Chasin Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 You're in a relationship but you want to make sure this is the person who want to be with. Would it be okay to take a break to see other people to justify if you really want that person? Sex, hooking up, all that is excluded.. This is purely hanging out with other people, fun little dates, harmless things.
Redhead14 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 You're in a relationship but you want to make sure this is the person who want to be with. Would it be okay to take a break to see other people to justify if you really want that person? Sex, hooking up, all that is excluded.. This is purely hanging out with other people, fun little dates, harmless things. If you entered into a "relationship" you should have already been sure you wanted to be with that person. If you entered into a relationship without having arrived at that conclusion, you should not have entered into a relationship. If you are feeling this way, you need to break off that relationship.
central Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 If one or both of you has any reservations, perhaps just due to inexperience, then I think it is a good idea to do whatever is needed to put those concerns to rest. When we met, I was the first person my wife contacted and met after being divorced for several years. She has essentially no dating experience when younger, and as she came from a bad marriage was afraid of making another huge mistake unless she got some perspective. She thought I was ideal, but wasn't sure her judgment was good. So, we agreed we'd date others until she figured it out. If either of us met someone we liked better, we'd pursue that - it might be a disappointment for the other, but that's the risk we agreed to take. I had plenty of dating experience at that point so was pretty sure that she was a great match for me. I wanted her to be just as convinced. As it turned out, everyone she met made me look even better than she had thought. After a few months, she was sure of herself, and the rest is history. 15 years later, and we still know we made the right decision. 1
Assasda Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 hahaha this question is hilarious. How is that going to let you figure out if this is the person to be with? It sounds like a good plot for a romantic-comedy movie. Doesnt work in real life
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 If you think that breaking up so you can sew some wild oats just to "make sure" the person you hurt by doing so is The One, think about this: Take a plate out of your cupboard. Drop it on the floor. Glue the pieces back together. Now compare it to a whole plate that was never broken. Still think you can break up & it will all be OK later because you realized the person you dumped (whose heart you broke) really was the right one for you all along? 1
preraph Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 How old are you? If you're really young, like under say 24, and you have pretty much only dated this one girl, then you very well may need to break up and go explore -- but it will probably end this relationship and hurt her very badly. Still, there's no obligation to keep getting more committed to a woman if you are not sure you're ready for commitment or that she is the one. No one says you have to marry the first girl you're serious about. If this is all about you met someone you want to get to know, well, it's not fair to to that without breakup up first, sex or no sex. You have to take your chances and decide if you're willing to probably lose your gf forever or not. You might at least have a frank talk with your gf about how in a hurry she is to marry, etc. and just see if you're on the same page. But that will cause a fight, too, probably. Still, if she says "Now" and you say "When I'm 35," you two need to decide how to move forward.
Elias33 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 What you describe sir is flaky behavior. I say that with all respect. If you don't know what you want, then you should be alone for a while. If you do not know if you want to be with the person you are with, seeing other people isn't going to help you, in fact it is going to be hurtful for all involved.
Author Chasin Posted November 3, 2014 Author Posted November 3, 2014 Whoa whoa! Don't jump to conclusions here! This was strictly theoretical here! This isn't a real scenario I'm inquiring too.
Gloria25 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 If one or both of you has any reservations, perhaps just due to inexperience, then I think it is a good idea to do whatever is needed to put those concerns to rest. When we met, I was the first person my wife contacted and met after being divorced for several years. She has essentially no dating experience when younger, and as she came from a bad marriage was afraid of making another huge mistake unless she got some perspective. She thought I was ideal, but wasn't sure her judgment was good. So, we agreed we'd date others until she figured it out. If either of us met someone we liked better, we'd pursue that - it might be a disappointment for the other, but that's the risk we agreed to take. I had plenty of dating experience at that point so was pretty sure that she was a great match for me. I wanted her to be just as convinced. As it turned out, everyone she met made me look even better than she had thought. After a few months, she was sure of herself, and the rest is history. 15 years later, and we still know we made the right decision. Yep....sometimes people do need to go and see for themselves whether or not the grass is really greener. But then again, IMO, if you're asking for a break - it's already over. I mean, what is there in your SO why you feel you need to see if there's something better out there? Cuz, there's always gonna be someone smarter, cuter, etc, than the person you got.
me85 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) Why would sex be excluded when dating other people?? The concept you're referring to isn't as uncommon as people think it is and I for one don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's actually smart. If you have any doubts whatsoever about the person you're with, then by all means, go see what else is out there. If you're really supposed to be with a particular person then the universe will do everything in it's power to bring the two of you together. But as Gloria mentions, it's not a break. It's an end to that RS. You may reunite later in life but there's no such thing as a break. That's laughable. There's only break ups. Edited November 3, 2014 by me85
central Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 But then again, IMO, if you're asking for a break - it's already over. I mean, what is there in your SO why you feel you need to see if there's something better out there? Cuz, there's always gonna be someone smarter, cuter, etc, than the person you got. Wrong. It worked in our case. What's the old saying? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever.
Tayken Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Wrong. It worked in our case. What's the old saying? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. Even if that means with STDs????
Assasda Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Even if that means with STDs???? hahahahaha. Hilarious. Judging by OPs posts, I think he's really young, and peculiarly naive
Omei Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 The only way you could explore while not losing this girl is if you BOTH entered in an open relationship with agreements on just how far they are allowed to go. But I wouldn't dare even ask her lol open relationships are not very common. Like 1 out of 100 relationships lol just asking her could ruin everything and backfire once she knew you wanted to explore.
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