ScreaminEagle Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 My best friend, whom I have known for twenty years is dating a rather unusual woman, however, with that being said, I have some concerns that I really am on the fence about bringing to his attention, out of fear of hurting him. My friend has always been socially awkward, however has a heart of gold. He does well for himself, and has a lot of things that he can afford such as a boat, jet ski's etc. People use him for his toys and parties rather then establishing a true friendship with him. Now comes the girlfriend. They have a lot in common in some ways, meaning there is definitely chemistry and they are a cute couple, but their are stark differences between them. She is nice, is one of the guys, and has befriended every male in our social circle, including me. I think she lacks boundaries, she constantly tells me things about the relationship that are TMI, and things about her past that I really don't need to know. My friend also knows about her past, which is quite promiscuous, and he accepts that, which is fine, it doesn't bother him. But lately she has started telling me about their bedroom issues, and it is getting to the point where she is crossing some huge boundaries. She has mentioned my friends penis size, how he is not romantic, and how he is scared of commitment. I understand that she could relay some concerns she has, but she goes to far in telling me things that I don't need to know. The one thing that really bothered me is that she went to her friends wedding, male friend, turned out that was her friends with benefits prior to meeting my friend, and she didn't even tell him that they had a sexual relationship. I mean I think it is kind of disrespectful for her to drag him to a wedding, in another country, lie and say that they were just friends, and have him unknowingly be a part of her past. She is the type of girl who cannot take criticism, she can dish it but cannot take it. So trying to tell her something she shuts down and will not hear your side, but she is perfectly fine expressing when she is upset. It is not my place to interfere with their relationship, but I don't want my friend to get hurt, and it is bothering me.
Poppyolive Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 My advice to you, is tell her she's crossing boundaries and that you have zero interest in hearing her issues/problems about a great friend of yours. That's all you need to do. Your friend can figure out for himself whether or not she's a good fit for him. As difficult & frustrating that is to watch, you kinda have to step back, be there when **** hits the fan. Once you talk to her, she should respect your request and you won't have to hear anymore. Obviously if it gets worse, then down the line have a chat with your friend.
Author ScreaminEagle Posted November 3, 2014 Author Posted November 3, 2014 My advice to you, is tell her she's crossing boundaries and that you have zero interest in hearing her issues/problems about a great friend of yours. That's all you need to do. Your friend can figure out for himself whether or not she's a good fit for him. As difficult & frustrating that is to watch, you kinda have to step back, be there when **** hits the fan. Once you talk to her, she should respect your request and you won't have to hear anymore. Obviously if it gets worse, then down the line have a chat with your friend. She is the type of girl where if I say something that she doesn't like, she will make a big stink about it, we are in our mid thirties and she acts like a brat, only her feelings matter. My friend sometimes does things inadvertently that drive me crazy. Nothing major, but he comes from a good place. When she constantly complains about him not being romantic etc, I try and tell her that he does things to annoy me as well, she dismisses what I say immediately and tells me to get over it. If I told her she was crossing boundaries it would be a sh*t storm.
Assasda Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 It is not my place to interfere with their relationship, but I don't want my friend to get hurt, and it is bothering me. Oh, but it is your place. You are this guys best friend. - If you dont like her, you should not hang around her. Also, dont be afraid to let your friend know that you dont like her. You dont have to tell him outright, but you can show by your actions. If youre close to him, dont be afraid to ask how she is doing and ask him stuff like "Is She treating you right?" Gauge what is going on with him, then go from there
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