cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 (edited) Hi everyone, new to this as I have a question for you all. The situation started a week ago on a Saturday night. In a bar, got talking to a girl, we hit it off, within minutes kissing each other. Going great I thought! She even made me take her number and made me put mine in her phone. She was all over me and I couldn't get enough of it to be honest! She had to leave and I sent her a text before I headed home for the night myself. As much as I wanted to hear back from her I was half expecting her to be a flake and blame the previous night on the drink. She went abroad on Sunday for a week but we sent a few messages on Sunday and the Monday, she wanted to meet up when she was back, all seemed great again! And then the messages just stopped on Tuesday. Nothing. I sent a message on Tuesday, no reply. Thought fair enough, probably busy, I'll leave it today. Wednesday sent a couple of words to grab her attention, still nothing. So on Thursday I messaged her saying the ball is in her court now, if she still wants to meet up to text me and I've left it at that. Not sure where to go from here now. I will at least wait for her to get back into the country but if she still hasn't replies is there anyway of getting her back? I just don't understand how a girl who was so into me one minute, wanting to meet up again and all that can suddenly not be, seemingly, interested!! Any help would be much appreciated! Edited November 2, 2014 by cessna
CoolCat771 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 She went back to the boyfriend bro. You chased too hard and messed it up. Straight. 1
CarrieT Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 She went back to the boyfriend That's the first thing that came to my mind as well...
IronZ Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I just don't understand how a girl who was so into me one minute, wanting to meet up again and all that can suddenly not be, seemingly, interested!! Literally the same thing happened to me a couple weeks ago. Met a girl who was REALLY into me. We talked nonstop all the time, we made tons of plans. A few days before we were supposed to meet up she disappeared completely. I finally sent her a goodbye message about how messed up it was what she did and she replied with a half-assed apology and then I never heard from her again. I guess I got my answer then. Point is it's possible she was really into you at the moment, but once she had some time away from you realized she didn't want to progress any further. It really is messed up that some women can't just be considerate enough to tell the guy they're not interested anymore, instead they play the disappearing game. Don't text her back anymore. If she comes back into the country and you don't hear from her, assume she moved on.
Tik Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 You send the one message to get in touch and THAT is the last message you send. She either gets back to you if she's interested and if she doesn't you don't care because your life is busy enough, you've got as a good a social life and enough woman friends or 'friends' to keep you good. You blew it and lost your frame and she got to see how needy you are by the continual texting. Move on my good man and only reply and get to it if she replies. 1
Author cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 I know, it's ****ed up how they're so into one minute and then nothing... i's rather a girl just say I'm not interested, at least I would know where I stand and could move on! So is there anything I can at least try to get her attention again? Maybe a cheeky/funny message reminding her of how good last week was?...
Author cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 I'm still looking for other girls, always was even I met this girl last week. Trying to get this one girl out of my head is a little harder though!
CoolCat771 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I'm still looking for other girls, always was even I met this girl last week. Trying to get this one girl out of my head is a little harder though! I do feel for you man. The club isn't the best place to meet a girl that'll stick around. It's completely unreliable. You're lucky you even got what you did from her.
Author cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 I do feel for you man. The club isn't the best place to meet a girl that'll stick around. It's completely unreliable. You're lucky you even got what you did from her. I agree, wasn't even out looking for anything like that. Was with a few mates for a birthday and there she was. She even initiated the talking, we both lent in for the first kiss, and then she made sure I had her number. She wouldn't leave and in fact after her friends pulled her out to go home she came back twice on her own to see me... I know she was away for a week so she'll be getting back into the country sometime today or tomorrow I assume. I even text her that she had to promise me one thing when she got back and that was to remind me of those kisses. Her answer to that was of course... So I'm at a loss as to what's happened! Haha
avintagegirl Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I'd leave it be, you've left messages, you did your part. As far as it goes, there could be any number of reasons she didn't respond - everything from another man, to no cell service, to she is really busy or maybe she forgot her phone charger. No matter what though, you've done what you can do. It stinks, but I'm sure it's best to move on.
Dallers Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 (edited) Never chase at the beginning, once things have progressed you can send follow up messages and push and pull but to begin with she is testing you and you failed those tests. You followed up three times... This is straight forward dating rules. As soon as you appear clingy or needy then it is game over. 99% of the time with any girl. You do not chase. Value is so important because she wants a man that acts like a man. Not a needy boy and so you need to make her believe that you are the prize and that you have a life and do not need her. You make her chase you by showing these qualities and not put her on a pedestal. Read this article and understand why chasing never works: Falling For The Game And Not The Girl: Why You Should Never Chase A Woman Edited November 2, 2014 by Dallers
Author cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Never chase at the beginning, once things have progressed you can send follow up messages and push and pull but to begin with she is testing you and you failed those tests. You followed up three times... This is straight forward dating rules. As soon as you appear clingy or needy then it is game over. 99% of the time with any girl. You do not chase. Value is so important because she wants a man that acts like a man. Not a needy boy and so you need to make her believe that you are the prize and that you have a life and do not need her. You make her chase you by showing these qualities and not put her on a pedestal. Read this article and understand why chasing never works: Falling For The Game And Not The Girl: Why You Should Never Chase A Woman I agree with that. Never played by any rules though really, I just do things as I feel, which I know for you guys might seem strange. Another thing is that it is her birthday in a few weeks and before the contact stopped she wanted me to come to her party. Can I use that to my advantage by sending her a message on her birthday telling her something like she needs to see me for a birthday kiss? Would that be weird?
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I agree with that. Never played by any rules though really, I just do things as I feel, which I know for you guys might seem strange. Another thing is that it is her birthday in a few weeks and before the contact stopped she wanted me to come to her party. Can I use that to my advantage by sending her a message on her birthday telling her something like she needs to see me for a birthday kiss? Would that be weird? Yes, that would be very weird, and she would block your number if she hasn't already. The ball is in her court. If she becomes interested again, she'll reach out, but if you keep bugging her you're going to push her away even more.
Author cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Yes, that would be very weird, and she would block your number if she hasn't already. The ball is in her court. If she becomes interested again, she'll reach out, but if you keep bugging her you're going to push her away even more. Okay, so no more contact from my part whatsoever?
CoolCat771 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I agree with that. Never played by any rules though really, I just do things as I feel, which I know for you guys might seem strange. Another thing is that it is her birthday in a few weeks and before the contact stopped she wanted me to come to her party. Can I use that to my advantage by sending her a message on her birthday telling her something like she needs to see me for a birthday kiss? Would that be weird? Let the girl come to you bro. Be strong man. Enough.
Author cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Let the girl come to you bro. Be strong man. Enough. I appreciate the advice people, honestly, thanks! I won't contact her again unless she contacts me. Out of curiosity is there any realistic chance she'll be back in contact?
CoolCat771 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 I appreciate the advice people, honestly, thanks! I won't contact her again unless she contacts me. Out of curiosity is there any realistic chance she'll be back in contact? From what you've described; I'd give it about an 8-11% chance. The over-texting did you in. You've been cycled to the bottom of the list.
Author cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 There's always a chance but you only met her once? If so I'd say it might be dead in the water, but then who knows? I met a girl in a bar once who invited me back to hers after, I declined and said I'd get back to her via text but when I was meant to text her I met someone else. I had a really good social life at that point. The trick is to improve your lifestyle - something I'm trying to do at the mo. It's tough but you have to do it. You'll get over it man but attractive girls always have 5 or 6 guys their considering so you have to be one that has sh7t going on. Yeah, it's easy to think that you're the only guy texting her. Obviously I'm not so next time I'll have to think things through a bit more rather than just jumping in!
IronZ Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Okay, so no more contact from my part whatsoever? Correct my good sir. At least wait until she gets back in the country for a few days. If she still doesn't contact you then it's a lost cause and you move on. Don't send her any more texts.
Author cessna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Correct my good sir. At least wait until she gets back in the country for a few days. If she still doesn't contact you then it's a lost cause and you move on. Don't send her any more texts. The It's Not Your Fault Technique - What do you make of this? Worth a shot? Another question, not being familiar with the world of 'pick up' in any way what is the reason for cutting all contact in this situation? One could argue that if you cut all contact you'll never see the girl again so why not give it a go and if it fails well you lost nothing... I ask that purely out of curiosity. Is it more of a case of knowing when to stop and leave with your head held high?
GemmaUK Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 If I got a message and was busy so didn't reply (eg I was away on a trip) then any more messages on top of that would make me think twice and I would likely not reply at all. I would not date him even if I had been interested when we met. If he sent a load of messages I would just block him. 1
sid3 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Too many texts shows desperation and neediness. If you're thinking further texting will get a reply, I'd say its doubtful. Unless she lost her phone, she's aware of your previous efforts.
Tayken Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Let the girl come to you bro. Be strong man. Enough. +100000000000000000 to what this person said. Right now she has the upper hand and has got you spinning.
IronZ Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 The It's Not Your Fault Technique - What do you make of this? Worth a shot? Another question, not being familiar with the world of 'pick up' in any way what is the reason for cutting all contact in this situation? One could argue that if you cut all contact you'll never see the girl again so why not give it a go and if it fails well you lost nothing... I ask that purely out of curiosity. Is it more of a case of knowing when to stop and leave with your head held high? The way that guy texts girls is soooo lame seriously. It's true if some time passes by and it gets a little awkward for her to just reappear out of the blue, you can text something random to alleviate the stress and tension, but you kind of lost that opportunity by texting her continually. The ball really is in her court now. Allow some time to pass and just wait it out. If she doesn't get back to you then you may as well move on.
curlygirl40 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Isn't she still 'abroad'. (Yes I know she's still a broad, o.k sorry couldn't help that one) Isn't there a chance something is wrong with her phone while she's away? She didn't get the texts as you sent them or at all? I agree now that you've texted her like 3 times you should wait to text or never again. Play it out this way: She never got those texts. In this case if she's interested she will still most likely text you when she gets back to let you know she's back. She got them all at the same time because of some glitch with her phone and now thinks it's a bit stalkerish or needy and has backed off. Nothing you can do about that her mind is made up most likely. Nothing that you texting her now can fix. She is not all that into you anymore. She has met someone else or back with a boyfriend and is now ignoring you. She's busy on her trip and plans to get back to you when she gets back. There's really nothing to do but wait it out. If you send any more texts the ONLY way that works in your favor is if she happened to not get any of the other ones you sent. Good luck
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