mortensorchid Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Tonight was the big Halloween bash that I'd been looking forward to all year. Quite unexpectedly, I get a tap on the shoulder, turn around and see this man who I had not seen or talked to since May. For more information on it, see this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/478431-i-used-think-now-i-know Essentially, he and I were together for about 5/6 months of this year. Communication started to get strange until eventually it just slowed to a crawl and then just stopped completely. I decided he and I were just done, it wasn't meant to be. After no contact or communication for about 5/6 months, here he appears. I was happy to see him as we had not spoken or seen each other in so long, and he did approach me after all. Since we were at a loud, crowded party, it wasn't the best place to actually talk about things, but we chatted for a bit. I asked what he'd been doing for the last 6 months or so, he said "I've been busy". Of this I agree, certainly. When I was saying at my good-byes, he said I should come and see his house soon (he brought a new house on the east side). I said sure, give me a call. Like I said before, we're done. I think we were coming up on the six month marker and he didn't want to take it to the next level which is why the communication sputtered out. He was a good man, to me at least. Not great, but good. It just wasn't meant to be.
BluEyeL Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I'm sorry this didn't work out. I read the other threads and he indeed wasn't acting like he was "in it". I've been with men like that before and now that I'm with someone who is interested, it's a huge difference. Now I know how it should be. You probably know too. I would suggest going no contact, not visiting him. No good can come out of it, you'll just keep him around in your head with no hope of anything. Just release him and look into the future, that's where your future mate is. It is true, if a man doesn't really act interested, he isn't. Yes, you should reciprocate, but that's the keyword, reciprocate. When he shows strong interest, you do as well. But when he shows lukewarm interest, it's unbalanced for you to show more. I've been with my BF for 4 months now and we saw each other 4 times this week. The contact increased not decreased. That how it should be. We started with seeing each other 1x/week, and then increased to 2x, then 3x. Probably 4x will not be sustainable, but it's ok from time to time. Things should get more, not less intense is what I'm saying. If by month three he doesn't act he wants to be in it, time to cut bait. You should really mentally move on completely, find the one who will think he's lucky to have you and will want you in his life, and care.
FitChick Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 Ask him if he has any single friends he can fix you up with. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted November 3, 2014 Author Posted November 3, 2014 Just to be clear, I have no intention of seeing him again. I've moved on but I said that he is a good man that I had a past with. Not great but good, we're done.
Author mortensorchid Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 He did call me last night and we had a talk, he confirmed what I had thought. He said that he pulled away because he was afraid, just bought this house on the other side of town and he now had buyer's remorse because he is so far away from everyone and everything, and that he was settling things with the ex wife (who has now taken off and moved to another country permanently - see the threads for more information on that odd story). He said he wanted to see me again. He apologized he said it was cowardly on his part to do what he did, I said I agreed with that. He also asked to see me again, but I said no. We're done. I did the right thing. 2
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