I [20M] found out my girlfriend [20F] cheated on me during the Summer vacation.

[BearBeary]

Last night I checked my GF's phone and found out that her ex-boyfriend in high school had been sending her "love/caring" messages non-stop. After reading through their message history, apparently she just hooked up with him during Summer break, and a few days ago decided to break up with him because she doesn't want long-distance relationship (cross-country), and the dude was trying to get her back.

 

I was totally blown away by that incident, couldn't sleep well, eat well or concentrate well in class. I need some advice of how should I handle this, in the meantime I feel so sick and depressed trying to pretend I know nothing about the affair. Even though, she has been treating me really nice lately, I just don't know if I should believe in her anymore.

 

Some background about us:

 

- We did not see each other during the 4 months of Summer break. Only texting.

- I have been with this girl in my college for over a year now.

- For some stupid reasons I didn't really care too much about her for the first year, all we did were basically eating and watching movies together.

- Always strongly refuses to have sex with me.

- We had a serious talk during our anniversary 2 months ago, I promised her I would change and really take everything seriously (which I did tried my best).

- Then she began to accept my more and more. I started to have some feelings of being in a real relationship.

- She told me she was still a virgin, but one of the message I saw was the dude worrying about if she's pregnant because she hadn't have period for a long time.

- I have been behaving well in terms of my relationship with other females the whole time.

- I think the dude doesn't know my existence. Plus he doesn't have any social media accounts.

 

Here are some of my problems about her:

- She chose to engage in another relationship without breaking up with me first. The fact that she thinks it's "okay" to do this reallllllllly disgusts me.

- She made the decision of breaking up with the dude only 1 week ago. This one hurts me the most. I was really giving my 100% on her after our serious talk 2 months ago, and she was still treating the other guy like a boyfriend for almost 2 months.

- Lastly my main concern about why I didn't break up immediately:

- I am kind of a socially awkward kid. While my appearance often looked like the opposite, being in a college with 40k people for 3 years, I honestly don't have any close friends. I mean I can't even find someone that I can comfortably ask to have a drink with. I have been diagnosed with ADHD this May, which probably explains why my life is such a mess. Losing her is almost like losing the only "close friend" in my life. The fear of being lonely really makes me double-think every step I make about this situation.

 

Aaaaaaaaand I still love her deeply.

 

tl;dr: From GF's phone message I found that she recently ended an affair started at the beginning of May back in her hometown. I feel sad and helpless, need some advice about what to do.

[d0nnivain]

The only thing you can do is walk away & move on.

 

She probably likes the idea of having a local guy: you at school & him at home but that's not fair to either of you.