krooton25 Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) We broke up about 6 months ago. we went on NC. I found out that he was cheating on me with another ex-girlfriend and I cut contact with him right away. He then went on a full blown relationship with that girl right after I caught them:cool: I was devastated and almost thought i couldn't get over the humiliation he caused me. After 3 months, he announced to our friends that he is getting married later this year. Six months later, I've moved on. Changed the way I look, I got back into shape etc. And now starting to date other guys. Recently I have been hearing stories from our mutual friends that he had been mentioning me a lot to them. He told them he misses me etc. etc. Until one day, I received a message from him (I am not friends with him anywhere on social media anymore) this came out of the blue. That he wanted to meet up and talk to me. He is suffering, it's been bothering him in like forever. He said that everyday something reminds him of me (or us). (Prior to this about two months ago, i sent him a message telling him that I wish him well and I have forgiven him. He replied but I didn't reply after that) So back to the current message, he was flirting with me. And kind of reminiscing the past. He said he wanted to come to my house to talk to me. I said i will think about it. The thing here is he is getting married in like a month.. well i don't know about the details. But thats what I heard from our friends. Why is he doing this all over again? I told my friend about this and she said that he did told her that he hasn't moved on from our relationship yet. He knows that I have moved on and scared at first to see me. They told me, he couldn't go to certain places because everything him of me ?? Ok what should I do! I miss him and I want to know if i am still madly in love with him. But I'm scared to go back to zero. He treated me like garbage when he cheated and left me for another girl. I feel more confident now however. Edited October 29, 2014 by krooton25
Arieswoman Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 krooton25, Six months later, I've moved on. Changed the way I look, I got back into shape etc. And now starting to date other guys. Great stuff - keep it going ! The thing here is he is getting married in like a month so he's going behind his fiancee's back and meeting you? He doesn't change does he? He treated me like garbage when he cheated and left me for another girl. Don't forget this ^^^^ OK. Here's how I see it. He dumped you for someone else because he wanted a bit of excitement, whatever. Now he's realised (like a lot of dumpers do) that the novelty wears off after a while and reality checks in. He's got the same book but it's just got a different cover, if you like. He's still the same person he was when you were seeing him. He has the same lack of character and same coping strategies(or lack of them). He's checking you out because he wants to see if there is any way back to you because he isn't happy where he is. I would bet you any money if you gave him the green light he would dump his fiancee (like he did you) and come running back to you. Do not meet this selfish immature character. Block him and don't let him pull your strings anymore. I want to know if i am still madly in love with him Why, why, why? Why spoil all that splendid hard work you have done with your healing just to rip the stitches out and open the wound again? Please stop all contact with this cheater and carry on with working on that wonderful relationship that you have with you. Good luck.x 1
Lernaean_Hydra Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 As much as you might think you want or even need to see him and as good as you might think winning him back from the girl he cheated with might make you feel, always remember the fact that he is a gross habitual cheater. He asked her to marry him, he did it. No one forced him or put a gun to his head, he chose to ask her to be his wife of his own volition, yet even with all that, he's still going behind her back and talking to you. It would be one thing if he cheated, you left and he realized the grave mistake he'd made so he came back crawling back to you, SINGLE, remorseful and looking for a second chance. However that's not what's happening here. What's actually happening? He let his dick lead him astray, dove in head first with his OW then started having doubts. But rather than act with integrity and end things with her he's opted to do to her exactly what he did to you. Don't trust this man. It's clear he has so little respect for his partners and so little understanding of what it means to be in a committed relationship it's almost hard to believe. Stop entertaining his BS. As an aside, did she know she was the OW? If she did, the morally bankrupt and vengeful side of me would say sleep with him then tell her all about it. But don't do that, that's not healthy behavior. 3
PegNosePete Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 If I were you, I'd tell him to go fk himself! 1
Diezel Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 He is trying to get in a last minute cheat. Remember how you felt when he cheated on you? Okay, how do you think you are going to feel when you realize he did the same thing to his "fiancee" but with YOU? I can't believe you are honestly contemplating this. I can honestly tell you that you are NOT feeling more confident now. If you were, this thread wouldn't exist. You should have started the thread with "6 months later, I've moved on... KINDA." 3
Author krooton25 Posted October 29, 2014 Author Posted October 29, 2014 Guys I'm not that experienced when it comes to relationships thats why I'm asking coz i could be really stupid with my decisions He was the first serious relationship i had and we dated for 3 yrs.
d0nnivain Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 Who cares why he is reaching out? Nothing good can come of it as far as you are concerned. Ignore him. I might even let it be known to the mutual friends so it gets back to him that you want nothing to do with him. 2
cif Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 Guys I'm not that experienced when it comes to relationships thats why I'm asking coz i could be really stupid with my decisions He was the first serious relationship i had and we dated for 3 yrs. Of course he wants you.. LOOK AT WHAT HE'S LOST *FOREVER*. Plus, you've been ignoring him. That's like an aphrodisiac for guys. If you want to meet with him to see if feelings are still there then I will help out: yes, emotions will come back and you will start NC from 0. Nothing will change the fact that he's a cheater. He proved this to you. And people who cheat have a sensitivity chip missing. It won't change (see how he's going behind his fiance back to see you). Had he not betrayed you, I would have said yes go see him. BTW, I could have written your post. It's a struggle with the "what-if's". Fight it because you're worth so much more than a cheating liar. 2
Shockwave Posted October 29, 2014 Posted October 29, 2014 What's he thinking you say? He either wants to get you back or cheat on his fiance with you. Just like he cheated on you with her, remember? You're thinking about the old him. If you meet him you can go back to the way it was. Sorry to say he's not that person anymore. He's showed you who he is. Why do you want someone like that? Also, do you want to endure this with him again? Most likely, IF you were to give him the green light it would only be a matter of time before he starts looking for someone new to cheat with. I can almost guarantee it. He did it once and you (hypothetically) took him back. He's thinking most likely will be; I got away with it once why not again. I know you'd like to meet him but as someone said, nothing good will come from it. You deserve better. Find a cool, fun good guy who isn't looking at the grass on the other side of the fence. 1
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