HeartshapedBrain Posted October 31, 2014 Posted October 31, 2014 this is my first post and eng is not my main language so pardon any mistakes. first, we're a gay couple - both male. we've been bf/bf for 3 months now. it's nice when he's around, but when he's not, I always feel insecure and down. he's not very emotional, while I am on the other side, so I tend to get hurt with things easily and he knows that. I'm one for texting all day, calling randomly, I like to send music/videos whatever just so I can keep in touch and show how much I care. I like to send a good morning text when I wake up and a g'night when I go to sleep. it makes me happy to do that. he's not really like that tho. he rarely texts me, and I see he gets annoyed when I do that (g'morning/night texts, if I talk to him too much...). the other day he twitted "some people just wont leave me alone" 3 minutes after I send him a morning text, saying that I had a dream with him and that it was awesome (it was true btw). not sure it was for me, he doesn't know I know his twitter acc, I check it every once in a while. you know, it feels like he wants me to be less attached to him, to talk less, to do less for him, and I'm the other way around, I want to do that and I LOVE when someone does that for me. my ex use to do all of that and God how it feels awesome! to wake up with a good morning voice mail, to go to sleep after hearing your loved one's voice telling you to sleep well and that I was on their mind the entire day. it makes me very happy to hear things like that. when I send him a cute g'night text, all he replies with is a "good night, ttyl, love u". it always feels so cold. he's always been like that tho... when he's around it's great. he says he loves me, that he's really in love with me, he holds my hand in public (even though his family doesn't know 'bout him), all his friends knows about us, they even say we form a great couple. during weekends we plan everything together. so when he's near, I do feel loved. but when he's not, I don't at all. I just want to feel loved all the time. is it wrong to want that? am I asking too much? it makes me so insecure, Idk what to do. I've tried to break up once, but he did his best to show me that I was wrong and we should stay together. so I did. but I can't say I do feel secure with him. on sunday we had a lil argument, and he asked "will you ever accept me the way I am?"... and I said "I don't know. I've been trying, but it's hard... we're so different". he apparently accepts me the way I am but hell who wouldn't want a caring boyfriend that spends the entire day trying to show his bf how much he means to him? easy to have that right? so I've been trying to close off myself. to act colder. to focus on my stuff. went back to the gym, been working on old projects, focusing more on college and other things, to keep my mind off of him, but that's just not me, i feel sad doing that. plus it makes me feel like I'm in a game. I just wanted things to be soft, loving, caring and happy. why cant it be like that? :\ what to do? im so confused...
preraph Posted October 31, 2014 Posted October 31, 2014 You are too clingy. This is a common problem now with everyone texting. I don't know how anyone puts up with the sheer number of texts people expect you to keep going. I mean, they need to develop an app that makes a bell go off and lock further text for 24 hours that anyone can set and it should notify the sender you are taking a hiatus. No one with a busy life can sit around texting sweet nothings all day. And here's something you really need to think about. If you text everything every minute, WTF do you have left to talk about when you are face to face that hasn't already been said? That makes your face time borrrrring and annoying. You need to get a job or get a second job or get a hobby or get some other friends and stop pestering your man all d*mn day because you're gonna run him off. You're a guy, so you must know that a lot of guys do not like communication all that much to begin with. Obviously, this man is convinced you love and think about him and doesn't need the constant reminder. You need to get a grip. 2
Author HeartshapedBrain Posted October 31, 2014 Author Posted October 31, 2014 his life is not that busy.... he posts on facebook every hour, he's always on the apps (a lot of them btw - whatsapp, snapchat, fb, twitter, tumblr, and the list goes on). it's not that he doesn't have the time, but more like he doesn't put much effort into keeping us close when we're not near? we only see each other on weekends..... i could be clingy. is that a bad thing tho? my ex use to like that so much, we use to spend the entire day texting and sharing stuff. i just miss that. and when we were together, we still had plenty of things to talk about. i don't miss my ex, but i miss these things... idk it just makes me so happy... it makes me feel loved... he's always on my mind, I like to stay in touch. I don't want to know about everything he's doing, but I'd love some more attention?
Gaeta Posted October 31, 2014 Posted October 31, 2014 Heartshaped: Your boyfriend is not that into you. And to make the matter even more frustrating you and him are not compatible. I went though the exact same thing lately. I was communicating with a man that was very present on text and phone. We text all day, sent pictures, called a few times a day, and I enjoyed every minute of it! because I was into him. Right after I met someone else that does the same thing, lots of contact through the day but it annoyed the heck out of me, even if I enjoyed spending time with him, his constant communication aggravated me and I know it's because I was not that into him. The little comment your boyfriend said after you contacted him 'that some people were annoying' speaks volume. That is a very cruel and disrespectful comment to make on a public media about his boyfriend, even if he did not name you. You are who you are. You like lots of communication and to feel his presence through the day, you cannot change he's not like this, and that will make you very unhappy and miserable. Dating is about figuring out if 2 people are compatible, you've had 3 months together now to make a conclusion. 1
Author HeartshapedBrain Posted October 31, 2014 Author Posted October 31, 2014 ty gaeta I was starting to think that Im the problem. I do realize that Im a lil clingy, but I give him space. he works full time and has college at night, and I understand. sometimes he does says he's missing me, or he says he's in love with me, but his actions are so meh... if hes not into me tho, why does he insists on mantaining this relationship? like 3 times we had a fight and we got close to breaking up, once I actually said I wanted to break up, it was through text 'cause thats where the fighting was happening, then he calls me desperatly crying and begging me not to break up?? it was recent too.. but yea, I agree with you... I don't wanna admit but I do think he's not that into me. I don't wanna break up, when we're together its all so amazing and perfect, i'll try a lil more, perhaps talk to him 'bout it...
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