Just smile Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 this is the hardest for me . I receive calls and no one is there I know it's him he listens to me I pause in sheer terror and cry to myself then hang up . No conversation . Yet he's trying as well as I to avoid me .. I'm very weak very depressed & have no energy . I'm obsessed with wondering if he's moved on with another woman or when he will reach out with empty Promises as he Always does . Let me repeat always !!!??! Intellectually I know it's for the best to remain no contact yet it feels as if I'm mourning a death . My best friend. But a toxic friend who ignored me and only wanted me on his terms . It's very hard and I'm very isolated sad and don't want to leave my house!
Arieswoman Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Just smile, If you are getting "hang up" calls you need to tell your service provider. In UK this is counted as harassment and is a criminal offence. Stay strong. x
lemonsugar Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 It sucks at the beginning could you start a new hobby or sport up to meet new people. Honestly it will get better dont give him the control he really isnt worth it. When youy feel the need to talk to him go for a run or put a post on here. Dont give him all the control 1
Author Just smile Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Ive lost count how long its been since we spoke week ? Week and half?? The silence is deadly I wonder if hes with someone else I wonder if hes hurting ( @i believe he is ) I want tp drive by his home , its borderline obsessive . Please help !
todreaminblue Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Ive lost count how long its been since we spoke week ? Week and half?? The silence is deadly I wonder if hes with someone else I wonder if hes hurting ( @i believe he is ) I want tp drive by his home , its borderline obsessive . Please help ! dont drive by his house it would be a mistake that you repeat.........what do you like to do when you are happy ....what are some of the things you enjoy outside of him...a week and a half isnt very long.......you have to stay strong and learn how to get along...... sorry channeling gloria gaynor and this dance him out of your head works for me....dancing hard releases feel good endorphins....you can face a day better if you dance in the morning and last thing at night......i haven't danced in a long time....and i miss dancing.....it has helped me through some really rough spots...music and dance are my feel good go tos..i release pain when i dance.......what are your feel good go tos....chocolate also works for me .the gooier the better..but not as far as my weight goes...so i am back on my diet and going to dance very soon...smilin....stay strong...you will survive you know.........deb
irresolute Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Ive lost count how long its been since we spoke week ? Week and half?? The silence is deadly I wonder if hes with someone else I wonder if hes hurting ( @i believe he is ) I want tp drive by his home , its borderline obsessive . Please help ! Hey, stop now!! Hes probably not hurting as you. If he broke up its probably because he is not interested in you anymore. So, stop crying and wondering and continue with your life as it was. Silence is not deadly, silence is the answer. 3
Author Just smile Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 This is sick but after our breakup I returned his clothes etc just to fill you ih he was sexually inept could never get am erection yet had weird sex fetishes , before our recent breakup he bought a sex toy to use on me ' I returned it in its orginal package and last night I received an email with two photos .... he apparently cut up the plastic penis in a million pieces &; threatned to call a detective ???? Ive never seen such a horiffic photo and display of crazy in my entire life , needless to say it was a nail for me . I dont have dreams of him coming back im sickened by him and myself for allowing this so long on my life! ive done nothing to this man . If you go back read my posts from beginning youll get it. I feel beaten but angry and want nothing to do with crazy narcissit ever again
Mi7522 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Hopefully this is what you need to move on. Sounds like it might be in your best interest too. He sounds like a sick dude. Block him from everything you have, if you let him continue he will get much worse
lemonsugar Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 OMFG maybe try and block his nuimber. Also be a bit wary he sounds a bit psyco. At least its something to tell the grandkids 1
Author Just smile Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 Numbers have been blocked through my carrier he creates apps to call me - I contscted thr police for advice - good friend of mine who is a cop @ I filed a report - if he does call and he willl I will persue a restraing order against him, which will kill him being a gun collecter !!!! Its a painful ending very very painful
lemonsugar Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Sorry to hear this. Hopefully he leaves you be can you change your number?
OK_computer Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Hey, stop now!! Hes probably not hurting as you. If he broke up its probably because he is not interested in you anymore. So, stop crying and wondering and continue with your life as it was. Silence is not deadly, silence is the answer. That right there is the most legit thing i've read all day. Silence is the answer, silence is the epitome of NC. Silence speaks louder than words, in fact it speaks volumes, especially to an ex whose become habituated to you-the dumpee- being desparate and head over heels for him/her. The fact that you are now silent, obstinate, relentlessly moved on to greener pastures (by that I mean just living a normal life) is something the dumper will now how to face. He/She will face the music now, he/she will now know what it feels like to be so low, to not be cared for, to not have someone worried about their safety and well being. In this life we all must make this mistake. But the silence explains in it of itself all that you wish you had said, because it sums up the TOTALITY OF....THE END. It's over, done, good bye, thanks for coming out...of the womb, the closet, whatever. Done. And there's no going back...no matter what. It's an exothermic reaction. it's the point of no return, it's death essentially. Even if aliens invade the the white house and now start a new superior alien-human hybrid race that sucks up the earths mantle to fuel their home planet, will you call ur ex to see if hes ok? b/c you now what? HE doesn't care! He probably never did. So we need to respect oursleves, and forgive our shortcomings, and tell them sweetly in a "note to self" to get the f((( OUT of our lives. Which i literally said to my ex btw. 1
Author Just smile Posted November 8, 2014 Author Posted November 8, 2014 I love your response above . I agree I - don't think he ever cared but I certainly had given gin attention and that is why he always came back . Unusually enough he would come back because he missed me sexually . The silence from him is bizarre but the silence on my end is downright hard but of course im doing it and sitting back and waiting for his boredom to set in before he begins to call me . I dread this and yes I can change my numbers but once the day comes when I'm strong enough to never Answer his calls is the day I know the relationship is over& this time I mean serious business . I think of him all day first thing in morning last thing At night . I miss everything I have no idea why I miss him - he wasn't who I thought he was . The relationship was strange made me feel uneasy & I knew it wasn't healthy . Yet I hung on for six long God dam years of my precious life, now At 46 im starting over and never thought I'd be where I am today at this point in my life . In his last email he wrote in caps there is no other woman ! ( because I always thought there must be someone waiting in the wings ) but what I've come to realize is he doesn't want anyone he wants himself - he's self absorbed . I'm sure he'll pay for sex . He's sick . I just want to feel human again , the depression is debilitating . 1
OK_computer Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I love your response above . I agree I - don't think he ever cared but I certainly had given gin attention and that is why he always came back . Unusually enough he would come back because he missed me sexually . The silence from him is bizarre but the silence on my end is downright hard but of course im doing it and sitting back and waiting for his boredom to set in before he begins to call me . I dread this and yes I can change my numbers but once the day comes when I'm strong enough to never Answer his calls is the day I know the relationship is over& this time I mean serious business . I think of him all day first thing in morning last thing At night . I miss everything I have no idea why I miss him - he wasn't who I thought he was . The relationship was strange made me feel uneasy & I knew it wasn't healthy . Yet I hung on for six long God dam years of my precious life, now At 46 im starting over and never thought I'd be where I am today at this point in my life . In his last email he wrote in caps there is no other woman ! ( because I always thought there must be someone waiting in the wings ) but what I've come to realize is he doesn't want anyone he wants himself - he's self absorbed . I'm sure he'll pay for sex . He's sick . I just want to feel human again , the depression is debilitating . I understand...beginning again takes so much time, and we don't have the support to keep climbing up again after each relationship, it's hard to open again, esp. without healing, which itself takes so much time. It's a vicious cycle, unfortunately, but at the same time it is necessary so. This man will come back, they always do, but mostly they are breadcrumbs, you need to understand. Sometimes their egos are so ballooned that their return is so subtle, like staring at you, hating you, or even talking louder when they are near you etc. etc. But we must understand, and ACCEPT-being the operative word-the fact that this man/woman is no good for us, is a toxic waste no differnt than what those big pharmaceutical comapnies dump into our lakes and rivers. My ex knows or thinks she knows that I will never leave her, that I will keep crawling back, and for the last 4 years and 20 fights I always did. But you know..their comes a moment of clarity..and universal slap to your face..when you realize how low you've fallen, how much you have given and what little you got in return. LOVE? TRUE LOVE? It's not supposed to hurt this much, it's not supposed to make you miserable, and dread waking up b/c when you do, you realize this person is still gone. All they water in them put out the fire in you. I know...I know too well...I know what it was like looking up at the apathetic ceiling before a surgery final exam begging and shouting at the heavens and God saying "Why? Why are you doing this to me? How long will you make me suffer?!" The answer comes from within over time, it takes no form from outer things, but from within i must emphasize you . One day you will get peeled away from him for good, not out of realization, but also out of EXHAUSTION of your emotions, mind and heart, which can no longer take anymore feelings toward this man. It happens, they disappear. How hard it is for conjoined twins to separate. But when your mind finally exhausts itself of feeling towards him...it will be over and you can finally rest. You can piece back you life...and then...you will breathe again. 1
Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Ok_Comp is completely right, the beginning is so damn hard, when my ex and i had to split up, i literally hallucinated seeing her everywhere, all the bus stops we used to catch the bus from, where we used to sit on the bus etc. etc. I used to stand in a group of 5 people but no give two craps about what anyone was saying, i was so absent minded and caught up with her. I used to be haunted, not just have, but literally haunted by thoughts of her in every facet of my life. When and until the realisation came, why am i torturing myself, why am i doing this to myself? Why am i not letting myself get back up and carry on enjoying the day? Since then its been progress, since then, iv found myself and unravelled my own happiness. Its damn hard honestly, so damn hard, but remember, sometimes the hardest test are for the best fighters. 1
Author Just smile Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 Why is it so hard why do I still love him Why has he not contacted me Im depressed
Author Just smile Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 Here I am re reading my stupidity - I took him back December 22 he was dead set on therapy !!! I was hopeful . Couples therapy ? Wow - until we had a disagreement - I was angry w him and that was all it took for him to be done with me - during our arguement I hastily said **** therapy . Well he emailed rhe therapist explaining why therapy was futile then blocked me and hasn't spoke to me since claiming " we" will never change and I to seek my own therapy . It's been 7 days no contact . It never ends
dumbass2 Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 It will never end until you end it and move on. It is 100% up to you. Do not give him any attention. Do not contact him. Do not reply if he contacts you. It will not get better until you make that decision.
Apparition Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Hi, there. I'm sorry you are feeling depressed and heart broken. Unfortunately, there is nothing any of us can do or say to make this pain go away, the only thing that will is time. However, during this time, it is up to you how you spend it. You can spend it obsessing over your ex, wrecking your own head with "why?" , "what if" etc, OR you can spend this time focusing on you. I know that when we all experience this it takes a great amount of effort for even getting ourselves out of bed in the morning, but you will have to find that strength inside you to do it. Do you believe you are worth more than being treated like this? If yes, please don't waste your time obsessing over a boy. Focus on you, get into a stage of life where you know you don't need anyone to make you happy. A place where you are independent, and know you are worth more than being treated like crap. Good luck.
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