Female dumpers that dumped because bf caused too much heart break....

[tikay00]

What goes on in your mind before, during, and post dumping? Also, what do you want your ex to do? Happy to not hear from him again, or do you want him to show you change, or at least try to show you change? And do you feel like they don't care once they go NC, and haven't heard from them in a while? What's your time limit on when you'd accept him to try again, IF you're a dumper that wants her man to change. Let's say he goes 3 months NC, is that the point where you're completely detached, and moved on?

Edited November 1, 2014 by tikay00

[preraph]

If I do the dumping, I don't want them back. Now, one was a good friend first and it's too bad we could never just go back to that (not my fault), but wanting them back, no. Usually breakups are a little more mutual than totally one-sided.

 

If you've done something heinous, cheated, drinking too much, doing drugs, abuse, I'd hope you got treatment. If it was mental or physical abuse, I'd never take you back or want to hear from you again; or if I did, it would be to warn every future woman about it. If it was out of control substance abuse, I'd want you clean two years and of the mindset you would be clean forever. If it was cheating, you'd have to be transparent and give me all your passwords and let me check on you all I wanted for two years and then I'd try to get trust back. Easier said than done. And meanwhile, in two years, when I was younger, I wouldn't have waited for you. I'd probably just have moved on and hoped you got your crap together.

 

If she's ever said not to contact her again, you should not ever contact her again.

[tikay00]

If I do the dumping, I don't want them back. Now, one was a good friend first and it's too bad we could never just go back to that (not my fault), but wanting them back, no. Usually breakups are a little more mutual than totally one-sided.

 

If you've done something heinous, cheated, drinking too much, doing drugs, abuse, I'd hope you got treatment. If it was mental or physical abuse, I'd never take you back or want to hear from you again; or if I did, it would be to warn every future woman about it. If it was out of control substance abuse, I'd want you clean two years and of the mindset you would be clean forever. If it was cheating, you'd have to be transparent and give me all your passwords and let me check on you all I wanted for two years and then I'd try to get trust back. Easier said than done. And meanwhile, in two years, when I was younger, I wouldn't have waited for you. I'd probably just have moved on and hoped you got your crap together.

 

If she's ever said not to contact her again, you should not ever contact her again.

 

None of that. Just arguing, taking her for granted. In the beginning, wasn't feeling it, and broke up with her, but took her back same night. She didn't beg. I realized I was acting irrationanal. Before that, I checked out, and she got the hint, and said we should be friends. Was mutual, but really, she knew I wasn't in it anymore. 2 weeks later I call, and tell her we should give it another try. We get back.

 

Before the breakup, it was more of me being annoyed at her for being her quiet self on the phone, and would snap at her about wanting to always talk at night, because I was the one that would do most of the talking. Used bogus excuses not to, and was super passive aggressive. Also, instead of saying, "love you babe, goodbye.". I'd say " peace out.". That really pissed her off.

 

Never told me not to contact her. At this point I'm doing NC, so I don't do or say anything stupid while I'm emotional, and in contact with her.

[BC1980]

None of that. Just arguing, taking her for granted. In the beginning, wasn't feeling it, and broke up with her, but took her back same night. She didn't beg. I realized I was acting irrationanal. Before that, I checked out, and she got the hint, and said we should be friends. Was mutual, but really, she knew I wasn't in it anymore. 2 weeks later I call, and tell her we should give it another try. We get back.

 

Before the breakup, it was more of me being annoyed at her for being her quiet self on the phone, and would snap at her about wanting to always talk at night, because I was the one that would do most of the talking. Used bogus excuses not to, and was super passive aggressive. Also, instead of saying, "love you babe, goodbye.". I'd say " peace out.". That really pissed her off.

 

Never told me not to contact her. At this point I'm doing NC, so I don't do or say anything stupid while I'm emotional, and in contact with her.

 

You're pretty much done after reading that. You've already broken up twice, and you had other issues. She's likely totally done with you, fed up with it. That's usually how it is when you dump someone. You've waited long enough for them to change.