somehow he converted my view of what is my type of a guy But now he is the most attractive guy on the planet to me. LOL yeah it is nice to know uh? LOL we're all just a bunch of low shallow ****ers haha JK JK JK!!! I always say though.. that yes I want my BF to love how I look... I want him to love who I am too...
very-confused-girl Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Merin LOL yeah it is nice to know uh? LOL we're all just a bunch of low shallow ****ers haha JK JK JK!!! Oh no, Merin, we are women first of all, we want to be beautiful, we are supposed to be beautiful and we wanna be looked at as being beautiful. This is not shallow. Looks was given to you as a quality and it should be looked at as being a part of your life, not something what you should be denying. Yes, you are glad your boyfriend´s exes look worse than you. Huh, why not? LOL, it feels bloody good And it is kind of normal I think I always say though.. that yes I want my BF to love how I look... I want him to love who I am too... Of course, you are a woman, your beauty is your strongest weapon
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by very-confused-girl Oh no, Merin, we are women first of all, we want to be beautiful, we are supposed to be beautiful and we wanna be looked at as being beautiful. This is not shallow. Looks was given to you as a quality and it should be look at as being a part of your life, not something what you should be denying. Yes, you are glad your boyfriend´s exes look worse than you. Huh, why not? LOL, it feels bloody good And it is kind of normal I think Of course, you are a woman, your beauty is your strongest weapon Funny stuff uh?! I totally admitt that it made me happy to hear him say that I'm better to look at than his EXW.. can't lie LOL BUT while being considered nice looking is a good thing.. sometimes it's a double edge sword.. in a lot of ways. Anyone else feel that way?
tanbark813 Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Merin BUT while being considered nice looking is a good thing.. sometimes it's a double edge sword.. in a lot of ways. Anyone else feel that way? Yeah, it really is a curse being this pretty.
whichwayisup Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Yeah it is just an ego thing - Maybe a final NANANANA in the face - But not as mean as this reads...Ya know what I mean?? I know I'm better looking than my hubby's exgf. My hubby is better looking than my exbf too.
Author Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Yeah, it really is a curse being this pretty. I can only imagine Tan.. it's hard being as sexy as you are
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