Eternal Sunshine Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 (edited) To cut a long story short I had this flirty friendship with a co-worker for a few months. Last night a group of us from work hit a night club and got drunk. My co-worker finally asked me for my number. Nothing much happened that night but this morning he texted me if I am free to go out to lunch today (weekend). I wasn't so I asked him if he can do tomorrow. He could, we exchanged a few messages setting the time. I asked him to think of a place as I am still new to the city. He asked me what type of food do I like.....and after my response nothing. This was 7 hours ago. Do I wash and style my hair? Do I select my outfit? Are we still on for tomorrow? When is it not clingy to message him about a place? Do I leave it up to him to message me or not? Edited November 1, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Diezel Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 If it's 8 AM for you too, then wouldn't it be reasonable to think he passed out or fell asleep and will get back to you? I mean, I'm assuming it's early AM for you too, I could be wrong. 1
veggirl Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 I'd proceed ahead as though you are still on. Just text him morning of and ask if he picked a place?
NYCGuy80 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 (edited) Hi there, Edit: oh this happened 7 hours ago? So midnight? Yeah he could have been out at the time and his phone died, got drunk with friends, fell asleep etc. I misread your post as saying you spoke at 7 the day before. had to edit my whole reply lol Good luck and I hope it works out for you. Edited November 1, 2014 by NYCGuy80
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Around 11 I'd call -- not message -- CALL & say hey are we still on for lunch? That's not clingy. You are seeking factual information. 3
heartshaped Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 I wouldn't leave it up to him per se, but I wouldn't message him early today either. I'd wait for him to respond and if by tonight he had not, like another poster mentioned, I'd give him a call very casually and just confirm we were still on for tomorrow and where we were going. But I'm sure you're still on for tomorrow. Sounds like he either just fell asleep or was out and his phone died. He'll probably contact you before you have to contact him honestly.
candie13 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 don't do a thing but carefully watch how he's behaving. There are a few guys out there who, more than dating women, love to mindf*ck them first, to make sure that they are frustrated... but also excited. I would not do a damn thing. Play it safe. Facts speak stronger than words. He has your number, he must remember your date. If you need to be on his back at the very first date.... that is a big red flag for the future. It is supposed to be easy. Always.
Tayken Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 .and after my response nothing. This was 7 hours ago. Ah...not nice to be on the other side of this is it? Women do this a lot, in order not to come across as desperate. In your case, perhaps the fella is researching a place to suit the response you gave him? It sounds like you are sitting by your phone waiting for an instant response. To be fair to the guy, you did say you aren't available today, so perhaps he doesn't want to bug you, and will text you later to let you know about the lunch tomorrow.
Ducky71 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 People seem to think texting is infallible...IT'S NOT! Sometimes texts just simply don't go through, maybe that's the case. If you're curious, call and ask, easy peasy
xxoo Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 You know this guy. It really should be easy. Call him up and ask if he picked a place. If he flakes, he's risking being embarrased at work. 1
Tayken Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 People seem to think texting is infallible...IT'S NOT! Sometimes texts just simply don't go through, maybe that's the case. If you're curious, call and ask, easy peasy Ah...exactly, but it's the guy's job to get back to a woman don't you know 1
Ducky71 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Ah...exactly, but it's the guy's job to get back to a woman don't you know Of course, what was I thinking?
Divasu Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Ah...not nice to be on the other side of this is it? Women do this a lot, in order not to come across as desperate. In your case, perhaps the fella is researching a place to suit the response you gave him? Tayken, I love ya man, but please keep your frustration separate from this. ES - keep in mind the date was planned the morning following a night of drinking. Is there a possibility he crashed afterwards/is sleeping? In any event, your date is for tomorrow, correct? I don't think you need to begin planning your hair/wardrobe just yet.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Well that went....... He invited me back to his place after lunch but then he got called to work and he didn't even touch me. He kept saying that he wants freedom and doesn't want to be tied down (in general) blah blah I was hoping for at least a kiss and preferably sex but nothing. Then he offered to help me move as I am moving to a new place..I may take him up on it because I got nobody else to help and would be saving heaps of money. Bahhhhh...back to OKC
yajiuma Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 He kept saying that he wants freedom and doesn't want to be tied down So casual fling/ FWB deal then? At least he's telling you up front.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Yup I think it has great FWB potential The only problem is that we work together so not sure if FWB complication is worth it. I may have to look for FWB elsewhere.
IronZ Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Well that went....... He invited me back to his place after lunch but then he got called to work and he didn't even touch me. He kept saying that he wants freedom and doesn't want to be tied down (in general) blah blah I was hoping for at least a kiss and preferably sex but nothing. Then he offered to help me move as I am moving to a new place..I may take him up on it because I got nobody else to help and would be saving heaps of money. Bahhhhh...back to OKC Get him to help you move. At the least you'll get free work out of him at best it may lead to something happening at your new place.
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