redheaded-squirrel Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 (edited) Hello everyone, I am new here, hoping to get some unbiased views on my situation. But I have to warn you, it will be a long post :-) I have known this guy for 2 yrs, we went to high school together and became friend before the finals. I was hoping that we could be more than friends because we were so similar and he seemed like a special guy - you know, the kind of gentleman Jane Austen wrote about. Very intelligent, thoughful, respectful, and somewhat introverted and serious, but really a true young gentleman. But I have given up on anything more than friendship then, because he was about to start a university in the UK while I was moving to Brussels. We lost contact but after about 6 months, he sent me a FB message responding to my post and I found out that he didn't go to the UK, but is also in Belgium. We've been messaging since then and we met a couple of times during the summer. I expected nothing more than a brief meeting over coffee as former classmates, but we talked for 5 hours straight every time, very personal things...he even said his parents would like to meet me (?), that we should meet up when we are back in Belgium. So I got my hopes up and I even talked to a mutual friend who knows him much better than I do - she said that I should definitely make a move, because "he is so shy that he could love you, but he will never pursue you." Now go figure... He cancelled the meeting and shrugged it off by saying he is busy with uni (so am I, but we are only 2-hour train ride apart?!). So I did the same, I said I am extremely busy with school and extracurriculars and stuff and that I will contact him later. I wasn't planning to, I just wanted him to stop sending me these looong messages - they were kind, nice and personal, but I started to fall in love with him because we have gotten to know each other so much better - but I wanted to forget about him. But he didn't take my hint and responded immediately...he keeps in contact just like before, but I truly don't understand why. Sometimes, when he takes long to reply or something, I think "wake up, he's just not that into you." And then I wonder why would he be so open with me if he didn't like me, why would he compliment me so much and put himself down at the same time...If he is as busy as he claims and is unintrested, why he keeps in contact? He should be happy that I would stop messaging him...And if he just wants to be friends, why is he so personal with me, even caring...none of my other friends does this, with them it is much more casual (one-of-the-guys-kinda-feeling) So if you have any thoughts on why could he be acting like this, I'd be grateful, because I am torn between keeping in contact (and falling in love), or cutting him off. Thanks. Edited October 28, 2014 by redheaded-squirrel
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 He may like you but be uncertain of how you feel or just shy / young in general. Keep the lines of communication open but drop a few hints that you would be open to more than friends. You could also just cut to the chase & ask him out.
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