mannon Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 My story is long but to make it short ill stick to the breakup. But to recap we were with each other for 5 years lived for 4. About 2 months 3 weeks ago my ex left me for another guy met him then 2 weeks later left me . In the last 6 months of our relationship we got in arguments little ones however 1 major incident occurred 2 weeks before she left. I drank and did pills i was never a lush and kept it hidden from her. We didnt get in any violent fights ever it was really pity stuff about little things just bickering. All in all we got along and loved each other very much and did many fun things together. So anyway the first month of the break up she called me on her own account probably 4 times other times i would have to text her and ask her to call me or i would email or call her but she most of the time ignored me sometimes she would text me back. Finally after the first month she met me still seeing this guy she kissed very physically hugged me all over me. I since have stopped pills and drinking only socially a few times i also lost 30 pounds i did because i wanted to show her id change. Next day she said she regretted that and she was just emotional. She said i want to be friends and shed always be in my life. A week later she got in a fight with the guy and called me told me i sound sexy she missed me my family and we were gonna see each other again but 2 days later she canceled and come to find out she made up with the guy. She still was texting me sometimes but its been a game of her ignoring me a lot and finally would call if i asked. When she did she would sometimes say things like your my ex and im not talking to you all the time. I had been trying to have her talk about why she really left i wanted closure and she never gave me a conversation about why she left what were the real reasons. I just wanted to know. Anytime we met or she did talk it wasnt about our breakup she would always try to avoid that. Finally 2 weeks ago she calls me at night and starts talking as though we are friendly again saying things like hows your family and wanting to know what ive been up to then i realize somethings not right and i say so you broke up with him again didnt you? She said yes that he lives to far away and shes not really into him anyway. we talked for an hour. I then ask if i can see her the next day she said yes. So the next day comes she texts me saying she cant see me something came up. I said whatever just see me eventually she did we went out for a drink she held my had i apologized to her for the alcohol and pills and told her how much i did of them and i regret it all and i have changed and she saw i lost all the weight. She wanted a hug i didnt because i wanted to show her i could be friends i didnt want to show her i was begging her back. When i told her about the pills she got emotional cause she didnt think i was doing it that much. I got emotional held her hand told her i was sorry. When we left i didnt hug her i put my fingers through her hair told her i loved her and i was sorry. She told me she made up with the guy that day and she had to call him. The next day i try to text her saying im sorry and she was ignoring me she then gets back saying its ok shes fine doesnt hate me. Anyway Saturday comes and shes with the guy and ignoring me she then finally says in a text good luck no hate take care you said you were happy i was happy and found someone who treats me good ( which i said cause i did want to make her think i wanted friendship). That was the last she said and has ignored me since. I havent texted her and called her once cause she didnt let me finish all i was trying to say when we went out. So ive sent emails to her probably too many all in all probably a 2 page letter if you added up all the emails. She didnt respond but one time and said again good luck no hate. So with all this what is she thinking. I was an as*hole to her sometimes because of my attitude which i regret as well as hiding that i was doing pills all the time which was for a year. it affected my attitude my health but now i feel and look a lot better after loosing all this weight. Ive been on a few dates but i didnt really connect with these woman and thought of my ex. How do i get over her? Is it truly done with her at this point? Why did she play games with me all the 2 months. And why is she ignoring me now completely? She only calls me when she gets in a fight with this new guy. I will say in all honesty and im not trying to sound like im brad pitt but i am far better looking then the guy especially now after i lost all this weight and not just me saying it. The problem is i still love her we had far more great times then bad ones. I would take her back but now i think i have to move on but this has truly messed me up the games shes played of going back and forth with me. please help!
MTmama Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 (edited) It sounds like she has moved on. You mentioned that she is playing games. Do you really think so? If so, can you find the closure you need and look to the future? Have you thought of talking to a counselor, someone who might be able to help you find the closure that you need? I hope you find what you are looking for. Edited November 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author mannon Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Yes i believe she has moved on now it is week 3 of not hearing anything from her i have emailed her and she responded last week to one of them just saying good luck no hate again lol. ive tried to get her back ive tried to reach out to her to tell her im sorry for everything i really just thought she still loved me because through out the 2 months of the breakup she had texted me and called me on her own account. Yes ive done it alot because as i said she sent me mixed signals and not only that but she has told me anything as far as me getting some closure as far as what really bothered her and what was the issues. I mean i know most of them. But even when she first broke it off even 3 weeks ago when i saw her she made it seem as though we could still just say hi once in a while. Now shes completely shut me out of her life. By the way she is handling this from what others are telling me they say that it is wrong that she should atleast have not played games from the start. That she should have atleast given me the respect of telling me why she cannot talk to me anymore given me some type of closure so i myself can move on. Anyway i am doing good now as far as not doing bad things which again thats why this has made me more emotional then anything i havent tried to hide from anything as i normally would. I have lost tons of weight and got very healthy. i have been on a few dates however i just didnt really connect with them. I think after all of this im learning i just need to readjust to living alone make some new friends its ok to date but just date meet people. All in all i just dont understand why my ex couldnt give me an email to tell me anything to end our 5 years on. It makes me wonder why???? does anybody know why she wouldnt give me that respect and all she could say is good luck no hate???
Author mannon Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 And sorry i will just say i am very hurt by her not atleast emailing me and saying anything. she has changed her number . i know she had been reading my emails because i did do a read receipt i just wanted to make sure i wasnt writing the emails for nothing. Its just bothered me so much she couldnt say anything after i saw her she just vanished when i saw her she made it seem like everything would be ok with us as we still cared for each other. If she would have emailed me and said these were the issues this is why im ignoring maybe in the future we can talk again i would atleast get some closure and not feel as though the 5 years we had meant nothing. Im truly hurt and im trying to move on but now i feel as though she hates me and has animosity towards me. I just want to know why she couldnt email me?
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