Imported Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 OP, it doesn't sound like your wife is the person for you anyway. Why did you marry her? I'm not saying you're bad for wanting what you want. I have seen post here by married women proclaiming they had few experience outside of the guy they married and they wanted to go have sex with other men just to see what it was like. And somehow those women are victims and treated with kiddie gloves on because some man locked her away from enjoying the world. The fact is most women are able to get all the sex they want from their teens and onward. Many guys really don't develop till later. The market certainly is saturated with attractive and willing women for some guys. Being financially well off will never be admitted to by most women as what attracts them, but there are no women dreaming of being with poor broke ass men. $$$ is just part of the package. Your confidence and how you carry yourself will be what most women will point to as why they are attracted and that is also part of the package. It's never any one thing, but every one thing can be important. Some more so than others. Honestly, you're not missing anything. And dealing with yet another girl can be tiresome. But I am not a carefree person. Some stuff really matters to me and affects me. 2
FitChick Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 OP, why don't you and your wife spice up your sex life? Costumes, role play, fantasy, wigs, toys. This is why I've always said I'd prefer a man who was a "bad boy" when young and screwed around because once he's ready to commit he is unlikely to regret it. He's done it all. Look at George Clooney. 1
Gloria25 Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 OP, why don't you and your wife spice up your sex life? Costumes, role play, fantasy, wigs, toys. This is why I've always said I'd prefer a man who was a "bad boy" when young and screwed around because once he's ready to commit he is unlikely to regret it. He's done it all. Look at George Clooney. Bleh at George Clooney...he's only gotten married cuz he's getting old and models are probably getting tired of his "old man smell". And, while he seemed to marry a smart chick, she's still young enough to be his daughter, so IMO, he's still trying to get the fountain of youth from who he bangs. I don't believe in the whole "sow your wild oats" thing. Why do people think they have to do certain "wild" things? I mean, I just don't get people saying they missed out on this or that. You should be able to have drinks with your husband/wife. Have fun now and then and share your "wild" desires with them. Why do some people feel it has to be Madonna or Ho? Besides, the OP didn't say "what" he feels he's missing with his wife. He just expressed a childish desire to taste every ice cream flavor in the shop. 4
NJ123 Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Bleh at George Clooney...he's only gotten married cuz he's getting old and models are probably getting tired of his "old man smell". And, while he seemed to marry a smart chick, she's still young enough to be his daughter, so IMO, he's still trying to get the fountain of youth from who he bangs. I don't believe in the whole "sow your wild oats" thing. Why do people think they have to do certain "wild" things? I mean, I just don't get people saying they missed out on this or that. You should be able to have drinks with your husband/wife. Have fun now and then and share your "wild" desires with them. Why do some people feel it has to be Madonna or Ho? Besides, the OP didn't say "what" he feels he's missing with his wife. He just expressed a childish desire to taste every ice cream flavor in the shop. Yeah there's a 17 year age difference between them. So even though she's in her mid 30s, she can still be his daughter. And I agree he only got married now because he don't want to be alone as he reaches his 60s & 70s. Since I mean really who wants to die alone? 2
lollipopspot Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Since I mean really who wants to die alone? Everyone dies alone, unless they die in a bomb blast or something. 3
NJ123 Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Everyone dies alone, unless they die in a bomb blast or something. lol well you know what I meant. Dying without a husband/wife would be way worse than dying without having anyone to care for you in your last days. 1
Gloria25 Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 (edited) Yeah there's a 17 year age difference between them. So even though she's in her mid 30s, she can still be his daughter. And I agree he only got married now because he don't want to be alone as he reaches his 60s & 70s. Since I mean really who wants to die alone? Yup, so, when he hits 60, 70, while she won't be a 20yr old hard body, she'll still be attractive/young enough for him w/o him having to deal with the drama of a stupid dainty model. But, I see this going the way of the Clint Eastwood marriage. He married a younger Hispanic news reporter and now that he's all old and wrinkly (80s), she's like almost 50 (and smokin' hawt for her age) and now she's like OMG, I don't want this old fart. Edited October 30, 2014 by Gloria25 1
NJ123 Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Yup, so, when he hits 60, 70, while she won't be a 20yr old hard body, she'll still be attractive/young enough for him w/o him having to deal with the drama of a stupid dainty model. But, I see this going the way of the Clint Eastwood marriage. He married a younger Hispanic news reporter and now that he's all old and wrinkly (80s), she's like almost 50 (and smokin' hawt for her age) and now she's like OMG, I don't want this old fart. Yep And now he's with some blonde woman who seems to be around late 40s/early 50s age range. So another huge age difference.
Gloria25 Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 (edited) Yep And now he's with some blonde woman who seems to be around late 40s/early 50s age range. So another huge age difference. And, some people just don't learn... But, then again, not sure if he can find a woman in her 80's that would be "dateable" (unless he was just looking for someone to sit on a bench with him and hold hands...lol). Oh no, I just looked up the new gf...his ex is still hotter. Maybe I have bias cuz I'm Hispanic...lol. Edited October 30, 2014 by Gloria25 1
NJ123 Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 And, some people just don't learn... But, then again, not sure if he can find a woman in her 80's that would be "dateable" (unless he was just looking for someone to sit on a bench with him and hold hands...lol). Oh no, I just looked up the new gf...his ex is still hotter. Maybe I have bias cuz I'm Hispanic...lol. Yeah, that's the problem. He's not going to want someone his own age since he's 84 years old. Maybe he could have went out with Raquel Welch who's 74 lol. And I agree his ex is hotter. 1
Goldenbrwn Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 This is a tough one. How physically attracted to your wife are you? Do you mean to just be single for a while and have sex with as many sexy women as you can or do you dream of getting another woman who is as good as your wife but more attractive? If you just want to run through as many good looking women as you can for a while from my experience that gets old pretty quickly. From how you described your wife and listed none of her faults I wouldn't leave her. Still if you really feel strongly about it I would think its best to get that out of your system now instead of later when you have children and a divorce would be even nastier. You will get blasted on this forum for this but it seems like many women wouldn't be afraid to leave if they feel their husband is making significantly less money than they want him to and they think they can get a better provider. A man feeling that with his income level he can take advantage of their love of money and/or the ability to provide and get more attractive women is basically the same thing. If you do decide to separate I would advise against sharing in great detail the reasons why. You need to find a way to not flat out lie to her but not give her your whole motivation in vivid detail like "I love you but I am not as sure of what I want out of life and our marriage. I need to be alone and single to find out what I really need to be happy before we bring children into this."
RedRobin Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Thanks for your replies. Yes, I am actually serious about this post. I strongly believe I have an outstanding wife who will make a great mother. She is the type that will be there on my death bed holding my hand. She's humble, low maintenance, kind, and warm. She is very honest (i don't know if I can find anyone more honest!). She has no complexes, which i find rare for a woman. Despite all this, my testosterone takes over sometimes and I lose track of what is really important. I see buddies sleeping around and it makes me wonder if I am missing out. Funny enough, I asked my pig of a buddy for advice and he told me to not be an idiot and focus on my great marriage. However, this will sound very arrogant again, the market out there is amazing for mature educated fit men with lots of fish in the sea. I guess sometimes I look at women (just like some women look at men) like commodities. Principle of supply & demand i guess. I'd be interested to hear more from you guys. First world problems! I think you need to find yourself a new circle of buddies before they eff up the good life you have now. Consider this... The world is full of people who will try to sabotage other people's happiness. Don't let those other guys suck you into their cess pool 2
ascendotum Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 And, some people just don't learn... But, then again, not sure if he can find a woman in her 80's that would be "dateable" (unless he was just looking for someone to sit on a bench with him and hold hands...lol). Oh no, I just looked up the new gf...his ex is still hotter. Maybe I have bias cuz I'm Hispanic...lol. Clint learned good to do as he pleases and go for what he wants and too bad for anyone else. He dumped his first wife as soon as his career took off in hollywood. I think he's had at least 4 wives and cheated on them all, with both famous women and really young dippy things which he really liked. When he got bored with married life he wouldn't bother to hide the cheating. Most wives walked with peace of mind and $ (but not too much as he's supposed to be a tight arse), except the little blond spitfire sandra locke, she did not go quietly. Amazing the guy looks really ancient now and he's still trading em in for a younger model. I guess it helps keep him energized.
xxmusical Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Are all men doomed to eventually cheat with a younger woman esp. if they have the $$ and power? If all men are like this, the world is doomed. Funny enough, I asked my pig of a buddy for advice and he told me to not be an idiot and focus on my great marriage. This friend is right. Inwardly, he's probably jealous of what you've got too. Yet, you're jealous that they get to sleep around? Ok, you've worked hard for your goals and now you got your dream job, the money, and the perfect wife/marriage. So your life is stable and probably a bit dull without all the motivation to working hard on your goals because you met all your goals already. So you decide to look for new excitement, new things to achieve...and you plan to settle on young girls?? So...why did you marry your wife?
Mascara Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 If you had kids my advice would be different, but since you don't - I think you should leave her. Not for your benefit, but for hers. You're going to cheat anyway, eventually. Leave her now while she's still young, and can find a wonderful man who realises that all the hot party girls in the world aren't a match for the kind, loving, hard working one that she is. Some man is going to get very lucky, while in ten years you'll be searching for her on Facebook because she'll be the one who got away, who met you during the lean years and was interested in you, not your money. 5
Million.to.1 Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 lol well you know what I meant. Dying without a husband/wife would be way worse than dying without having anyone to care for you in your last days. ... but one of you has to go first... and then the other will die alone anyway. Me and my love always have the "i'm going to die first" "no I am!" joke. Dying is not the issue though really. Aging alone is what people fear. OP. leave your wife.
ComingInHot Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Hey Hefner, all the money in the world isn't going to give you one iota of sex appeal to anyone who figures out what make up your thoughts and intentions. You're the Prof now, shouldn't you be smarter than this?...
SummerDreams Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Yep, you sure do. Be honest with your wife now instead of cheating on her. Divorce her and go get your rocks off (not because you are wealthy, but because you believe you are entitled - whatever). Save her from YOU because in a few years, you will be old and alone and regretting that you screwed up your life. While I agree that he should inform his wife about his thoughts and how his needs in life changed, I disagree with you saying that in a few years he will have screwed up his life. In fact I'm surprised to hear that since this is what almost all young people do nowadays, study, party in their youth and settle down later in life. Why doesn't he have the right to do so as well? I can really easily see him partying for like 10 years and then getting married and settled again when the time for him is right and having a nice family and being faithful to his wife and living happily everafter. I realize what he says sounds shallow and really unfair to his wife, but I think that most people (or lets say men) feel the same after they graduate from school, even though they don't say it out loud. I'm sorry for his wife but life is not fair and our needs change in time. I'm sure she'll find a guy who will appreciate her and agree with her about the right timing to do things together. OP I think you should let your wife go and do what pleases you. I know it will be hard, but it's better to do it now than in a few years after having kids. 1
SummerDreams Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 You have what a lot of men would love to have and you want to just throw it in the garbage. Just amazing. It's a great truth what you just said. But sadly people do this all the time. My cousin lives my dream life (kids and a husband on a perfect island) and I have her dream life (husband but no kids in a big city). She complains about her life and hates it, I complain about my life and hate it. This is how life goes. What is a dream for most men is not good enough for this man (the OP) and we shouldn't guilt him into doing something he'll regret in a few years. At the moment nothing is making him stay with his wife since he doesn't want to. I'd say, lets stop trying to demand from people to want what we want. 1
No Limit Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Are you planning on sitting down with your wife and having a talk with her about this? Personally your posts make me doubt that you're mature - yes, I said mature - enough for a marriage. A man stands up for his family and takes responsibility, it's the boys that need to screw around - hence why it's called "boys will be boys". Nonetheless, I hope you're not going to use this pathetic line as one of the justifications you'll hold in front of your wife, made up by other betrayed wives in denial who prefered to hear that instead of "my husband doesn't care about me enough to keep it in his pants". You want what you can't have, and I doubt you'll convince yourself otherwise. The best thing to do is to stop your marriage/current course of action before you bring a wife that has invested many years into what she thought you two had and children into jeopardy. I also hope you aren't the sort that believes that sex with those many fish in the sea will make you happier. At the very least, always use condoms, with your purse you're always endangered by gold diggers (next to the regular threat of catching STDs). Have fun! 1
Got it Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Everyone dies alone, unless they die in a bomb blast or something. Natalie Keener: How about just not dying alone? Ryan Bingham: Starting when I was 12, we moved each one of my grandparents into a nursing facility. My parents went the same way. Make no mistake, we all die alone. Now those cult members in San Diego, with the sneakers and the Kool-Aid, they didn't die alone. I'm just saying there are options. 1
StanMusial Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 This sounds like a midlife crisis about 10 years too soon. That means you're going to die when you're 60. 2
SoleMate Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Your wife has way more sexual options available on a moment's notice than you do. Why not just be fair, tell her your thoughts, and let her have the same fun you're planning for yourself? I notice you haven't specified how you earn your $400,000 despite being asked more than once. Perhaps you're in sales, say of luxury cars or capital equipment or contracting services or some such. If so, that income can crash faster than it soared. I've know many people who thought the commissions would never end, and they built their lives assuming the boom-year income was the new normal. It wasn't sustainable. Kinda similar to your relationship situation. When you start screwing around, your happy marriage to your loyal, humble wife will become a pile of miserable ashes. Do the right thing now and be honest with her. 1
Got it Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 I actually think, for the OP, he needs to figure out what he wants to do with these feelings. Do you want to works towards dissolving them? Act on them? Understand them? Have you thought about how you are working through issues of inferiority from your younger years that has manifested itself into this desire to bed many? A continued drive to be "good enough" from the opposite sex. A need of acceptance from strangers to valid your self esteem? And do you see that as healthy? Whether or not you act on this is your concern. But I think you really should deep dive why this is there and what it really means. I see it with my father as well, makes about 3x what you make so you imagine the ladies that he can get. And he says the same thing, women he couldn't get when he was a teen/young adult. So he has gone after them. But what does it mean really? So he can pay to have women sleep with him. Because he feels that what he is able to bring to the table is money (because they wouldn't be interested in him without it). And do you see how sad that is? The poor self esteem that things his only redeeming feature is his wallet. (And don't get me started on his KISA issues and continued need to seek approval from his mother - who is deceased- in his romantic partners). And like many of life's cross roads, ask yourself, who is the person you want to be?
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