SarahJames Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 What does it mean if your friend with benefits doesn't care that people you both know, know that you hook up? Is that normal for a friend with benefits not to care?
Emilia Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I would imagine so. I'm not aware of it being a secret arrangement, usually.
InsaneTrombone Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 Yeah, why would it matter? I don't think it has to be some super dark secret. If it's really a friends with benefits thing, it can stop with a snap of a finger if it needs to.
Toodaloo Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I would imagine so. I'm not aware of it being a secret arrangement, usually. Even had people introduce others as their F**k buddy... What is there to hide? If you want it to be a secret I would question why and if you are unhappy with people knowing its a casual arrangement again I would question if its the right thing for you...
CarrieT Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 The definition of FWB is different for everyone but for most, they don't care AT ALL who knows it is just a hook-up. And, for many guys, they like the bragging rites of having a consistent hook-up without having to worry about hurting feelings. If you are FEELING disrespected in the arrangement for any reason, than you are more invested in the situation than you should be. Because that is what it is: A Situation = NOT a relationship! Time to call it quits.
Gaeta Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 I would not care HIS friends know. If we have friends in common then I would want him to respect my request that our common friends do not know because it involves my circle of friends not just his. If your FWB is going around telling people YOU are friends with about your arrangement, and this is NOT your wish, end it. 1
oldshirt Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 The definition of FWB is different for everyone but for most, they don't care AT ALL who knows it is just a hook-up. And, for many guys, they like the bragging rites of having a consistent hook-up without having to worry about hurting feelings. If you are FEELING disrespected in the arrangement for any reason, than you are more invested in the situation than you should be. Because that is what it is: A Situation = NOT a relationship! Time to call it quits. Yeah kind of a catch 22 for female. This is going to be sexist and highlight double standard ares but a guy's market value goes up if it's known he has some free poontang on the casual. For a female, her market value typically goes down if it's know she is some dudes side-piece or FWB. So that makes it so she has a vested interest in keeping it secret and he has a vested interest in letting it be known. I'm always for discretion and keeping private matters private but my mother always used to tell me any time I was trying to keep something a secret, I probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place. I you are trying to hide some guy and keep your associations with him a secret, you should probably question whether you should be associating with him at all. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 What does it mean if your friend with benefits doesn't care that people you both know, know that you hook up? Is that normal for a friend with benefits not to care? By definition all FWB is the sex. Your FWB has a big mouth & no sense of discretion. If you don't want your escapades to be public knowledge & fodder for gossip to your friends tell your "friend" to shut up. If he keeps running his mouth, cut off the benefits. 1
PegNosePete Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 a guy's market value goes up if it's known he has some free poontang on the casual. Market value to whom? Most women I know, would regard a guy having regular casual sex as a negative rather than a positive, and it would make them less likely to want to date him. Bang him maybe (if they're into that), but date or enter a relationship, no. "Market value" or reputation amongst his mates will certainly go up....... 4
oldshirt Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 Market value to whom? Most women I know, would regard a guy having regular casual sex as a negative rather than a positive, and it would make them less likely to want to date him. Bang him maybe (if they're into that), but date or enter a relationship, no. "Market value" or reputation amongst his mates will certainly go up....... Even though you are trying to say I'm wrong, you are verifying my position. Everything you've said means his market value goes up.
umirano Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 For a female, her market value typically goes down if it's know she is some dudes side-piece or FWB. Depends on the market. Like there's a market for used cars. And one for new cars. They don't have too much in common, except for cars of some sort being the traded product. But I agree with the overall sentiment of your post.
RedRobin Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 Market value to whom? Most women I know, would regard a guy having regular casual sex as a negative rather than a positive, and it would make them less likely to want to date him. Bang him maybe (if they're into that), but date or enter a relationship, no. "Market value" or reputation amongst his mates will certainly go up....... Agree with this... I won't date men who have had or currently have a FWB. Mostly because I have no interest in being his next FWB. ...as for this guy... Sounds low class. Dump him. Then make sure to tell your friends why.
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