Can a rebound turn into something serious?

[tory1012]

So break up was two months ago and I am always the type of person to stay single after a break up and work on myself.

 

the last one I went through the denial stage of wanting them back but I finally just let go and decided to move on with my life.

 

But there has been curveball thrown at me - I have met somebody else who i get along with so well, find attractive and all that.

 

I'm scared this is a rebound and I'm just wondering if they ever work out? i really like him and the last thing I want to do is hurt somebody.

 

Are all rebounds doomed to fail?

 

LS advice please

[therealmsfree]

I love the fact that you stay single after each break up. That says a lot about you. I admire that. It's something I failed to do and paid the price later on in my 20's.

 

Anyhow, I think you should put him on a 90 day trial period. Go out on dates, get to know him, have fun conversations, but absolutely NO SEX. Doing this gives you time to get to know him as a person, as well as, let's you continue to focus on yourself as you always do when your in between relationships.

 

There's no harm in dating and going out and having fun, just don't claim him until he's proven himself. This approach will give you time to see if you are attracted to him because you are on the rebound or if your feelings are true.

 

Hope that helps!

 

~Ms. Free

[sly_fly1]

it can. my rebound worked out my baby mom dumped me after 5 years. then went crazy n really mean, i found my rebound n we stuck with eachother,. my rebound bailed on me, then came back to realize that we really did love eachother. now were together and happy, 4 years, so the way i look at it is you got nothing to lose

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

Of course they aren't. And not everyone you date shortly after a break-up is a rebound, either. Here's how you know:

 

1) Do you genuinely like the person, and not just an image of them?

2) Do you feel comfortable taking it slowly?

3) Are you able to appreciate them without constantly comparing them to your ex?

4) Do you still have feelings of grief or confusion about your breakup?

5) Are you content to spend time by yourself?

 

If you can answer "yes" to all of these questions, you probably aren't in a rebound. (Contrary to what you might think, I believe you should have some kind of grief or bad feelings shortly after a serious breakup. If you don't then it likely means you're numb or in denial, which will bite you in the ass later.) Also, if you can be open with your new partner about what you're experiencing without using them as a crutch, you'll be better off for it.

 

While it's always best to be in the healthiest frame of mind possible before starting a new relationship, there's no rhyme or reason to when we fall in love. Don't worry too much about it being a rebound or too soon. Just take it slowly and be aware of your emotional health.

[LifeNomad]

Take it as it comes, if its working its working.....

 

i posted a question a few days ago how long to wait before moving on, in my case after 13 yr relationship, im almost 3.5 months into breakup and the couple replies were pretty much there is no wait period.

 

Idk if u feel like me, i feel a little guilty for feeling happy, for thinking about someone, for looking forward, like im doing something wrong, but the truth is, my ex left on her own accord, were no longer together, and living seperate lives.

 

Do what makes u happy now, not what made u happy in the past, or what u think will make u happy in the future.

[tory1012]

Thanks for your guys advice,

 

I'm definently taking this very slowly and having fun dating!

 

I'm not jumping into anything too quickly and am just having a really good time. My main focus right now is surviving on my own! Making a new life for myself and becoming financially stable.

[OK_computer]

HEY! If it can happen in the movies, it can happen in real life! How many movies you see where the rebound is actually a sole mate, like 10000000 chick flicks? Go for it!