Maria46 Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Bf and I have been together for almost two years now and live in a resort city in Mexico. We are in our late 40s and have been married before. What I don't understand is that, after being divorced for over 7 years, his ex wife is still calling him. He has changed his number (because of her calling) as she would call just to talk about her menopause, high school class reunion or other things that he could care less about. She would only call when her bf was at work. My bf would always tell her he was busy so he could get off of the phone and he would say he would call her back (which he never did). She also told him that there were certain hours he could call back at (when her bf would be at work). His children were given the new number so she probably gave them some story about how she needed to contact him so they would give her the number as she called again today. She said she was coming to where we live for a vacation and couldn't get a hotel room where she wanted. Sounds like her boyfriend is coming along as well. His ex and her bf came here four years ago, and she lied to her bf to try to get away to try to meet with my bf. I tell my bf that she is trying to get back together with him, but he doesn't believe it. Bf's mother feels the same way as well. I think he needs to just tell her to leave him alone unless it deals with their kids. He feels that she is not after him and is patient with her calls. Any input would be appreciated
Pocky Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 He has changed his number (because of her calling) as she would call just to talk about her menopause, high school class reunion or other things that he could care less about. He feels that she is not after him and is patient with her calls. These two statements are inconsistent. If he is patient with her regarding her calls why would he change his telephone number?
Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 First.. they have Kids together. This is going to connect them forever.. sorry. Second, if he really doesn't want her calling to talk about her hang nails or whatever then IMO he would be more direct with her about this.
Author Maria46 Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 He changed his number as he doesn't want to be rude to her because of their children (both grown adults). And I know they will be connected forever because of the children, which I have no problem with. I have children from a previous marriage but I wouldn't be calling their father 2000 miles away to chat about anything other than my children. I guess my question really is, why does she sneak around behind her bf's back to make these phone calls? There hasn't been one call that was about their children in all of the time I have been with him. Am I paranoid believing there is a hidden agenda here?? If there wasn't one, why would she make these calls when her bf is at work?? And yes, his children and his ex wife know about me. Or am I just whining?? Thanks for your input
Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Maria46 He changed his number as he doesn't want to be rude to her because of their children (both grown adults). And I know they will be connected forever because of the children, which I have no problem with. I have children from a previous marriage but I wouldn't be calling their father 2000 miles away to chat about anything other than my children. I guess my question really is, why does she sneak around behind her bf's back to make these phone calls? There hasn't been one call that was about their children in all of the time I have been with him. Am I paranoid believing there is a hidden agenda here?? If there wasn't one, why would she make these calls when her bf is at work?? And yes, his children and his ex wife know about me. Or am I just whining?? Thanks for your input I don't think you're whining. It's possible that your BF and his EX just have a different type of relationship than the one you share with your EXH.. She (his EX) obviously still values his opinons or thoughts on things.. and perhaps she doesn't call him when her BF is there because he feels the same way you do about her still speaking to her EXH. How do you know none of the calls are about thier Kids? LOL you don't listen to every word thats being said do you? Don't get mad about me asking that okay? LOL I don't mean it in a bad way.. just saying that you can't be right there listening to every word and IF you are.. then yeah.. it might be paranoid. IMO even if there is a hidden agenda on HER PART as long as there isn't one on HIS (Your BF) Then good to go.
Author Maria46 Posted March 15, 2005 Author Posted March 15, 2005 Yes, it's ok for asking, but no, I don't hear the conversations. He just tells me what she has called about "this time". And then he says, "what is wrong with her"? From what he has told me, he doesn't give her advice, only tells her he is busy and needs to get off the phone. He does cut conversations short with her. He wants her to get a "clue" without coming right out and saying that he doesn't want her to call. When she called the other day, she say "we are coming to (where we live) and couldn't get reservations at this one hotel and wanted to know of another suggestion. Come on now...... A million travel agents in the states and she calls Mexico... It just bothers me that he doesn't just say, "don't be calling me about stuff".
Merin Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by Maria46 He wants her to get a "clue" without coming right out and saying that he doesn't want her to call. It just bothers me that he doesn't just say, "don't be calling me about stuff". Exactly... HE needs to tell her straight up. IF HE doesn't want her calling about things that don't relate to the kids... he needs to tell her this. My guess is this... he doesn't tell her because he doesn't want to rock the boat so to speak... he is trying to maintain friendly waters know what I mean? So yeah... again as long as he's on the same page as you are with your relationship... good to go.
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