Hawkeye2424 Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 Hey everyone. So my boyfriend of over 2 years and me just broke up Monday. We have had some minor issues the past 6 months and contemplated ending it but decided we wanted to be together. I really believe he never cheated on me but he likes to flirt online with other girls. When confronted he said he hasn't been attracted to me lately. He said he was hoping it would come back but it hasn't. hence the breakup. I know I shouldn't want to be with someone like that but deep down I truly love him and thought he was the one. Overall we get along perfectly and have fun and support each other. I can't understand why he would even do that. But the part im having s hard time with is that he didn't even ask me to stay or try to keep me. I talked to him once and he said he doesn't want this and said he didn't want me to get an apartment right away and even offered to let me stay. So I postponed my move and am staying with friends. He hasn't contacted me and ignored a few of my texts (I'm in the process of moving out and it was related to that). So even tho he was a jerk and caused this im feeling so rejected and pathetic cuz I keep waiting for a text or something. What to do?
mammasita Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I'm having a hard time seeing what is complicated about your situation.....It's plain as day to me. Flirting online with other women is still flirting. He's not attracted to you. You loving him is irrelevant, he's still not attracted to you. Even if he did somehow text you and hem and haw about maybe you should give it another try. WHY should you? He isn't dedicated to you 100% like he should be.
Author Hawkeye2424 Posted October 29, 2014 Author Posted October 29, 2014 I guess I should also say he hasn't told anyone we broke up yet which I find weird. Am I being totally naive in thinking this has a chance? Should I just let him go and try to move on with my life even tho I feel like he's my other half? Or are second chances worth taking-hypothetically if he were to want to come back? I'm so confused
mammasita Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I guess I should also say he hasn't told anyone we broke up yet which I find weird. Am I being totally naive in thinking this has a chance? Should I just let him go and try to move on with my life even tho I feel like he's my other half? Or are second chances worth taking-hypothetically if he were to want to come back? I'm so confused Based on him flirting with other women alone, I say yes. That's disrespectful in itself. Pile on top of that the fact that he's unsure about his attraction to you.....Hell yes you need to woman up and cut your losses. All you can control is YOU. If I were a betting woman, I'd put all my money on the fact that he will string you along and be unsure until YOU finally pull the plug. It's in your hands. You can walk away now, or continue to be unsure and unhappy wondering what his next move is and if he will finally realize he wants to be with you (he never will come to this realization BTW) OR do it later and wish you had walked away sooner.
dclan Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 Hey everyone. So my boyfriend of over 2 years and me just broke up Monday. We have had some minor issues the past 6 months and contemplated ending it but decided we wanted to be together. I really believe he never cheated on me but he likes to flirt online with other girls. When confronted he said he hasn't been attracted to me lately. He said he was hoping it would come back but it hasn't. hence the breakup. I know I shouldn't want to be with someone like that but deep down I truly love him and thought he was the one. Overall we get along perfectly and have fun and support each other. I can't understand why he would even do that. But the part im having s hard time with is that he didn't even ask me to stay or try to keep me. I talked to him once and he said he doesn't want this and said he didn't want me to get an apartment right away and even offered to let me stay. So I postponed my move and am staying with friends. He hasn't contacted me and ignored a few of my texts (I'm in the process of moving out and it was related to that). So even tho he was a jerk and caused this im feeling so rejected and pathetic cuz I keep waiting for a text or something. What to do? You guys are probably young right? How old are you?
Zahara Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I guess I should also say he hasn't told anyone we broke up yet which I find weird. Am I being totally naive in thinking this has a chance? Should I just let him go and try to move on with my life even tho I feel like he's my other half? Or are second chances worth taking-hypothetically if he were to want to come back? I'm so confused The fact that he is flirting with other women and has reiterated his lack of attraction and not wanting to further a relationship with you, yes you should move on. And him not announcing the ending is probably a manouver that dumpers use to keep you on the backburner while they transition to the next phase.
Author Hawkeye2424 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 My ex and I were together for over 2 years and broke up about 3 weeks ago. He's a great guy and we really had a great relationship until the past 6 months. He's always been a little hesitant with marriage and kids and I'm older so he was feeling pressured. Nonetheless he started talking to other girls. Not physical but emotional I guess. I broke things off and moved out hoping he'd realize what he was losing. But he was ok with things and never has asked me to stay or come back. He said he hasn't beenattracted to me lately and was hoping it would come back. He said he's not sure if we are over that he needs to figure things out and doesn't want to hurt me anymore. He hasn't contacted me at all. If I texted him he'd answer. We met up about 10 days ago and and I asked him where his head was at and all he said was idk. So I said we should just be done and gave him his key back. The problem is I regretted it almost immediately and tried texting him but now he won't answer any of my texts. I started no contact about 5 days ago. My question is do you think this relationship has a chance? Could he change and come back after realizing the grass isn't greener? Or does it sound like he's dobe for good?
evanescentworld Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 You really know what the answer is already, don't you...? Sad to say, this one's gone. (What is the age difference/gap? It may have a bearing....)
Ducktape Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 It could come back. It could be over. Only him knows. What we know is that you should never break up with someone just to incite a response from him. Adults communicate. Kids play games. You did it twice. After you caught him talking to girls, and after he couldn't give you an answer to if you guys could come back together and you said it's over and handed over the keys. You gotta take the responsibility of your actions. People fall out of love, that's life. And pushing someone around for an answer won't bring him back. If he's confused, give him space. But if he's feeling like that for 6 months, as you say, I wouldn't count on it coming back. Stay in NC, heal and move on!
Author Hawkeye2424 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 I only broke up with because he was talking to other girls and that's cheating to me. We both agreed on needing space so I'm trying to do that now. He knows how I feel but I can't make him do anything. I genuinely love him and thought he was the one. We really did have a great relationship aside from that one issue. Granted it's a big issue but I thought we'd always work it out. I'm really confused about all this.
Ducktape Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 You mean, you had a great relationship, set aside the fact that he doesn't know if he loves you still and is not attracted to your anymore? This sounds harsh, I know. But read it again.
evanescentworld Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Hawkeye2424, you need to let this go. What his deal is, what the possibilities are, what the likelihood is, what he's thinking.... everything is totally immaterial, because it's over, but you're not letting go, and you need to. What is there of any use, benefit or advantage to you, that needs holding on to? What was there in the relationship that nourished and fulfilled you? What of his input, made you feel whole? If you cannot answer those questions without deep thought, or pause, then it was doing everything in opposition to those requirements. Let - it - go.
WillLoveAgain Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 My situation is similar to yours. My boyfriend of almost 3 years told me that he lost interest in the relationship and was interested in dating someone. He told me regrets that he even had those thoughts but he feels guilty that he lied and emotionally cheated on me and that he why he broke up with me. I was willing to forgive but I am so confuse why we couldn't make it work. I was ready to forgive but he left anyways.
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