riokid180 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Aside from the last one, who just sent that "have fun at the party" text. I am strict NC. What am I doing wrong? Other people on here always posting about their ex's trying to crawl back to them. Never happens for me.
hurts2death Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 dont know why. maybe the relationships were too small? a relationship must have some degree of depth in order for a break up to have an impact on both parties 2
mammasita Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 You're not doing anything wrong. Being contacted is not some sort of grand prize.....who really cares if it happens or not. I'll tell you the one person who shouldn't care is you. If you sit here wondering when will it happen and why not, then you're not over your ex yet. 6
Author riokid180 Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 You're not doing anything wrong. Being contacted is not some sort of grand prize.....who really cares if it happens or not. I'll tell you the one person who shouldn't care is you. If you sit here wondering when will it happen and why not, then you're not over your ex yet. I'm not counting on my last ex calling me ever. I have just been browsing this forum and notice a lot of threads where the exes come back. That has never happened to me. Not with my ex wife, my ex fiance, and probably 7-8 gfs and who knows how many countless semi-gf flings. 1
Arieswoman Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 riokid, being contacted by an ex is the last thing you want, so be glad it hasn't happened. It only happened a couple of time to me and it was only because they'd just been dumped by their latest female. Fortunately I was over them enough to tell them to get lost.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I'm not counting on my last ex calling me ever. I have just been browsing this forum and notice a lot of threads where the exes come back. That has never happened to me. Not with my ex wife, my ex fiance, and probably 7-8 gfs and who knows how many countless semi-gf flings. Who's been the instigator in the breakups? What exactly is it that you think not being contacted by any of them means? Also, as mammasita said, being contacted by an ex is really nothing one in NC should aspire to. That's not what it's for. When an ex reaches out it's almost always out of purely selfish motives and serves no purpose other than to anger, confuse or simply set you back months or even years worth of progress.
Author riokid180 Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Who's been the instigator in the breakups? What exactly is it that you think not being contacted by any of them means? Also, as mammasita said, being contacted by an ex is really nothing one in NC should aspire to. That's not what it's for. When an ex reaches out it's almost always out of purely selfish motives and serves no purpose other than to anger, confuse or simply set you back months or even years worth of progress. They always dump me, except for flings, in which I usually just fade away after a few weeks. I've never been the dumper in a serious relationship. I just don't understand what it is about me that I am never the guy they drunkenly text, or call in a moment of vulnerability. I know girls do it. Just not to me ever.
Bella2 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I've been the dumper and the dumpee in my life. When I was the dumpee, nope, no ex ever tried to get me back. When I was the dumper, I would after months or even years, receive a message from the one I dumped. Just to catch up or so, I guess. Not because they hoped for a new shot at a relationship, just as two people who were once close and showing interest. That's fine. 1
lemonsugar Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 They always dump me, except for flings, in which I usually just fade away after a few weeks. I've never been the dumper in a serious relationship. I just don't understand what it is about me that I am never the guy they drunkenly text, or call in a moment of vulnerability. I know girls do it. Just not to me ever. You did something right. I do wonder when a girls mind is made up that it is over it really is/ Where guys do things more spontaneously. I could say i wouldnt never go back to contact with my recent ex and i know i wont 1
Sugarkane Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 With the exception of one Ahole ex, I haven't been contacted either. And all I got was more lies and verbal abuse.
BC1980 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 I have 4 exes, and I only heard from 2 of them after the breakups. One contacted me 10 years later in an attempt to enter into a FWB situation, and the other one wanted to keep me as a backup until I went NC. Consider yourself lucky that your exes never contacted you. Who knows the reasons WHY? You won't ever know. Maybe they were mature enough to leave well enough alone. 2
Sugarkane Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 I've also never had a sincere apology for being dumped cruelly. I guess as long as Their onto their next flavor of the month, that's all they care about? This is why I have to take a break. I feel I'm the exception aswell. I Also never contact them. 2
irresolute Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 Doesnt matter why. It really does not matter.
OK_computer Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 OP, Think of the odds of you flipping a coin 9 or so times in a row and each time of those times the coin flipped straight heads/tails in a row straight. THAT'S all that really happened to you. You were 'straight' out of luck. BUT, not being contacted by an ex is a blessing in disguise. I wish my exes never came back and showed interest, especially in the 'let's be friends' subtext which i was too naive to understand at the time. If exes comes back to you, it's so that they can ease their own guilt, make amends, and keep you as back up like left overs in the fridge you've been meaning to throw out but are too lazy to. The point is, it's actually a blessing they don't come back. My ex came back to me afterbreak up and kept me friendzoned for the longest time. How pathetic i must have seemed to her! The best thing is for exes to never contact again, exes can't ever be friends..though we hope so dearly, they can never. Cheer up
MrBossMan Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 Because you were the dumpee everytime, maybe it's because you hold onto the relationship long after you should end it, allowing resentment to build. Just a theory. 1
mariekatie Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 I was always the dumpee. People said i'm too nice, but of course i have my flaws. I was cheated on, look down upon and etc. And obviously like every dumpee, i tried to get them back. But eventually i moved on and when i moved on, that's when they start flowing back into my life. I get the typical drunk texts, and the "i miss us" texts. I guess they thought the grass is greener on the other side. Yeah it's greener because it's often filled with bull****. Despite all my flaws, i had never ever cheated on them, i tried my best and put in 100% efforts. I guess nice girls/guys finish last. People tend to overlook good people. So perhaps when they see you "moving on", they would jump back in and try to stop you. But i'm the kind that don't ever turn back once i'm over it. P.s sorry for the bad english, not my native language! 1
mariekatie Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 They always dump me, except for flings, in which I usually just fade away after a few weeks. I've never been the dumper in a serious relationship. I just don't understand what it is about me that I am never the guy they drunkenly text, or call in a moment of vulnerability. I know girls do it. Just not to me ever. I don't know about other girls but i think most girls move on and don't turn back. It's usually the guys who regrets and tries to come back. We usually do the "slow-fade" thing, so when we break up, it's really over. Looking back on all my relationships, i was always the dumpee but i would never ever go back to an ex. Well of course i have regrets but i always leave it in the past, i wouldn't bother to look them up again.
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