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How To Avoid Uncivilized Family Members


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Posted

It's not much a big issue indeed, but it is getting on my nerves pretty hard for quite some time when my parents are speaking in a coarse mandarin dialect to me. The language is so foul that when compared with other languages, other languages sound like poems.

 

I told my parents to shun and correct their speech habits because it's not well-like but they simply don't bother. In fact they are proud of ranting and getting out of hand. Plus, they keep repeating the same phrase to get affirmation. It's like the phrase "isn't it?" replaces every single full-stop, in the dialect. I mean, if I disagreed, I would have replied. Why do they have to seek affirmation and why do they not change their bad habits? More importantly how can I avoid having any interactions with them so that they wouldn't be able to affect me? Their manner of speech is by no means not a good influence and I wouldn't want to soak in with them. It definitely affects my self-improvement progress. Please help.

Posted
It definitely affects my self-improvement progress.

 

The irony is stunning.

 

But okay. Simply tell them that not only do they speak a barbaric language, but they also speak so laughably badly that they manage to make said barbaric language sound even worse. Add in the fact that they suck so badly that they're holding you back from the great person you could otherwise be, and I imagine they'd love to minimize interactions with you after that.

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Posted
It definitely affects my self-improvement progress. Please help.

youdunsay,

Genuine self-improvement is more about cultivating -- and actually practicing -- kindness, compassion, understanding, tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness, patience, equanimity, love.

It's the OPPOSITE of the intolerance, hatred, vitriol and judgment that you seem to feel justified and self-righteous and perfect enough to be directing at your parents.

 

I suspect, though, that they are quite good enough to be giving or, if you no longer live with them, to have given you the material things of life...food, shelter, clothing, TV, spending money. How to you judge them on their generosity, caring and ability to do this, or to have done this, for you?

 

Your fear that you will somehow (unconsciously?) end up adopting the bad language habits of your parents is, of course, ridiculous. You are in 100% control of ending up being the refined, cultured, elegant, sophisticated person that you want to be. Those are excellent goals for yourself; but there's no need on Earth or in heaven to judge others who do not aspire to the same.

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Posted

Thank you. I'll keep quiet then.

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