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Posted

I haven't posted in a while because I have had family problems with my dad who hasn't got much longer to live, due to an accident at home, which makes things even harder to accept that he will die soon .... its occupied my mind a lot thinking of my dad, but the past few days my mind has wondered back to my ex. I broke down yesterday and have felt so sad since. I feel like im taking five steps forward and then bang, 10 steps back. I have tried all the usual, gym, reading and being with my family but when i get home all lone it hits me like a ton of bricks..

 

I've had no contact since he sent that nasty text in July and so i have been strong there. I still have so many questions that remained unanswered and i think its that that's tearing me apart, was it me? did i do something wrong? am I a bad person? Question's i may never get answers to, I don't sleep well and haven't done for months, I cant talk to anyone because i feel like i'm a pain and people will just say " move on ffs " ............ I keep asking myself why is he happy after what he did to me and im not...its just not fair.

Posted

As long as you care, you will always feel that many issues remain unsolved.

Posted

These guys don't have the balls to be honest with you, hence no closure...

 

It's frustrating, but it more or less sums up these sad, horrible, selfish people. We did'nt deserve them and they don't deserve our tears...

 

P.S. Sorry to hear about your father. Try and be strong. There

are many good people on this site to support you...

  • Like 1
Posted

I think when sad or stressful situations happen, our self-esteem takes a hit and things that have contributed to us feeling like crap in the past can sometimes be brought up. It's like emotional self-cutting.

 

You mention a nasty text from your ex...try and focus on that nasty side of his personality. Why would you want anything to do with someone like that? It might not feel like it now, but when you meet a nice, caring guy in the future you will be glad this douche left you.

 

You're going through such a horrible time at home. If you were still with this guy, more than likely he would be contributing to a sh*t period in your life.

 

With your dad's limited time left, realise how much better it is to focus your energy on the important things in life. This ex of yours, due do the way he treated you, should be put in the "insignificant" category.

 

If it helps, it's unlikely he is happy. People who treat others like crap are rarely happy... and not that you should wish anything bad to happen to anyone, but karma has a way of balancing things out. Regardless, you can be without toxic people like that in your life and moving on from them. I know its easier said than done, but it can be done.

 

Best of luck and sending warm wishes your way, hope you feel better soon...

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