Hawaii27 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Hello, I would really appreciate some advice. I am nearly 29 and I'm a virgin. It's really because I have been waiting for someone I liked. There have been people that I have liked but it has never worked out. I'm getting to the point where I want to get my first time out of the way. It seems long over due and is starting to become this massive issue for me and I don't want to reach 30 and still be in the same boat. I wish I wasn't in this position and i could be more laid back about sex. The more time that passes the scarier it becomes and the more elusive it seems to be. Someone I knew from school has been texting me and has basically said he wants to sleep with me. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to tell him I'm a virgin because I don't want him to tell anyone I know from school and feel embarrassed but he will probably be able to tell I'm inexperienced anyway. I'm also worried he will tell his friends all the details. The problem is, his texts really do it for me but I know that he only wants sex, he doesn't really want to talk about anything else. At my low points i want to sleep with him but on my stronger days i want to hold out for someone i like. He may be around the corner. But it doesn't seem to be happening for me. In a way i don't want this opportunity to pass and to think what if? I'm really confused about it.
Redhead14 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 You should never sleep with someone just to sleep with them. Find someone you are at least genuinely attracted to and have some kind of connection with. You say this guy just plain wants to sleep with you . . . it will be an empty experience for you. And, don't forget, most of the time a woman can't help but get a little emotionally involved in sleeping with someone. It will hurt if you're not "experienced". And, by experienced, I don't mean a slut. Date a bunch of guys for a while until you feel that connection with one at least. 2
Author Hawaii27 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 thanks for this. I think you're confirming what my gut is already telling me. but i needed to hear it!
Redhead14 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 thanks for this. I think you're confirming what my gut is already telling me. but i needed to hear it! Yes, I understand. Sometimes you just need a little wake up call to your ownself. That's why we have this site All the best to you. 1
ses Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Ditto. Don't be ashamed about being a virgin. Any guy who makes a big deal out of it is not worth your time nor effort. I would definitely recommend telling the person so they know how to prepare. I was one until 25 (fairly recently), and lost it to a guy whom I had known for 6 years. I had initially refrained from telling him, but eventually did so because I trusted him and knew my inexperience would show. He was a few years older and more experienced but very understanding and tried to make the experience as enjoyable and pain-free for me. Sex can be emotional for both parties and you'll probably always remember your first time. I've learned that the best sex occurs when you're relaxed and completely trust your partner. Don't sell yourself short. 1
Author Hawaii27 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 It made me quite emotional when you said "don't sell yourself short". Thank you for saying that
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Virginity is not a disease to be gotten rid of. Hold out for someone you love. It's really a very intimate act. You are taking another person inside of your body. If you aren't truly connected to that person for your 1st time it can be an unsettling experience.
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