jackinthebox1 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 As a guy i can say that i would probably 100% get enticed back into a relationship if my ex played it right. I actually have. One took 6 months of them not contacting me and me getting to the end of my going out partying and the other one took around a year. I don't know what it is with me, but we don't like to see you move on, because we probably never do ourselves, we are very territorial. With women though, they seem to better with their emotions. Girls, have you dumped someone and had NC work? Or when u make ur mind up is that generally it?
megsheaven Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Hi there. I usually find it hard to cut off all contact with an ex and will be willing to give things another try but if you get the second chance it can be harder, as the underlying problems of the break up will still be there. I know it's the hardest thing to deal with, especially if you still love that person or even if you were the one who broke it off, it still hurts. I am going through the same thing, but my ex seems to be doing fine, we broke up 2 months ago and he's already with someone else. I myself need time to heal on my own but some people need the love of another to get over the pain.
newmoon Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 As a guy i can say that i would probably 100% get enticed back into a relationship if my ex played it right. I actually have. One took 6 months of them not contacting me and me getting to the end of my going out partying and the other one took around a year. I don't know what it is with me, but we don't like to see you move on, because we probably never do ourselves, we are very territorial. With women though, they seem to better with their emotions. Girls, have you dumped someone and had NC work? Or when u make ur mind up is that generally it? i don't think men are territorial as much as they are lazy. it is so much easier to go backwards and rekindle something with an ex than to move forward and actually put effort into something new. if you take back an ex who 'plays it right' you are, essentially, being lazy. women are more social creatures and investing in people comes more naturally, so it's easier to move on. we also maintain better support groups than men. we cry with our girlfriends, and they help us get through it. i don't think men cry it out with a buddy each night for months. i dunno about all women, but when the crying is done, so am i. 1
loversquarrel Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Grieving is grieving, everybody is different. Laziness has nothing to do with it. The main difference between men and women has not much to do with social groups or skills, both are equal in this regard. The main difference between men and women is that when it comes to emotional pain, men have a greater tendency to internalize while women externalize. Internalization by its very nature lasts much longer, however it also allows men to absorb the feelings and learn what behaviors to avoid in future mates. Women on the other hand tend to end up in the same relationship patterns to a greater degree, this could be caused by moving on quicker and not taking the time to understand what to avoid. There is a lot of truth to when women make the complaint that a man just won't commit...it's because he doesn't want to feel that pain again. Now mind you this may seem like a blanket statement, but it' s not the rule and doesn't apply to everyone. As far as men taking women back?, I think you'll find plenty of posters both men and women taking ex' s back.
newmoon Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Grieving is grieving, everybody is different. Laziness has nothing to do with it. The main difference between men and women has not much to do with social groups or skills, both are equal in this regard. The main difference between men and women is that when it comes to emotional pain, men have a greater tendency to internalize while women externalize. Internalization by its very nature lasts much longer, however it also allows men to absorb the feelings and learn what behaviors to avoid in future mates. Women on the other hand tend to end up in the same relationship patterns to a greater degree, this could be caused by moving on quicker and not taking the time to understand what to avoid. There is a lot of truth to when women make the complaint that a man just won't commit...it's because he doesn't want to feel that pain again. Now mind you this may seem like a blanket statement, but it' s not the rule and doesn't apply to everyone. As far as men taking women back?, I think you'll find plenty of posters both men and women taking ex' s back. should i point out your contradictory statement or can you find it on your own?
Kamila Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 NC is final for me, he has to come to my doorstep and explain himself why he didn't want commitment. It's only fair since I've done the 200 % and him the 0.0001 % so far ... 1
loversquarrel Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 should i point out your contradictory statement or can you find it on your own? I probably did make a contradictory statement as it's a subject that has no definitive rules. I'm just trying to put together things I've read, studied, my experiences and friends experiences.
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