UltimaWeapon Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 Girl tells me she isn't ready for a relationship right now and she can't be in one now and wants me to be patient and understanding of her situation. She tells me she doesn't expect me to wait and it's selfish of her to ask me to wait.she says to let it be and to forget about her. I tell her we aren't on the same page and I dono if we ever will be. That I don't know what the future holds but that I can't be friends with her or anything less than being with her. 2 days go by. She msgs me late at night after I was done work to ask me when I am done work for tomorrow. I tell her after 430 pm we talk a bit and I ask her why she asked ? She tells me she wants us to see each other one on one like I wished and wanted to do. She says she's not making any promises and if she has time. The next day comes - after work I messaged her what's the plan ? She tells me her phone broke and she needs to go fix it - screens cracked because she dropped it. I ask her so am I going to see you or what? She says well FCK it's broken I gotta fix it now - I tell her it's fine I can come with her to get it fixed and that it shouldn't be a reason we can't see each other. She tells me she's really pissed and that she didn't need this to happen..anyway later. N essentially blew me off. I called her out on it and told her like I offered to come with you and you still flop. She's like well I never promised anything and I said if I have time and stuff happened so forget it. Can someone please explain her behaviour to me ? I don't understand why someone would do this ?
Zahara Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 It's because she's emotionally unavailable and manipulative. And stop being the spineless guy that keeps chasing a woman that does the push/pull/hot/cold. It's unattractive. You serve as a crutch that provides her attention and an ego boost -- all for the wrong reasons. Block her. Quit the crazy. Move on from it. 5
slizl Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 When someone tells you they aren't ready for a relationship right now, to let it be and forget about her, it's probably best to take their advice.... 1
Thegreatestthing Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 If she really liked you she would want to be with you,she doesn't she may like you but not enough,her cracked screen was more important than seeing you.when you really like a guy you want to see him :love: as soon as possible, 1
Author UltimaWeapon Posted November 3, 2014 Author Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) Why even bring it up in the first place if she has no intentions of keeping her word?? She MESSAGED ME first after telling me to forget about her. What games is she playing here? Edited November 3, 2014 by UltimaWeapon
Zahara Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) Why even bring it up in the first place if she has no intentions of keeping her word. She MESSAGED me first after all of that. What games is she playing here? It was already explained to you. Emotional unavailability and immaturity is often push and pull behavior. They don't want you, then they want you, then they don't, on and on. It's a cycle of dysfunction and confusion. If she is telling you she does not want a relationship, let her go. And if she is choosing a broken phone over you, why analyze it even further? It's rather plain to see, regardless of who called/texted/messaged whom first. Even when she did message you first, she still cut you off at the knees. What does it matter? Edited November 3, 2014 by Zahara
Author UltimaWeapon Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 (edited) If a girl tells you she isn't ready for a relationship now and wishes you were patient and understanding and that she is sorry but she can't want a relationship now and that she isn't ready for this and offered her friendship but that I am refusing....( she told me she wasn't ready for anything ) couldn't even make time to see me- even though she said we were rushing things and I was pressuring her- I just wanted to hang out in person and get to know her better after the first night we were together. To be on a date with another guy 2 weeks later( that I ended up seeing through social media ) the guy hashtags #datenight #mywomancrush so I mean it's pretty obvious etc Why lie and not just say I am not interested in you if that was the case... I would find out right away- why take the chance?? If she doesn't care about me why not just tell me straight up I am not interested in you instead of using those b.s excuses. Can anyone explain this ? Edited November 19, 2014 by UltimaWeapon
sagetalk Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Why lie and not just say I am not interested in you if that was the case... Can anyone explain this ? Because you are a backup plan.
Author UltimaWeapon Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Keep in mind I never wanted a relationship right away I told her that numerous times I just wanted to hang out one on one with her. She would always make plans to flop on me. She couldn't make time for me at all - always busy- works 2 jobs - always an excuse- but this guy she can see right away? This girl even came back to me and started messaging me after I cut off contact - told me she enjoys talking to me even though she knows what I wanted from this. She even told me to forget about her to msg me later to tell me let's see each other in person - to flop yet again. Is she like this to just me or everyone? I don't understand if she is this " emotionally unavailable" on purpose or she really doesn't realize how she is behaving ? And if I am her " backup" me seeing that will not make want to be with her so what does she get out of that ?? There is no way I can be with a girl like this after everything. I am done with her completely
stillafool Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Why lie and not just say I am not interested in you if that was the case... I would find out right away- why take the chance?? If she doesn't care about me why not just tell me straight up I am not interested in you instead of using those b.s excuses. Can anyone explain this ? Because it's easier for her to lie than say I got a better offer. I don't believe her phone was broken at all. I think she had a better offer. When she told you you could start dating others and to forget about her you should have listened. No woman tells you that if she wants you. Yes she would hang out with you again if she is bored and nothing else to do but she does not want to be your gf.
Author UltimaWeapon Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 (edited) I did listen I backed off when she told me to forget about her. She messaged me 2 days later asking if we can see each other after I finish work to only flop on me because her phone was broken. I even told her I would go with her to fix it and she just blew it off. Her phone was broken she posted it on fb as a status for all to see but that's besides the point. If she truly doesn't care why not just tell me I am not interested in you that way. She doesn't have to say there's someone else. I don't get why you would lie- especially if she wants to remain on good terms as " friends" for the mean time She even said not to wait for her and that it would be selfish of her to expect that Do you understand what I mean? Edited November 19, 2014 by UltimaWeapon
stillafool Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Yes I understand what you mean but do you understand what we are saying to you? Very few people will have the balls to come right out and say "I'm not interested in you, so please move on" because it sounds cruel. They would much rather lie and say things like "it's not you its me", ILYBNIL with you, etc. The point is when anyone tells you to start dating other people it's over. Don't accept breadcrumbs. After she told you this you should have never said you two could hang out thus giving her another chance to disappoint you. When it's over let it be over. Don't settle for friendship because you know you want more.
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