That_girl Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 So last Sunday I went to sleep over at my boyfriend's house with $220 in my pocket, and the morning after I only found $200 in my pocket. I don't know exactly what happened to the money, but I'm about 99% that I didn't spend it, or lose it...therefore he must have taken it. Last night when I questioned him about it, he completely denied it. I told him that if he told me the truth, things would be alot better for the both of us, but he continued to say "No matter what I say, you aren't going to believe my anyway so **** this" and he hung on me! I don't understand how he could steal from me and then deny it and hang up on my face, as if I'm the one who betrayed him. I was completely devastated last night after this because I kept thinking "Oh my God, what if I'm wrong and he didn't take it?" I realize how horrible it would be for me to accuse him in that case, but how can I ever know for sure? I mean, I have valid reasons to believe he took it, he even asked me money the night before so he could buy pot, and I said no. Also he knows that at times I can be a little frivolous with my money, and I don't always know exactly how much I have on me. So I figured he just spotted a weakness in me, and took advantage of it. Also, usually when one accuses you of something, the person will automatically start denying the whole thing if they didn't actually do it. He was kinda slow with that, and he never directly said "I didn't take it". Also, I could sense the guilt in his voice, he didn't really put up a fight about it. All I wanted was him to come clean, but I know he has way too much to do that, and is afraid that he'll completely loose my trust anyway. So my question is, am I wrong in accusing him? And if not, is this whole situation enough reason to end a relationship of 4 years? I feel horrible because he wasn't only my boyfriend, he's also my best friend. He's never stolen from me in the past, but there's a first time for everything right? Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 Stealing money is a big deal... but 20$... I don't know what to say. Try not to be the cop for a sec and talk to him. Men do the weridest things when they feel that they're forced to. Talk to him a lot. Drop the subject for now. The main issue goes to: do you actually trust him? Are you convinced he is not like that, that it's not in his nature to steal or cheat? Is he around drug addicts, does he drink, does he gamble? The context tells a lot about him. If it's just 20$... I don't know. I don't know if it's the money or his taking it without asking permission.... I have no idea. Tell us some more about him and about your relationship. It's a symptom but I would certainly not just give up a 4 years long relationship for that!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author That_girl Posted March 13, 2005 Author Share Posted March 13, 2005 Yeah he doesn't really drink, but he and his friends are definitely around drugs alot. He smokes pot everyday, and doesn't have a job. I don't know what to do at this point because I know he's lied to me before, not about anything huge, just little things once in a while. Anyway, the relationship is good, I love him, we get along great and everything but there's always been a lack of trust on my part. I don't think $20 is a reason to break up either, but it's not the money. It's the fact that he stole it from me. I've never stolen anything from a boyfriend or a close friend just because I feel like it's so wrong and deceitful, I wouldn't even steal a dollar...so everytime I think about him stealing from me, it makes me feel horrible. And I don't get why he would hang up on...usually when I've accused him of something, he'll try his best to explain himself...not that this happens alot. He always tells me how afraid he is of loosing me...and I know it's true. He's on 19, and he lives on his own...I'm the only important thing in his life right now, so I don't understand why he would risk ****ing things up with me for $20. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 At 19 he's barely a man. HE's still thinking in terms of his needs. It's tough to be on your own when you're 19. Tell him to put his arse in school or get a job and take some resonsability. If there's a background on this issue of lying... it's not good. Not good at all. Bad friends around him at this age can give him really bad advice and it's soooo easy to f*ck up his life. You're right, it's not about 20 $. IT's about his life. And if he decides to live that way, he should keep you and your wallet off it. I think maybe you should warm him and give him a dead line. Three months to turn his life around. If not, leave. You don't want to stick around to that type of a person. What if he gets into more expensive stuff than pot? What will he do then, take your tv set??? Be very very very carefull and don't be afraid to analyse this situation cold bloodedly. Talk to your mom. What type of advice do you think she would give you? Link to post Share on other sites
blue_eyes18 Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 Really, I have known of guys like the way you describe your boyfriend, and oneday they just walk up and take someone's play station like there ain't **** to it and pawn it. WTF???? Don't get hurt and stressed over someone who may be into drugs, the wrong timngs. I am not just talking about pot, if all his friends are on drugs and ****, he probably is too. That's just he way it goes. I have been there done that, hope it works out for you though... Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 If you don't trust him, for whatever reason, leave. You can't have a good relationship when there is lack of trust. Move on and find someone whom you can trust completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 He asked for money to buy pot, you said "No" and he felt that you should have given it to him so he took it and didn't think you'd notice. Or if you did, wouldn't think he took it. It's simple. It's immature. It's like stealing 20 bucks from your parent's wallet to buy beer when they won't give it to you. Here's some advice. Don't carry that much cash on you. Saying "You THEIF" may be wrong, but asking him if he knows where the 20 bucks you had in your pocket went isn't wrong at all. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 yeah i had this roommate who started being like, hey wait, where are my CDs/DVDs, where is this piece of jewlry, where is this 20 bucks blah blah blah. Her BF was selling her stuff for cash for drugs, and stealing money from her. Dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
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