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Boyfriend is still friendly with his former FWB.


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Posted

My boyfriend (22) and I (20) started dating a little over a month ago. He was upfront with me that he still hung out with his former fwb from time to time, but only ever in a group of their mutual friends. I was totally fine with that, it's whatever, but I didn't want to be included in that until I was sure that I wouldn't overthink everything they said to each other or how they interact and all that.

 

He told me 2 weeks ago that back in high school, he cheated on a girl he was seeing with this fwb. High school, people make mistakes, etc, but that only made things worse for myself because all I could think about was if this girl is some kind of weakness for him or something. The last time they hooked up was back in early September, but it only got to third base and shortly after that she got back with her ex boyfriend.

 

He let it slip to his best friend that I was uncomfortable being around her, his best friend in turn told the whole group, including the fwb, who is also friends with my boyfriend's sister. His best friend and his sister are all "Oh, it's no biggie, it's whatever, don't worry about it." but then complete third parties who are not at all included in this situation understand more where I'm coming from in the sense that that's an awkward situation to be in and that I should take all the time in the world to warm up to being around her.

 

What's funny to me is that her boyfriend has no idea of the most recent hook up. Hmm, I wonder why? Maybe cause he'd be as uncomfortable as I am? And yet, I'm made to look and feel like the crazy one. Alrighty then.

 

I don't know what I'm asking for, really. I really adore my boyfriend and I personally don't care if he's around her, I'm just really skeptical about me being around her and overthinking and driving myself crazy the entire time.

 

Any kind of advice from anyone would be appreciated.

Posted

How old are you?

 

You can subtley let your BF now that you only sleep with people who sleep with you and only you. Listen to what he says.

- After you have that talk, youre only going to have to trust him.

 

You dont really know anyone in a month. So be cautious

I personally dont think you guys should be having sex yet

Posted

I started dating a new lady a couple months ago, and things have been going fantastic. However, I'm still friends with my FWB. We hang out but do NOT sleep together anymore. She knows that is a boundary I will never cross (I was cheated on by my ex wife and my friends with no more benefits knows this, and she knows I would never ever do that to another human being).

 

I get good sex from my new girlfriend and I only want to be intimate with her. The thing is, my xFWB truly went into it on a just friends basis only...it was only sex, no feelings. She actually just met someone and asked if she could let me know where she will be in case she needs a quick getaway if she got in danger. I said of course. She is truly one of my best friends, and a relationship was always off the table.

 

My case is very rare, though. I have to admit that. But it IS possible to separate sex and still be friends only...provided both parties agree going into it and act like adults, both before and after the benefits begin and end.

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