tem7074 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 This was the longest stretch of virtually no contact that we've done since we broke up about two years ago. Started feeling much better, and wasn't wondering or caring much what she was doing or who she was doing it with. She called the other day (she hadn't called me in about 2 months) and left kind of a strange message saying things like "sorry I hurt you", "I hope you're happy", "Today I listened to that CD you gave me and I liked it", "thanks for all the beautiful moments", and ended with "have a nice life". I texted her back and said in a joking way that her phone message was so much drama. It was kind of funny because she has accused me of being the dramatic one in the past. I still think it was a little weird, why leave all that stuff in a phone message? We'd rehashed the relationship over and over in the past. All that stuff had been said before numerous times. I decided why not - and gave her a call today. It was a nice conversation. When the call ended we laughed and both said have a nice life. I feel ok about this contact, but I guess I am a little nervous as I am posting on here. But, it seems like some progress has been made in me getting over her. But I know to be careful - that little bit of contact can be the beginning of a slippery slope. You could start wanting more and more. That's why many people on here preach NC forever. Anyway, just felt like sharing. Getting over her has been one of the most difficult things I have dealt with in this life. And I have had a 5 year and 12 year relationship before our relatively short experience. Feel free to post similar stories of recovering on here.
Jamesa1019 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 I just spoke to my ex girlfriend that I dated for 8 years today for the first time in two and a half years because my current ex would not allow the simplest form of contact. Since my current ex just broke up with me 3 weeks after we closed on a house I figured "ya know what"? "I'm gonna reach out to my original ex and apologize for all the terrible things I put her through". So I did, and she called me back the next day and we had a great conversation. She was concerned about me because of what just happened to me in my current/dead relationship. She has been doing well with her boyfriend of 2 years and she made me feel good about myself and my current situation. There is no intention of hooking up at all, it just felt good to get that off my chest to her, and hell I almost don't even care what happens with my current ex any more. The more I think about it she really boned me over good. And I cannot wait for the next two years to roll around and get that same phone call from her! Life is one hell of a ride!
Author tem7074 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Just wanted to post a short update to this thread. So we have texted and chatted here and there over the past few weeks. She mentioned in one conversation that she was going to San Diego with her son over Xmas and if I wanted to come along I was welcome. It was kind of an unusual invitation. We don't live anywhere near each other, though we have taken trips together in the past. I usually go home to see my family for Xmas, but after it started getting colder here San Diego sounded real nice. So I texted her the other day and said I was seriously considering taking her up on the invitation. She texts back "Are you trying to date me again? Did I give you wrong signals?". I responded "No I wasn't thinking of dating, we know that doesn't work. But you invited me on this trip remember?". She said essentially, yes the invitation was a very friendly one and nothing else. I told her maybe she should invite whoever she is dating now. That way you can be more sure of the signals you might be sending. While I interpreted the invitation initially as being a friendly one, this text exchange really did not make me feel good at all. Which first of all indicates that I might not be over her quite yet. Second, I started to wonder, was I doing something to make her think I wanted to try to date her again? Do I want to date her again? Well, maybe I would if we lived in the same town. I'm not sure I want to be "just friends" at this point though. Why is she initiating the contact, and making invitations to spend time with me, then when I respond positively she pulls this crap? It kind of ruined my day. I was doing just fine not talking to her the prior 3 months. I wanted to have a conversation with her about it, but decided instead to just stop responding when she contacts me. Of course, I got the nice happy thanksgiving message, and now some pictures today of her and her son out hiking. Like nothing happened. I guess we might need to have the conversation. Anyway, good times. Again, some would say to go no contact so that you don't put yourself through this. It would seem that this would be easy in this case. Long distance ex, no mutual friends. But no.
tryingtodealwithit Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 Just wanted to post a short update to this thread. So we have texted and chatted here and there over the past few weeks. She mentioned in one conversation that she was going to San Diego with her son over Xmas and if I wanted to come along I was welcome. It was kind of an unusual invitation. We don't live anywhere near each other, though we have taken trips together in the past. I usually go home to see my family for Xmas, but after it started getting colder here San Diego sounded real nice. So I texted her the other day and said I was seriously considering taking her up on the invitation. She texts back "Are you trying to date me again? Did I give you wrong signals?". I responded "No I wasn't thinking of dating, we know that doesn't work. But you invited me on this trip remember?". She said essentially, yes the invitation was a very friendly one and nothing else. I told her maybe she should invite whoever she is dating now. That way you can be more sure of the signals you might be sending. While I interpreted the invitation initially as being a friendly one, this text exchange really did not make me feel good at all. Which first of all indicates that I might not be over her quite yet. Second, I started to wonder, was I doing something to make her think I wanted to try to date her again? Do I want to date her again? Well, maybe I would if we lived in the same town. I'm not sure I want to be "just friends" at this point though. Why is she initiating the contact, and making invitations to spend time with me, then when I respond positively she pulls this crap? It kind of ruined my day. I was doing just fine not talking to her the prior 3 months. I wanted to have a conversation with her about it, but decided instead to just stop responding when she contacts me. Of course, I got the nice happy thanksgiving message, and now some pictures today of her and her son out hiking. Like nothing happened. I guess we might need to have the conversation. Anyway, good times. Again, some would say to go no contact so that you don't put yourself through this. It would seem that this would be easy in this case. Long distance ex, no mutual friends. But no. dude, she's clearly messing with you. that was super lame of her to invite you and then act weird when you said you were thinking of taking her up on it. it's pull and push. i'm willing to bet she isn't happy right now and is using you to make herself feel better. just get out of there. seriously.
Michael 93 Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 But I know to be careful - that little bit of contact can be the beginning of a slippery slope. You could start wanting more and more. That's why many people on here preach NC forever. Anyway, just felt like sharing. Getting over her has been one of the most difficult things I have dealt with in this life. And I have had a 5 year and 12 year relationship before our relatively short experience. Feel free to post similar stories of recovering on here. Very Very true!!!!! Be careful man. That one bit will leave you wanting more and more. I can hold my hands up and admit that. My friend Chitown D described it best. Its like a drug, you really become addicted to it and it can consume you if you let it. Take it easy and resist the upcoming urges. You will be fine. Well done for the way you handled it.
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