earfy Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 So recently my girlfriend told me that she does not want to see me this week because she needs to focus on her son which I completely understand. We have been seeing each other for a month and since the beginning of October she has been staying over my place every weekend and her parents would watch her son or her ex-boyfriends mom would look after him. She sent me that text on Sunday night saying how she needs to focus on her son this week and I called her the other day but she didn't pick up. So she text me saying that if I wanted to talk with her it can only be through texts. So my birthday was the other day and she was supposed to stay that night and she didn't text me at all and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. I am just confused to why she won't text me or anything and I hope she isn't trying to break up with me which I have no idea why she would want too. So my question is what is really going on? Does she actually need this week off to spend with her son and everything after will be normal again? Thank You.
bathtub-row Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Very hard to say except that it's obvious that she's evading you. Even if she does need to focus on taking care of her son, that doesn't mean she's chained to him 24/7 and can't even talk on the phone. I think something else is going on but you can't know unless she tells you. Texting you that she needs to spend time with her son was a pathetic means of communicating information like that. Ignoring your birthday completely isn't a very good sign, either. I know it will be a hard thing to do but, since she's not being upfront with you and isn't answering your calls, then I would back off completely if I were you. Don't attempt to call her at all. Let her be the one to call you. If you leave her alone, she's likely to call at some point. When she does, I wouldn't be overly friendly and, at some point during the conversation, you might want to tell her that she needs to be honest with you or don't even bother having a conversation. You need to let her know by your actions and words that you won't accept someone treating you in this way. If you don't draw this line, she will never respect you. And a woman losing respect for a man is a death sentence for a relationship. How long have the two of you been dating?
Author earfy Posted October 30, 2014 Author Posted October 30, 2014 Almost a month now and her parents/ex-boyfriend's mom was watching her son during the weekends that we were hanging out.
bathtub-row Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Almost a month now and her parents/ex-boyfriend's mom was watching her son during the weekends that we were hanging out. Well, for her to have someone watch her son for such a long time was neglectful and immature of her. It may be that her mom came down hard on her about it and now she feels guilty. It's really hard to say but her actions aren't very kind toward you. And just because you might be crazy about someone like this, don't ignore the red flags here. This isn't a girl who behaves in a kind or thoughtful manner -- not toward you and not even toward her own son. It seems that what she wants takes front and center. It wouldn't be wise to ignore the signs.
Author earfy Posted October 30, 2014 Author Posted October 30, 2014 Thanks for the feedback. I really do like her and I'm just confused on what to do right now.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 31, 2014 Posted October 31, 2014 She probably feels guilty that she has spent so much time away from her son to spend with you. And she's probably feeling the new infatuation and excitement of the situation wearing off. I hate to say this, but if after only four weeks she is already saying she wants an entire week away from you, and that she won't even speak to you on the phone, made zero effort for your birthday and is being generally evasive, the relationship is over already even if you don't realise it. Like someone else said, she won't be chained to her son 24/7 unable to even make a quick call. Let me guess, she hasn't actually said when she wants to see you again and made plans for after this week? Or told you she'll miss you this week and can't wait to see you again? She's probably just said that she can't see you and now she's gone off the radar. Probably time to get the hint and back RIGHT off, presume it's over. If I'm wrong, she'll come to you and all will become clear. But I'm sure I'm not: nobody deliriously happy in a new relationship says that they don't want to see their partner for a whole week and won't even speak to them on the phone without a reason that makes it impossible to meet. I don't think she's into you anymore. 1
Author earfy Posted November 3, 2014 Author Posted November 3, 2014 Well I'm going to contact her today. Any ideas on what I should text her or should I just call her?
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