Omei Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I am not sure you are understanding me, I think she put herself in a situation to be used, he was on one page, she was on the other, by proxy she wound being used, she didn't get what she wanted out of it because she was not honest. That's kinda what I was trying to explain also but gave up lol 1
Author LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 Well I guess you won't make that mistake again. When you are in a FWB set up you are single. I have to agree with others that he has probably met someone he wants to have a relationship with and knows if he comes right out and tells you this you will be hurt. When you spend a year and a half with someone who never brings you around his friends, family, co-workers or doesn't take you on dates but only to bed he doesn't want you as a gf. Well, he did tell me about his friends, family and work. But I never met any of his friends. I got kind of offended when I saw pictures of him with his friends on facebook and saw that he went out to shows. And I'm like why the heck doesn't he even invite me to tag along just as friends? And we did go out on 2 dates in the beginning, he didn't want a relationship at the moment and decided to do the no strings attached since then.
CarrieT Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 And I'm like why the heck doesn't he even invite me to tag along just as friends? Because you were a hole in which to stick his dick. And nothing else. Sorry to put it so bluntly but you take the "F" in "FWB" to mean that you two were actually friends and all evidence is to the contrary.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Well, he did tell me about his friends, family and work. But I never met any of his friends. I got kind of offended when I saw pictures of him with his friends on facebook and saw that he went out to shows. And I'm like why the heck doesn't he even invite me to tag along just as friends? And we did go out on 2 dates in the beginning, he didn't want a relationship at the moment and decided to do the no strings attached since then. This is why you were not invited to hang out with him. He didn't see relationship potential, whereas you did. He truly was looking for no strings attached. As the others are saying, take this experience as a lesson. Don't build expectations on someone who has told you they don't want the same things as you.
ascendotum Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Because you were a hole in which to stick his dick. And nothing else. Sorry to put it so bluntly but you take the "F" in "FWB" to mean that you two were actually friends and all evidence is to the contrary. I agree there was no F in this FWB. I'm sure plenty of guys will have learned or read up above having clear restricted boundaries on avoiding too much bf type behavior so the woman doesn't get mixed signals from them or thinks she can slowly expand the fwb into a relationship. I certainly don't think all guys who have fwb like this view the woman quite as disrespectfully as 'a hole'. I think having an upfront agreed upon limited time end date like Pogostick has is a great way to go as the you can be more free to enjoy each others company (it more like an STR with no apprehension of it turning into a LTR)
MrNate 2.0 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Should've fed him some food while you had the chance. The way through a man's heart is through his stomach. Take this lesson with you onto your next endeavor, my young one. 1
ScreaminEagle Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Men have two emotions, hungry and horny, if in doubt, make him a sandwich 2
Leigh 87 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 The sex wasn't good enough. If you had saucy sex that was out of this world to him, he would have kept banging you. Sorry. This is the nature of FWB! They dump you when they are bored of the same pus*y..... Better off at least finding a man who want to have fun with you and yet who also likes and respects you as a person! 1
Dallers Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) So, what do you think are the chances of him contacting me again? High, if you do not cause any more damage. We men do not work the same way as women. You can kick, scream, fight and cause us hell on earth and we will still come back for more. We love it. We secretly love the drama as well. If the sex was good which it most likely was if you go quiet and move on ignoring him, they break up or he gets fed up or bored, you will get a phone call. We are physical beings run by our organs not our feelings. However. The majority of the posters on this post are spot on. You should think about moving on anyway because it will not be the same. He does not owe you anything. The fact that it went on for over a year is going to take a bit of time to move on but he is fully in his right to inform you that he wishes it to end. That is what a FWB/FB situation is, never easy when it happens but again the posters are right it normally always happen. It can be two weeks or two years but it will end because human nature wants to eventually find a suitable mate to settle down with. FWB/FB situations are by no means easy. You need to get over the initial do I want more with this person and once you accept that the qualities of a relationship with this person are of lower value than the sex then it will never go anywhere. If both parties agree to continue the sex and both feel they can emotionally do it then it is a fantastic agreement one of which I live by because relationships are never any good for me. I love my life to be free and simple to do as I wish. Ignore him and move on. You will make the decision when the time comes if he asks to see you again. I never accept that anything is truly done, it allows you to live in hope rather than suffering and go onto new things. Like I said though the amount of times ex girlfriends have sent me a cheeky late night text Some got lucky. Others got a "Sorry, do I know you" Good luck OP. Edited November 5, 2014 by Dallers 1
irresolute Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 This thread. Wow. It triggers so much emotions because I also fell in love with someone that didn't love me back, yet he and I had a sexual relationship for almost two years. Yep. Now, I'm reading this thread and I completely feel identified with you, unfortunately. I could not end my relationship with him because in these two years, I tried very hard for him to love me...through sex and silly hard to get games. Nothing worked. He never loved me back. Never. However, it was so painful to give up to this illusion, that I grabbed whatever s.h.i.t he would offer me. And then i was happy for a moment, just to feel angry and miserable the next, because my response was always sex. That way I felt he loved me. But it was not love. my advice: block him. Block him and forget about him. Like it never happened. Take him out of your system like a cancer. And have this clear in your mind: even if he comes back, it will be an illusion, because your moment has passed, because he doesnt see you as girlfriend material and, most important, because he will never loves you back. im sorry for your pain.
jcrew11 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Well, I know if I would have told him how I felt, he probably would have just said that he doesn't want a relationship, because he told me that last year when I asked him. Either way, I had to tell him sooner or later. There was no way for me to just "play" it cool. I mean, I just don't want to hook up with him anymore, I wanted him to take me out on dates, meet his friends, just hang-out. I would have just kept waiting and waiting for him to change his mind about me. C'mon, a year and a half? I know for a fact he goes to all these electronic music shows-clubs and has dinner socials on meet up.com, where he is bound to meet some girl and possibly date her. I don't know if there is anyway to win him back. He clearly said he doesn't want to marry you. I mean, you could get breast implants, and that will attract a lot of guys to you. But I wouldn't really recommend that route unless you have money to spend on good breast implants. In this case, "No means No" and he said "No" to you, he rejected you. It hurts but move on and find another guy. Wait a month and see if he changes his mind, but he probably won't.
mortensorchid Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I have/had a FWB for the last year. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel something for him because ... I do. He (as in yours) probably met someone else and is giving it a shot in the dark. If it doesn't work he will come back. That's how FWB works. Same with mine, he came back the other week because someone else didn't work for him. It's a sad state to be in, I've been there as well. And you have to ask yourself how/why you got into this predicament and why you want something else from him. I know, tooting my own horn but ... When you're alone with only dreams of you that won't come true ... What'll I do?
Recommended Posts