Author Dante311 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 Thanks guys! i'm DYING to message her again. her best friend, who WAS a friend of mine hates me now. And he runs a program that I used to volunteer for. I can no longer volunteer with them... awkward
AaronSG Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Thanks guys! i'm DYING to message her again. her best friend, who WAS a friend of mine hates me now. And he runs a program that I used to volunteer for. I can no longer volunteer with them... awkward Good, that's fine, that's just all peaches and cream! Let this so called friend hate you, go ahead, let them hate! Every time they display the hate, just tell yourself one thing "true friends don't hate true friends"! And dependent on where you live, if volunteering is that important to you, I'm sure there's more places than just this one to do it at. I'm sorry your "dying" over there, but your just going to have to trust some of what has been told to you. Your pain will mellow out in time, things will ease up in time, the longer you can stay away from her the more you will heal, finding things to occupy your time and your thinking are a must, having true friends that will never hate you to talk to is a help wxt. ect. ect. One of these days you'll look back upon this time period and perhaps be very thankful you went through it. Learning lessons can be had by our pain, our hurt, our confusions, our frustrations, our doubts, our fears, our worry's, there are lesson's within it all. I'm now working on my 4th month after a very devastating and nasty breakup with my ex-faince! I was once in your position, we all were, but you know something, I'm starting to become very grateful that things turned out like they did. yeah, it hurt, yeah there was pain, yeah there was the initial suicidal thoughts, but those are pretty much all gone now. My pain and hurt being within my 4th month out from it all, now feels like a rose bush thorn in my side, yeah it hurts, but now I know it's not going to kill me. Now my moto, just like Kelly Clarkson, "what doesn't kill only makes you stronger"! Watch it, listen to the words, learn from the words, get motivated by what you hear, know that hope never dies........... Heck, in 2 months I'm purposely going to violate my "no contact", my family is going to pay to fly me to Ohio where my ex lives, I'm going to buy the biggest boom box that I can find at the Walmart down the street from her, have this song on CD already burned, put it in, walk up to the front of her home and blast this mother f**ker, all the while having that assured smile on my face, knowing that I'm a 100 times better without her, I'm just going to let her know she didn't finish the job, she didn't kill me, she let me rise up again better and stronger than she found me, and when the song is over, so am I, it's steak at Denny's and I'll fly back home! See what you got to look forward to, the fact that you'll be stronger and better when this is said and done! You'll be fine, give it time, and have hope!
tikay00 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 You're only stuck because you KEEP HOLDING ON! Let go, and have the mentality that she's never coming back. Stop thinking about her with another guy. Why the hell would you do that!? As soon as you think about that, just think about something else. You just like to torture yourself. Stop being so emo.
mammasita Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 MAN UP! 11 times she dumped you, are you trying to break a record? No sane person would allow this. Pick up the pieces of self respect that are sitting on the ground around you and put them back together because you've dropped them. Do not let this woman rule your world and walk all over you. Stop the madness. 2
Author Dante311 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 It's that moment you realize that you are never getting back together with her, and are moving forward with your life that I can't explain. I'm still sad, and closure comes from within myself, not from her... I'm with a therapist. I'm with a personal trainer... I'm with my career. I'm utilizing internet porn and my hand... I just don't want to try at this old relationship anymore, even if she does come back, or doesn't. I don't know, and I don't care. Truth be told, she probably will at some point, probably not to get back together, but to feel it out, feed HER ego... it's how I react that makes the difference. I'm sure it won't be easy, but I'll do everything in my power to not respond. Well... I am stupid, but I did this more for me, than for her. I don't know why, and I'll probably take some heat from you amazing people. With much love... I know it's poorly written.. I know the grammar is completely off... I don't care. I just wrote whatever came to mind. I did not pay any mind to spelling, words, placement, grammar, tense... I just put my heart, my head, and my gut into words... coherent or incoherent, I do not care. -------------- Hi Dana, Although we may never agree on why things are the way they are, we are currently in this situation and we need to deal with it as adults. I understand how despicable of a person you think I am, I’m not trying to say I’m perfect or good, I’m just a human being with things to work on, like everyone else in this world. I wish things would have been different, but they aren’t. I understand you don’t want to see me or talk to me, it was obvious from the get go, so I understand why you want to limit our interaction. I know, I absolutely know, you are in a difficult situation and I wish I could help you with that but I can’t, I know with time, we are going to look back and have a great, happy, and fond memories of the last 3 and half years... the time we spent together, even if we are with different people, even with people who are making us happy, because at the end, life is too complicated not to try to be happy all the time. I wish I could still be supportive... I know now it’ll be difficult to be friends but I’d love to keep in contact with you and to know how you are doing. I’m sure we are going to look back at what we had / lived together and smile, we had some really special moments. I understand it’ll take some time before that happens but I know I’d love to be your friend. Please let me know what you think, let’s not argue what I or you did right or wrong, We are now here, things have changed and we need to move forward. Let’s not be like every couple that breaks and ends hating each other. I know it is easy for me to say it, from my position, but I’ve been heartbroken, twice in my life now, but I want no hard feelings, life sometimes is the way it is, even though we want it to be different with all our heart. With all my heart, and fondness, Rafi
evanescentworld Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Boy, you'll be wearing sackcloth and ashes next.... Ugh. I'm sorry, but if i was Dana, I'd be seriously worried about getting you sectioned. Look at the difference between the two letters you've written her. Really? I mean, REALLY?? You're wallowing in self-pity, and to be honest, people here are going to begin to find it tedious. you know why? Because you're turning into an Emotional Vampire. You're drawing all this sympathy to you, but doing absolutely nothing to tangibly demonstrate you're honestly putting anything into action. Therapy? Personal trainer? You're just going through the motions but your heart's not in it. It's all pretense, because you're where you choose to be. You sir, are in hell, and it's entirely self-made. Tell me, have you actually sent either letter?
Author Dante311 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 Boy, you'll be wearing sackcloth and ashes next.... Ugh. I'm sorry, but if i was Dana, I'd be seriously worried about getting you sectioned. Look at the difference between the two letters you've written her. Really? I mean, REALLY?? You're wallowing in self-pity, and to be honest, people here are going to begin to find it tedious. you know why? Because you're turning into an Emotional Vampire. You're drawing all this sympathy to you, but doing absolutely nothing to tangibly demonstrate you're honestly putting anything into action. Therapy? Personal trainer? You're just going through the motions but your heart's not in it. It's all pretense, because you're where you choose to be. You sir, are in hell, and it's entirely self-made. Tell me, have you actually sent either letter? We're in no contact. The letters are for me.
evanescentworld Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Well stop publishing them. You come across as weak, needy, desperate, clingy and frankly, it's unmanly. You really need to up your game and quit being so 'soft'. It's only a damn relationship for goodness' sake! It's over, finished. You really need to quit wallowing and work on getting over it - and yourself. You're abdicating everything you've got, to being Mr Miserable, and letting something ungraspable, intangible, ephemeral and invisible rule your every waking moment. That must be exhausting. What is so damn special about her - right now, this minute - that makes her be the only reason you're here?
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