My Cancer ex?! What the........??!!

[megsheaven]

I have had a recent break up with my cancer ex and I'd like to share it with you.

I am a Capricorn and he is a Cancer. I have known him for years (just as a customer who came into the shop where I work). We got together, which I believed was fate at the time (yeah silly me). It took a lot for me to go on that first date as I had been single for 12 years and was very happy on my own, but I took a chance as I liked him and thought it would be fun.

Anyway, our first date was amazing! We were polar opposites but had such a fun night, laughing and getting to know each other. He told me he was in two previous relationships and had two children, I was totally fine with that, and he told me all about his 2 exes, which on a first date I thought was a little strange but I had been out of the dating game for a long time so wasn't one to judge, plus we all have a past right? Okay, so that first night he walked me home, which was lovely until, his first ex (the mother of his 2 kids) called AND he answered! I wasn't too bothered at the time as I was on a first date high, but now when I look back it should have been a sign of things to come.

So over the next couple of weeks he treated me like a princess, he text me every day, I met his kids and his whole family, and he met my family. Now this is where things get weird, he told me a few weeks down the line that he had been in love with me for 10 years, which is always amazing to hear that someone is in love with you, BUT during that time he was in his second relationship, which lasted 7 years. Alarm bell? He also told my family, friends, anyone he met really that I was the girl he was going to marry. Also on one of our many dates he upset me, he got a little too strange and said something about me being too nervous on our dates, now being a Capricorn we do not like our character poked at any way, I know it might seem silly but he had genuine cruelty in his eyes and I thought is this who he really is? Anyway he grovelled a bit and we made up, but it was still on my mind and the very next day he sent me a HUGE bunch of flowers, but to me that wasn't a genuine show of affection, it was a gift of guilt, it felt like a bribe.

Anyway we got back on track, and the gifts appeared every few weeks that he messed up but I stayed with him because he was so lovely, I say lovely not loving, he showed love with gifts but not affection, he was hurt by his 2 exes in the past, they both cheated on him numerous times and beat him up. Any time I tried to reach out to him, touch him or hold him he would shudder as if he was afraid of me. I know that many Capricorns don't show much affection but I was falling for this guy, I wanted to snuggle into him, love him.

So month 3 into our relationship we went on holiday, had a fabulous time but we were like 2 friends, not lovers, there was no affection at all. So I started pulling away a little, we Caps HATE rejection.

Now at this point we are still texting each other every day, he sends me love poems and the gifts still come too, BUT he starts to pull away from me at the weekends, during the week he is the faithful, loving boyfriend but come the weekend, he goes out with his friends and I hear nothing from him, that's from Friday to Monday, not a word. So I make it clear when I hear from him again that he has to make a choice, I never stopped him going out with his friends, but it hurt, as I wasn't sure what the hell he was getting up to. So I told him that he was happy to be in a relationship but still acted as though he was single, so if he wanted to be single then he had to choose. I know this made him feel awful and I told him not to contact me for a few days as I needed to think about things too. Anyway all was well a few days later, well so I thought, he seemed to change so quickly from this lovely, caring guy into a moody, shut off person. So I went through the motions for a few months as I don't like to just give up on things, but it all just got worse, his dark moods and constant talk of his exes was too much for me and I broke it off.

We tried to remain friends, it lasted for a good few weeks, he told me during that time that I had become his best friend. We met up every week and it was good to start with but he started to get mean and intentionally nasty towards me, so we had a huge argument. All the crap he put me through and all the chances I gave him when he screwed up, I said one nasty thing, it was actually about the affection, (he only showed my any affection when he had been drinking) and he didn't talk or contact me for 3 weeks, it's like he fell off the face of the earth.

I was so confused and hurt, I never hurt him the way his exes did but he was treating me like I was the devil.

I know I was a pretty damn good girlfriend, was patient with him, he took pride in himself and his friends and family all commented on how great we were for each other, I made him feel good, comforted him when his dark moods set in and he was treating me like this.

Eventually I contacted his daughter as I had had enough, he was 35 not 15, he needed to man up! So he called and we agreed that was the end, no hard feelings, but there was still a twist in my gut, why did it hurt so much? He brought me so much happiness and so much misery at the same time. It was the best time AND the worst time of my life.

Now we broke up in August, and out of the blue a few days ago he text me to ask how I was doing, asked about my family and hoped I was well. He THEN told me that he had moved on and MET SOMEONE, it just happened out of the blue, that he was taking it slow and he didn't want to get disappointed again. Now my question is this........WHY did he need me to know this? Is he trying to hurt me? How can he jump into a new relationship so quickly? I myself need time to heal, not cover up the wounds with a new flame. I know I don't want him anymore but it's like a punch in the gut.

It seems like everything he ever told was a complete lie, from being so in love with me, telling me I’m his best friend and then treating me like crap and just being able to move on to the next relationship in the blink of an eye.

I will never, ever, EVER date another Cancer man as long as I live. Granted they are the most generous, kindest people you will ever meet.......until you get on their bad side, they will hate you and make you feel like **** for breaking their heart, and apparently they can get over someone as quick as you can change channel on your TV.

I am now left feeling totally deflated, confused, hurt, and god knows what else.

He obviously needs to be in a relationship to be happy..........I don't. I was happy before I met him, it will take me a bit of time, but I will be happy again.

In a way I'm glad I got out when I did, god knows what lay ahead if we got married, what other crap would I have had to put up with?!

Makes you wonder about folk who say they love you. Oh also, one last thing, he used to always say to me "Don't judge me, I'm a nice guy". If anyone ever says this to you, run, run for the hills. :-)

Margaret.

[newmoon]

capricorn and cancer are opposite signs. but when you're in love the moon signs matter more than the sun sign, so don't swear off cancer men forever. you need the moon signs to be harmonious for love :-) perhaps that is where the incompatibility is. why don't you check that sign for both of you? there is probably another opposition or square or hard aspect between the moons that created the problems.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

You might have more luck in the future if you hold people (yourself included) accountable for their actions, rather than blame an arbitrary cycle of celestial patterns.

[Woggle]

The time of year somebody was born has nothing to do with anything.

[gaius]

I thought your ex actually had cancer.

[Diezel]

You might have more luck in the future if you hold people (yourself included) accountable for their actions, rather than blame an arbitrary cycle of celestial patterns.

 

Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

[Hoosfoos]

Horoscopes are purely for entertainment values and have absolutely no bearing on real life.