MarkQuintz Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I'm the nicest guy I know, in my humble opinion. But every now and then, people will ask me what is wrong or why I look so mad. When in actuality, I'm in a great mood. I smile when I can, I laugh when possible, etc. I feel like people are intimidated by me because of this. I can't be councils all day about my facial expression, that's like asking me to monitor my breathing everyday. What can I do to fix this. I really think it's impeding my social interactions Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 you can't fix this too much. it's your face and short of plastic surgery your mouth will either turn up or down naturally and continue to do so forever. so, you have to just make a conscious effort to smile more, let people know you as a person so they won't assume you are mean/unapproachable, and focus on open body language, which you can control. lots of men and women have those resting faces and it isn't intimidating, it's unapproachable. like you don't want to greet them. so, always greet people first and don't wait for others to say hello because they likely won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 (edited) What can I do to fix this. I really think it's impeding my social interactions If you want to fix it, then you ARE going to have to be more conscious of your facial expression. Not for every second of every waking hour, but more than you have so far (by your own account) been willing to do. Did you know that what models do, is just clench their teeth? With a really good 'inner vibe' but still...that's how they can hold their "smile". On my wedding day, I was "clenching my teeth" so freaking much, you would not believe. But the pics tell a different story [EDIT TO ADD: NOT that I am a model by a long shot. It's the tip my photog gave me.] So, that's something you can practice. At home. Set a timer for 1 minute, then up it to 3, then 10, etc., and just focus on clenching your teeth and turning that action into what looks like 'smiling'. Of course you are right that the first 'measure' of how approachable you are, is your facial expression. What I'm taking from your post is that yours might be labelled "grim" (which of course would impeded your social interactions) versus...something more "approachable". You CAN change that but, based on your post, it will have to be with your own practice/conscious effort. That said. Do you have any life stresses that have become so "second nature" to you now that you no longer are even consciously aware of them existing? (I know two people like this, is why the thought is in my head.) Edited November 1, 2014 by Ronni_W Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 (edited) i have the opposite problem people are naturally attracted to me....all types......dont know if its a problem only when i would rather be left alone...i know i smile alot and half the time i dont know what i am smiling about i am soemtimes away somewhere in lala land...i think people are actually attracted to something deeper than face recognition.....I am fairly bouncy out in public even if i am down .....you have to develop a multiple personality ...leave the morose one behind a more approachable exterior... honestly people have to get to know you first and see that you arent mean and that their first sight perception of you isnt a true one.......and some people are just that way they go by first impression....doesnt mean they are right.....the book cover isnt really a handle on who they are or who you are.......you cover is just different to whats inside....and worthwhile people will make an effort to find that out.....smiling more as another poster sadi will help....but more importantly not just asmile with yoru mouth...but let that smile be from your eyes.......deb Edited November 1, 2014 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 You just have a bitchy resting face. Lots of people have one. You could always practice a half-smile. It brightens your mood instantly by sending positive triggers to your brain. Try it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 My natural face looks annoyed and/or pissed off. I've been told by exes/friends that they didn't like me or thought I wasn't approachable when they initially met me because I came off bitchy until they got to know me. Nothing to do with my personality, it's just how I came across. So, I've trained myself to smile at people in public, half-smile while in conversation and attempted to make my eyes look wider and more interested. You just need to be more aware of the aura you're giving off. If you're naturally sulky looking but in a good mood, then smile or be more engaging with people. Look people in the eye and don't turn your head as soon as you meet eye contact. If someone says your name, look up at them and smile. When you want to talk to someone, don't wait for them to come to you but approach them and let your personality shine through. Honestly, it may seem tough but you can train yourself and be more conscious of how you come across. Sometimes it can be mentally draining, so don't fake it. If you're not in the mood to be mr. smiley, then don't be but be pleasant and engaging. You're happy, you can show it, I promise you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 there's this lady at church.....she actually is imposing a no nonsense type who wont mess around with words if she doesnt like something and also a woman who rarely seems to smile.......she seems cranky......ok she is cranky......but she has this underlying sadness i feel.....sometimes when i look her way i see it....and other times i see someone i cant approach theres this weight on her......i believe that she may have back problems......some sort of body pain....like me she is over weight so its not a stretch to believe she has back problems.....but i can sense it.....i feel it when she is around...... one day i met her coming out of a supermarket.....and i smiled and said hey....and she smiled back and said hey......unconsciously and real.....a real smile..it was a heart smile and it was beautiful...maybe her back wasnt so sore... she looked beautiful when she smiled.......and she hasnt smiled at me since....lol but ill keep smiling at her....because i really wanna see that smile again...i want to ask her about her back.....but she would probably look at me like i was crazy and tell me to stuff off ya loon.........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Do you have those "number 11" frown lines between your eyebrows? Get botox to relax them. Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Do you have those "number 11" frown lines between your eyebrows? Get botox to relax them. I have those '11' lines. Early last summer I visited a cosmetic surgeon and asked "What's the cheapest procedure I can have done that will give me the most positive result?" A week later I had a botox treatment right between the eyeballs (he hit the mark on the first go ... username is unrelated to that appointment) Two months later I was dating aplenty, got into my first joyous relationship and was having a blast with life. Everything was going my way. Of course, less than a week after the botox treatment I found myself in the nuthouse for attempted suicide. Those were an interesting 2 weeks. Still not sure if I want to attach a Botox causation argument to either of those events .... Yet your post has given me a renewed interest in having another round of botulism injected millimeters away from my prefrontal cortex. What could go wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Let your bangs grow long enough to cover the 11. Don't do botox, sounds like you reacted to it! How scary and I'm glad you're doing better. Be aware of facial expressions, look in the mirror a lot when at home. You know how you 'feel' when you're smiling or have a happy interested look on your face , right? So, try to remember that feeling and practice - Chant in your head, I will smile. Then focus on what that feels like on your face. Hope this makes sense.. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 I've been told the same at times I supposed I always have a pissed off face lol. I recall a girl I used to work with who I later became good friends said to me that she was afraid to come to work at times because of how "angry" I looked to her lol. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) OwMyEyeball, you could have eaten sushi for the first time or worn purple underpants and had the same thing happen. What meds are you on? Edited November 3, 2014 by FitChick Link to post Share on other sites
Easyguy14 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I'm the nicest guy I know, in my humble opinion. But every now and then, people will ask me what is wrong or why I look so mad. When in actuality, I'm in a great mood. I smile when I can, I laugh when possible, etc. I feel like people are intimidated by me because of this. I can't be councils all day about my facial expression, that's like asking me to monitor my breathing everyday. What can I do to fix this. I really think it's impeding my social interactions This is interesting because I hardly smile at all but am very open to meeting as well as talking to all kinds of people. I guess people pick up on that even without my smile. Link to post Share on other sites
90s kid Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I had the same problem for a long time. People told me I had a mean resting face. I started actively working on keeping a pleasant expression on my face and smiling when I lock eyes with someone. After a while it became a habit and now I don't even have to think about it anymore. This has had a major effect on how I interact with people. I get approached far more often by men and I also find it easier to make friends. I've had numerous men and women tell me that I have a warm personality and a positive spirit. Trust me, it's worth the time and effort to work on how you present yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I kind of have this same problem. I've always had an aggressive look to my face. I still get approached by some women but they're usually the wrong ones Never understood the prerequisite some people have about smiling 99% of the time. Those who are actually like that are often fakes anyway. Definitely don't get botox! What a superficial suggestion and a sign of the sad times we live in. Link to post Share on other sites
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