Rainoflight Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 (edited) Diary entry two: (here is the full thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/487312-living-heaven-getting-ready-hell-2.html#post5859883) The sea was angry that day, my friends, Joking aside, we are four months in and things are ... weird enough, ok. The start was awful and i will not want anyone to feel what i felt in those two days, but then, little by little, thing started having a schedule. As time passed, i learned that i made the right decision, she is a good person, however, after almost four months, she has things that annoy the hell out of me. I will try to talk first about the good things in this relashionship: the good: well, we talk daily, whatssap, viber, facetime, skype, you name it. There was not a day when she was not around to talk too and if she is busy, at her first glimps online, she will text or call me. We communicate a lot, so on that level, all things are good. She talks with me about her day there what she has to do and so on. She finally told me about her feelings, she told me that she loves me and so on. So, after the doubts i had at first, finally i realised that she loves me and she wants me, she really is into me. So, it was no honeymoon effect, it was actually love what we feel and we kinda have a plan. If this still works untill next summer, one of us will move and we will be together. A decision that we will have to make (if this works, i repeat) based on a lot of factors that will influence our future. the bad: (i will talk more about this) First of all, i am a needy person when it comes to love. My state of mind depinds of the relashionship i have at the moment with the SO. I know that is absurd sometimes, but i really try to work with it and some moments i know i exagerate with it. So, the bad. Well, she still somehow talks with her ex. She asked him to help her with some bills to translate and so on. I understant that, i understand that she told me from the start this will happen, but i still have to dislike that, basically because he was the reason she wanted to move in the first place, but as i told above, they did not work so he stopped it. My problem is that he will move three blocks from her place. Even if i am certain that nothing will happen, i am so annoyed that from all Amsterdam, near her is the only place he can move. I know that i might be paranoic with this, but looks like a bad love movie script. Then, i hate that she seems so egocentric so far, when we fight, like well known joke in men vs women, i end up apologizing, even if it is her fault. She refuses to understand when she is impossible. When she is sick or nervous and i try to confort her, she ends up throwing all her frustrations in my directions, but when it is the other way around, she does not move a finger for me (again, i knew this, she told me when we met and talked about our flaws). Another thing that i dislike is that she did not think this move through. She had a master degree here and a good experience in the field, but she failed to find a job because of the birocracy here. Well, she is there, she is spending all her money and has problems even trying to find a job as a clerk. I am somehow annoyed by the fact that even if i am proud of how she is working to become better, she is having a bad time there, well not bad, but not great either, instead of trying here where we have 2 appartments where we could had lived. She even considered to apply for a loan in a foreign country with no job. Imagine that. And the last thing, even if i have full trust in her, i really dislike that she is the type of girlfriend/boyfriend that likes to go to every reunion after school, to every beer with colegues and leave almost the last one, because she needs this thing for people not to ignore her, not to be considered the lone wolf of the class and she overtries it. I give her all the freedom in the world and all this freedom will be there, if she respects the monogamy of our relashionship, but sometimes she drives me crazy with this. This is my rant. We are ok, but there are things that i really dislike about her that sometimes are overwhealming. Edited November 1, 2014 by Rainoflight
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