Snapchat and relationships

[CurlyQ]

My boyfriend is a regular snapchat user. Which wouldn't be a problem for me if it weren't for the fact that he does not snapchat me. Instead, when I go to snapchat him, I see his "best friends" list which is always filled with different women. He has female friends, which I understand. He just went out of town this weekend for a female friend's Halloween party. I was invited to tag along, but I had other plans. Having friends of the opposite sex is not the problem. The problem is the women he snapchats. Not once has he ever mentioned any of them. To the best of my knowledge, they don't even exist until I see the name and ask who it is. I find it very disrespectful that he does not share this information with me. I have never seen these women text him. I don't look through his phone, so for all I know they are texting as well, but I have never WITNESSED a text from any of them. I also don't see any postings on Facebook from any of them. I only see that they snapchat back and forth. It bothers me to the point of insanity. I do not get any feelings that he is cheating or ever has or ever would, but I am still not comfortable with the idea of women he has never mentioned to me before sending him pictures that will disappear from existence in 10 seconds or less. I'm sure some will chalk this up to insecurity and jealousy, but to me it relates to respect and communication. I've expressed my concerns with him and he said he has no problem deleting the snapchat app if it will put my mind at ease, but I feel like I am being controlling if I ask him to do that. I don't want to get this confused, I am perfectly comfortable with him having friends of the opposite sex. I trust him. I am just not comfortable with their only line of communication being in the form of pictures that delete themselves. Snapchat is just sketchy and I would honestly be more comfortable if he simply texts these women he's friends with or talks with them over Facebook.

 

I don't want to overstep my boundaries with him, but I also don't want mine to be crossed.

Has anyone else had this problem with the god forsaken snapchat app?

[heartshaped]

No, I haven't had a problem with it thankfully, but in the past I did have a similar problem with a now ex boyfriend who was cheating.

 

I'm not saying your boyfriend is cheating, but it does sound like he's up to no good snapchatting all these women you haven't even heard of and don't appear to be friends of his. I agree asking him to delete the app would be controlling and honestly if he's doing something he has no business doing while in a relationship on snapchat he can just as easily do it through some other medium.

 

What do your instincts say in this situation? Do you believe this is all innocent ?

[CurlyQ]

I don't feel he is being unfaithful in any way other than through disrespect. I managed to sneak a peek at a couple snaps he sent one of the ladies, and in one he sent her a picture of his food, and in another he was asking how her child was doing. I looked this particular woman up on his Facebook and saw that she went to high school with him and his best friends which makes me assume they used to be close, and that she is engaged to the child's father. But why can't he catch up with her over text message?

[mammasita]

I don't feel he is being unfaithful in any way other than through disrespect. I managed to sneak a peek at a couple snaps he sent one of the ladies, and in one he sent her a picture of his food, and in another he was asking how her child was doing. I looked this particular woman up on his Facebook and saw that she went to high school with him and his best friends which makes me assume they used to be close, and that she is engaged to the child's father. But why can't he catch up with her over text message?

 

Disrespect is just as bad.

 

In a relationship, respect is everything.

 

I agree that asking him to delete snapchat won't solve anything and will make you appear controlling. He kinda put you on the spot by saying "if YOU want me to delete it I will".

[Assasda]

I dont understand feeling disrespected.

You you want information, ask him about it.

 

Asking him to delete is is controlling, which is a byproduct of jealousy

Seems like thats what you want to do.

 

I find your overbearing attitude disrespectful to your BF

[sadsoymilk]

Oh, Snapchat. My ex is an avid user of that app. For some reason, he preferred it to texting and used it to keep up with all of his friends.. almost all of whom are female. I told him I didn't really care, but I still found it odd. I still don't really understand it. Maybe your boyfriend is the same way and just finds it easier and more entertaining than texting. If the snaps you've seen so far are innocent, then don't be too worried about it- I definitely wouldn't ask him to delete because that could just cause more serious problems down the road.

 

I would stay slightly wary of the issue though - after my ex dumped me out of nowhere, I went to delete him from the app and I checked his best friends - his ex girlfriend was the top "best friend". He had been snapping her for a long time and I just didn't notice which makes me feel like an idiot, because he was probably cheating using the dumb app the whole time..

[Michelle ma Belle]

Honestly I think Snapchat is the most useless not to mention ridiculous app on the market as a means to communicate regularly. Unless you're15 and in awe of new flashy toys and apps who can't live without staying connected or old enough to have it to snap your junk and parade it around in cyberspace what is the point of it exactly?

 

I mean, how many apps to communicate does one person need? Geez.