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Is it ever ok to not respond when upset


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Posted (edited)

A person I'm seeing just said "are you gonna be mad if I don't come tonight?" - supposed to come over and hang out. The answer is yes, because this person waited til the last minute to cancel AND this has happened before. I would just assume no interest, but other times I get serious messages of interest like him flat out saying he wants to date me and likes me. Also frequently intiates contact.

 

Anyway. Friend says to play it cool, just say no, no big deal but that is being phony & I just can't. I don't want to talk about my feelings about the mixed messages via text. I want to just not respond- that'll speak for itself. Is this a huge mistake?

Edited by lissvarna
Posted

No it's fine. Flakers deserve no respect whatsoever.

Posted

OP,

 

This person is a flaker and does deserve to be ignored. Treat them like they do you. I know how you feel people have flaked on me.

Posted

Tell him yes, you'll be mad, and that your time is valuable

Posted

I would move on from him altogether. When words and actions don't match, I move on and flaking in my book is a huge no no.

Posted

I would just say "yes" and see what their reaction is.

 

Being "cool" and "go with the flow" doesn't usually turn out very well in the long run.

Posted

I play on the lines of indifference. No need for a wordy reply; simply 'all good' 'not fussed'.There's no point I see in getting upset and saying or doing something you'd regret (trust me the amount of times I've done it) only for you down the track to wish you had not or have it come back to bite you. Don't give them the satisfaction of getting to you. You are your own! Look on the bright side, you've now got a night off; call out the girls and randomly head out and you never know you might meet someone new! Or open a bottle of red, a tub of ice cream and relax as we all know the world these days is a fast paced blur.

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Posted

I think I am going to try to just move on. I'm recently out of a relationship full of games and I can't take that from anyone else right now.

 

And thank you. I agree that flakers don't really deserve a response. The answer to that question is obvious & there's no point in me saying it. might just start an argument and that's more attention than this person deserves IMO. Waiting til the last second to cancel is the worst.

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