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AWESOME first date!!!! Now what??

KeepCalmCarryOn

By KeepCalmCarryOn
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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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SO I met this guy on POF (before I deleted it) and he was super cute and blah blah he has a 5 year old, no drama with his kids mom and he works a good job. We met last night and had a really great date, lots of flowing conversation. It was a really good date, I am very interested in him. He made comments about us going out again. After the date he texted me to tell me he was home, and I thanked him again. So I don't want to be too clingy, so how long should I wait to text him? I am really hoping this goes somewhere he seemed like a really good guy. :D

avintagegirl Established Member

avintagegirl

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I'd give it a couple of days - what's the rush? If it is meant to be with this fellow you have plenty of time.

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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I'd give it a couple of days - what's the rush? If it is meant to be with this fellow you have plenty of time.

 

Ok, you don't think he will think I am uninterested do you?

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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I'm sure you told him something like "thanks for tonight! I'd love to do it again!" if so ball is in his court.

 

btw, why do all the guys you date already have kids? do you live in a small town? you are way too young for all these dudes to already have kids.

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Andy_K Established Member

Andy_K

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There's nothing wrong with dating guys who already have kids!

:p

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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I'm sure you told him something like "thanks for tonight! I'd love to do it again!" if so ball is in his court.

 

btw, why do all the guys you date already have kids? do you live in a small town? you are way too young for all these dudes to already have kids.

 

I purposely pick guys with kids. I just like the already established family. I also think it is super cute when guys are good with kids.

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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Ok I'm getting anxious maybe I should text him tonight? Maybe tomorrow morning??

avintagegirl Established Member

avintagegirl

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I know its hard, but just stop. Seriously, just go for a walk or a run or clean the kitchen. You are wound up and have energy to burn, lol.

 

 

You don't need to contact him tonight -time is a good thing right now.

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melodymatters Established Member

melodymatters

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Read your own screen name. Over and over.

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FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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If he's already mentioned going out again, see if he follows through. If not, he was just being polite. If he has a kid, his options with women are somewhat limited which increases your chances.

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Assasda Established Member

Assasda

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SO I met this guy on POF (before I deleted it) and he was super cute and blah blah he has a 5 year old, no drama with his kids mom and he works a good job. We met last night and had a really great date, lots of flowing conversation. It was a really good date, I am very interested in him. He made comments about us going out again. After the date he texted me to tell me he was home, and I thanked him again. So I don't want to be too clingy, so how long should I wait to text him? I am really hoping this goes somewhere he seemed like a really good guy. :D

 

I personally dont think it matters when you text him.

Remember though. You dont know this guy yet. You're just inflatuated right now. Come down to earth and let the guy be human in your mind

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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Tomorrow I am texting him. :D

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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I purposely pick guys with kids. I just like the already established family. I also think it is super cute when guys are good with kids.

 

Yeah, and they also come with "exes"....:confused:

 

Sorry, but I don't get excited when I see a guy with kids - cuz it usually means he has an ex - who might get jealous; he might be divorced; and/or he wasn't responsible enough to use protection.

 

Either way, doesn't get me excited.

 

I mean, on OLD I've talked to guys with kids - but I didn't get far. I just don't see myself raising someone else's kids (if I wanted kids, I'd have my own)...and, yeah, I think some of them are looking for a maid and/or nanny.

 

Then, "if", "if" it does work out, if you get preggo for him - his kid outside or your RL will start feeling sad cuz it's different when you see your parent working it out with a stranger - instead of your original mommy/daddy. You know, the whole "step parent/kid/exes" drama.

 

For me, people with kids I'd pretty much just have hamburgers with on a weekend...I don't want to get involved with the drama and/or cause the kids more heartache.

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Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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There's nothing wrong with dating guys who already have kids!

:p

 

 

You are right..I have a KID (1) half the time. Previously, I was married to a woman who had a daughter all the time. Would I do that again or advice anybody to? H3ll NO. A flag should always go up when someone has their kids all the time, and besides it puts a strain on relationships because the kids are always there and everything will revolve around them.

 

I personally will not date women with girls....it's like 2x, 3x, 4x the drama, and there is a tendency for "besties" situation to happen. If it's a son, you are more likely to be allowed to be involved because it's a boy.

 

Again...I won't date a woman who has there kids all the time regardless if it's sons or daughters. I also don't want to fall into the potential child support trap because a woman can double or triple dip.

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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Yeah, and they also come with "exes"....:confused:

 

Sorry, but I don't get excited when I see a guy with kids - cuz it usually means he has an ex - who might get jealous; he might be divorced; and/or he wasn't responsible enough to use protection.

 

Either way, doesn't get me excited.

 

I mean, on OLD I've talked to guys with kids - but I didn't get far. I just don't see myself raising someone else's kids (if I wanted kids, I'd have my own)...and, yeah, I think some of them are looking for a maid and/or nanny.

 

Then, "if", "if" it does work out, if you get preggo for him - his kid outside or your RL will start feeling sad cuz it's different when you see your parent working it out with a stranger - instead of your original mommy/daddy. You know, the whole "step parent/kid/exes" drama.

 

For me, people with kids I'd pretty much just have hamburgers with on a weekend...I don't want to get involved with the drama and/or cause the kids more heartache.

 

His kid's mom is engaged so no drama from her. I just like an instant family. i want babies soon and so someone who has them shows a few things 1) they are fertile and I like that, 2) they sometimes don't make great decisions (like unprotected sex) and that is ok too I assume if we are dating, 3) They are good with kids and I love kids.

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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Yeah, and they also come with "exes"....:confused:

 

Sorry, but I don't get excited when I see a guy with kids - cuz it usually means he has an ex - who might get jealous; he might be divorced; and/or he wasn't responsible enough to use protection.

 

Either way, doesn't get me excited.

 

I mean, on OLD I've talked to guys with kids - but I didn't get far. I just don't see myself raising someone else's kids (if I wanted kids, I'd have my own)...and, yeah, I think some of them are looking for a maid and/or nanny.

 

Then, "if", "if" it does work out, if you get preggo for him - his kid outside or your RL will start feeling sad cuz it's different when you see your parent working it out with a stranger - instead of your original mommy/daddy. You know, the whole "step parent/kid/exes" drama.

 

For me, people with kids I'd pretty much just have hamburgers with on a weekend...I don't want to get involved with the drama and/or cause the kids more heartache.

 

I respect that, and can understand why yo feel that way. I also can not get involve with someone that wants kids because that window has closed for me i.e. I took care of it a while back. I am happy with my son that I have half the time.

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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I respect that, and can understand why yo feel that way. I also can not get involve with someone that wants kids because that window has closed for me i.e. I took care of it a while back. I am happy with my son that I have half the time.

 

I met a guy a few weeks ago who had 2 kids and had a vasectomy after those 2 and I couldn't continue to talk to him after I found out, it would be pointless.

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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I met a guy a few weeks ago who had 2 kids and had a vasectomy after those 2 and I couldn't continue to talk to him after I found out, it would be pointless.

 

I can assure that I don't go round telling my dates, especially if the discussion of kids doesn't come up.

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

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His kid's mom is engaged so no drama from her. I just like an instant family. i want babies soon and so someone who has them shows a few things 1) they are fertile and I like that, 2) they sometimes don't make great decisions (like unprotected sex) and that is ok too I assume if we are dating, 3) They are good with kids and I love kids.

 

Why would a guy who makes bad decisions be good for you?

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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I can assure that I don't go round telling my dates, especially if the discussion of kids doesn't come up.

 

Yeah it was random. I didn't ask or anything. I'm glad he told me though. Then he mentioned having frozen sperm so if he met someone who wanted kids he could have them. The vasectomy thing on top of him just wanting to hook up at 32 was like the reason I didn't bother even going out with him.

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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Why would a guy who makes bad decisions be good for you?

 

Making bad sexual decisions like having unprotected sex is good for me because then they would get me pregnant and if we are in a relationship and have a surprise baby it's totally ok

Andy_K Established Member

Andy_K

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Making bad sexual decisions like having unprotected sex is good for me because then they would get me pregnant and if we are in a relationship and have a surprise baby it's totally ok

 

Yikes.

 

That's a dangerous way to think. Be careful...

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CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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Making bad sexual decisions like having unprotected sex is good for me because then they would get me pregnant and if we are in a relationship and have a surprise baby it's totally ok

 

You have no concept how mis-guided this sort of thinking is...

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KeepCalmCarryOn Established Member

KeepCalmCarryOn

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Yikes.

 

That's a dangerous way to think. Be careful...

 

Don't get me wrong I am not out having unprotected sex with like everyone lol

Mrin Established Member

Mrin

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Making bad sexual decisions like having unprotected sex is good for me because then they would get me pregnant and if we are in a relationship and have a surprise baby it's totally ok

 

This scares the Hell out of me.

 

As a father of two planned children, a business owner and someone who was married to their mother for the first 7 and 9 years of their lives - I can't tell you how this sort of thinking makes me shudder. Kids are hard. So very very very hard. Even with good and steady income, two planned pregnancies, two people in the house and very involved in the raising of the kids, I have to tell you - it was the hardest thing I've ever done and still to this day is a challenge. I can't even imagine how hard it would have been flying solo or without a committed co-parent.

Edited by Mrin
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