oldboy Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I broke up with my ex of 2 years 18 months ago, because I felt that I had fallen out of love with her. I am 33 years old, but inexperienced in love; this was my second serious relationship. Two months after the breakup, I realised I may have made a mistake and tried to get back together with her, however, at that point it was too late. I realise now that I really loved her and the connection we had was amazing, and unlike anything I have experienced before. This may seem contradictory as I felt I had fallen out of love. I realise now however that I was suffering from serious depression-something I have suffered with all my life. My life has deteriorated ever since the breakup, and despite following strict NC, seeing various therapists, and generally trying to rebuild my life, I just cant move on. Unfortunately, things seem to be getting worse not better. The more I try to move on and meet new people, the more I realise how perfect she was for me. At the time, no-one else understood why I broke up, all my friends and family told me they thought we were a perfect couple and therefore have little sympathy for me now. I feel like I will never get over this. I know I made a mistake. I just want to move on. However, unless I find another girl as great as her, which at this point seems impossible, I am left with the daunting prospect of feeling this way for ever. Will it ever get any easier ?
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I wish u were my ex! Lol x u will get there, are u sure it wouldn't be worth telling Her how u feel? x
Author oldboy Posted October 29, 2014 Author Posted October 29, 2014 Yeah. been there. She has already moved on and has been together with new bf for a year now. I got in touch about 3 months ago, as I had to let her know how I felt. She was very understanding, but let me know she is very happy with her new bf and there is no chance of reconciliation. Therefore I have to let her go. I do not wish to get in the way of her life.
Richiebuoy Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I dont know the answers but just wanted to say I feel for you and wish you all the best.
d0nnivain Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 First you forgive yourself. Realize you weren't in your right frame of mind when you did this. You made a mistake . . . a tough one but nonetheless a mistake. Now tell yourself you found a great girl once you can do it again. Also tell yourself that the timing was wrong then. This time you will find a compatible person & the timing will be good. Then go out & find her. Stop dwelling on what you can't change & move forward.
Author oldboy Posted October 29, 2014 Author Posted October 29, 2014 Thanks for your kind words. I know, I just need to accept my mistake and move on. It is so hard, I still live in the same house as we lived in together, I own the house. Everything here reminds me of her and the future we envisaged together. We also live in a small town and have many mutual friends I have made the decision to go travelling. I am off to India in a month. I really hope this experience will help me move on. It seems desperate, but I cant stay in this town right now.
kbrew Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 The fact is if you wanted to leave when you were with her, then it was justified. Stop second guessing yourself! What your feeling now is 'being on the other side' being a singleton in datesville. Typicall grass is greener effect. Its going to take time, but one day, it will click, you will understand why you did it and understand it was the best. You've just got to percevere. Go on internet dating. Put your feet in the water. After your next encounter, you'll understand. Trust me.
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