Jackson37 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Hey guys long time lurker but first post so here goes. I'll spare most of the details and keep it simple. My ex and I dated for 2 years, she broke up with me about a year ago last novemeber because she was having some emotional issues. She started dating someone new come February and I also started dating someone new around the same time. For me I think it was a rebound and I ended up breaking up with my new girl in September while she seems to be going strong with her new guy. We have been in contact throughout all of this through Facebook (a message every few days or so back and forth). I recently told her I needed to stop because it was too much on me especially since I was single now. She responded back basically agreeing with a huge essay also saying how she'll always love me, she still isn't over me, thinks about me all the time, etc....but she is still with her new guy and doesn't want to break up with him. I think if she truly loved me like she said she does then she would be with me instead of that guy, right? I didn't tell her this though, instead I basically wished her the best and reminded her that she used to mean a lot to me too. We ended on that good note and probably won't be speaking again for months, years or ever again. I really want to ask if she loves me that much then why is she with him but I feel like it may make me look weak. I just have a hard time understanding why she's still with him if she feels so strongly about me. Did I do this correctly? Is there anything else I can do at this point except wait and move on? Thanks so much
Mandalorian Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 You did the right thing in my eyes (unlike me ) Just move on and keep no contact and as hard as it is, just drop off the face of the earth with regards to her. My ex said similar and when I mentioned it to her she just shrugged her shoulders and couldn't answer firstly I think because she didn't like me pointing it out how she was saying one thing but doing something completely against that (she was the more dominant of the two of us), but also because she just didn't have a clue. She may have loved you in her own way, but that wasn't enough for her and it wasn't in the way that you deserve.
Author Jackson37 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 You did the right thing in my eyes (unlike me ) Just move on and keep no contact and as hard as it is, just drop off the face of the earth with regards to her. My ex said similar and when I mentioned it to her she just shrugged her shoulders and couldn't answer firstly I think because she didn't like me pointing it out how she was saying one thing but doing something completely against that (she was the more dominant of the two of us), but also because she just didn't have a clue. She may have loved you in her own way, but that wasn't enough for her and it wasn't in the way that you deserve. Thanks for your reply, its always good to hear about a similar experience from another's perspective. How long ago was this for you? How are you standing right now in terms of this if you don't mind me asking? Its weird because I feel like we shared this deep connection and I fail to believe she has this type of connection with the new guy. I think she's with him because its easier for her at this point. Its just hard to know that this was the last time we'll talk and that I must now move on for good. I always had hope for reconciling in the future but it seems that this is it for us. I just want to learn to love again but finding someone who fits me as well as she did may prove challenging. Good luck to us both
ScienceGal Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I do not understand why people do this. If she is with someone, she should be with him and not giving you what are referred to as breadcrumbs. She's putting out teasers to see where your emotions are. Perhaps she isn't getting some need met, or she bored with the new guy. Whatever the reason, her behavior is not indicative of someone who wants to be with you. Bottom line, she did not say she is leaving him; in fact, she said she is NOT leaving him. Stop messaging her.
Author Jackson37 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 I do not understand why people do this. If she is with someone, she should be with him and not giving you what are referred to as breadcrumbs. She's putting out teasers to see where your emotions are. Perhaps she isn't getting some need met, or she bored with the new guy. Whatever the reason, her behavior is not indicative of someone who wants to be with you. Bottom line, she did not say she is leaving him; in fact, she said she is NOT leaving him. Stop messaging her. Thanks for the advice ScienceGal (funny how when I'm trying to move on things keep popping up to remind me of her, she was also a science gal hahaha) I could say I've been eating those breadcrumbs for almost a year since we broke up because she kept giving me hope for reconciling and saying things like that. That was my last message to her. I was the one who said that we needed to stop and this time I don't think there will be anymore contact since I feel she is "waiting on me to be ready to be friends one day" which I can tell you now is not going to happen lol I realize she does not want to be with me but I suppose its her words that confuse me. Maybe she doesn't feel that strongly about me and she only typed that out to get that emotional response from me. Oh well. If she needed validation that I'm still into her I'm sure she got it. Sucks to feel like I've been used and feel like I'm her backup plan but she has a lot of emotional issues (severe depression, anxiety, etc) so at least this will help make it easier on her. I can handle the extra work Everyone on here seems to have their own story so I hope you are doing well on your journey as well!
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