jbentley87 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Just curious but has anybody taken a vacation (or as the Brits say, holiday) with their ex shortly after breaking up? Maybe it was a vacation that was pre-planned before the break or maybe it was a vacation that was planned after the break. I would love to know if anyone has done this and what the experience was like and if there were any positives/negatives as a result.
SoThatHappened Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 I haven't, nor would I ever. I read a story on here about a guy that went on a cruise with his family, his ex, and her family. The trip was planned prior to their breakup. It didn't go well for him. She asked for space (according to your original thread). Going on vacation with her is the opposite of giving her space. It's also a great way to ruin days off from work while you're supposed to be having fun.
Dontfindme Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 I have had the displeasure of paying for a trip to Vegas (just the Hotel, thank God I didn't shell out for more) with my ex coming up at the end of the year. The hotel keeps calling me, literally every day this past week, to confirm if we will be attending, and to book dates - it was a promotional offer. Going on a vacation with the person who dumped me is like rubbing salt on a stab mark. Not gonna torture myself. I'd rather cut my losses. 1
Zahara Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Having been on LS for quite awhile, I've come across threads like yours. A few that I remember: The guy on the cruise that went with the ex and her family -- it was a difficult and painful experience for him. The one where the dumper (male) and dumpee (female) had an amazing time during vacation (specifically for the guy since he got all the fun, sex and companionship he wanted), and she thought he was going to reconcile with her but as soon as they got home, break-up was still enforced and she was in tremendous pain. The one where they went on vacation and the guy hooked up with another woman during the vacation. If it was a pre-planned vacation, cancel it because it just isn't worth it. If it was planned after the break -- I don't see why anyone would plan a vacation with an ex after an ending. 4
LifeGoesOnMan Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 been there, waste of time & money, for me at least. 1
LifeNomad Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 def don't do it man, I mean unless your in the stage where things may be rekindling, re-romancing, re-dating phase where both of you feel that funny feeling when you like someone Otherwise, you will argue, fight, maybe have sex which will make things worse for either you or her if one of you isn't planning on getting back together. Many things can go wrong, especially if one still has feelings for the other.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Haven't done a vacation, but did a pre-planned weekend with the ex that brought me here, her sister, and her husband (my best friend) six weeks after our break. I wouldn't advise it. The first part was cold and awkward, the second part when she started warming up to me and interacting with me kind of like she did before just served as further confusion.
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 My current boyfriend did this, actually. He and his ex had been planning a trip to visit a big group of friends and they went ahead with the trip. Because he was the dumper and had pretty simple reasons for ending the relationship, he said he felt completely fine and had a good time with their friends. But it was extremely hard for his ex-girlfriend, who was still struggling with the breakup. They had already lived together a while after they broke up as they worked out ending the lease, getting new places, etc. They had been together for four years so they couldn't just go NC and not see each others' friends anymore. They still interact and go out together in big groups (for example, a mutual friend's birthday). He is always very friendly. She tends to be passive-aggressive and is clearly still very hurt, but she usually masks it well. Honestly, I think she's a saint. I cannot imagine having to live with my ex-boyfriend and acting like I'm totally cool with the breakup. I probably would have strangled him. I think it comes down to who did the dumping and what the point of the vacation is. If you're going to a wedding, or to visit friends, or to some kind of party/concert/event, that might not be so bad. If it's just the two of you the whole time that would probably be excruciating. And if there are any unresolved feelings it might be super uncomfortable.
Lostdreams Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 (edited) Coincidental timing on this question lol I'm planned on a 3 day weekend with 20 friends mid January - my ex will be there we are broken up since 4 months - me being the dumpee. In January it will be another 2.5 months of water under the bridge for me ..... he is probably not even looking back or counting the time. 6 weeks ago I asked him not to join this event - we are totally NC - but this was during one email exchange where he cancelled our appointment to exchange our stuff. He then agreed not to go to the event if it was a burden for me. A week ago we got a group email with more details about the meet up - and then I thought what the hell - I wrote him a one liner saying if he wants he shouldn't cancel - he wrote me back with - Are you sure ? - obviously I didn't answer that - saying it once is enough surely I had started feeling.... well kind of childish for spoiling the fun of our mutual friends - it's an annual get together since years. I am now feeling more rational about the break up, the sadness has mostly gone, the anger persists slightly. Now - will I be totally indifferent by January ? Honestly no, I don't think so. Do I want to be friends with him ? No absolutely not - not now, not ever But I already know that I would never take him back should he ever make that step which I very much doubt. I don't know him today - the man I loved has left the building - I only miss who he was and not who he is today. I feel like we have become complete strangers - I have no interest in his life or his future. So I freed myself from feeling petty and childish and I will stick with my close friends during that weekend. I feel really at peace with this decision - time and NC really does heal PS: If he also decides not to go I won't be disappointed either PPS We still didn't exchange our stuff nor even talk about it again ....... one day we will.... it's no longer a priority for me - it never was for him. This milestone I wanted is no longer a milestone anymore - my life is now too busy happening to lose any sleep over this. Edited October 28, 2014 by Lostdreams
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