GuskeGee Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 This has been a wild rollercoaster ride, to be honest. This girl I've been texting with for a while now has been showing pretty strong interest. Suddenly, she started taking longer to reply (sometimes five hours, sometime a day), but then went back into responding almost right away. This confused me a lot. When I asked her out, she seemed very happy, but let me know that she's "busy, but she would love to go out and will see if she's able to find time." That sounded like a rejection, right? Well, I thought so too until I contacted her a few days later... A few days later I simply asked "Hey, what do you say about Friday?" I kinda expected her to give me the whole "we'll see" speech, BUT... She COUNTER-OFFERED! She said "I'm so sorry, but I'm really busy this Friday. Next week on the weekend I guarantee I have plenty of time and we can go out for sure." That sounded like she was REALLY sorry and REALLY wants to make it up to me and meet me. There's no other reason for her to suggest a pretty specific time and guarantee me that she won't be busy. BUT ladies and gents! The story is not over yet! Just before she counter-offered, she apologized and seemed very honest. Then she suggested when SHE had time. Cool, right? I thought that since there are a few days until the date, and a few days after our last convo, I'd just text her. I just texted her something bland and generic along the lines of "Hey girl, how was your weekend?" The message was almost immediately "seen and read" but two days later.. no response. Sure, the text wasn't about our date or anything, but her lack of response sure confused me. Now, I don't want her to flake on me, so I'm really thinking of cancelling the date or just letting her know that something's come along and I don't know if I'll make it? Just to turn the table around because something's telling me SHE will be doing the same in a few days. What do you guys think? Any advice?
Brooke02 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 I say instead of canceling something that's really not set, just stop texting her. Don't bring up the date see if she texts you about it. Back off and see how she responds. 1
PegNosePete Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Dude you're way overthinking this stuff. She agreed to a date. She probably used the busy line because she's juggling other social appointments (either other guys, friends, family - who knows). Sending a vague generic text like you did, isn't really a good thing to do before even 1 date. Hardly surprising she didn't reply, she doesn't want to discuss her day with someone she barely knows. So now you're considering playing some kind of immature power game with her, by threatening to cancel, just in case she cancels. WTF. Dude you should just not text her any more, except the night before, just say you're looking forward to the date tomorrow and is she still up for it. If no reply to that, then you can worry. 1
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 A few days later I simply asked "Hey, what do you say about Friday?" I kinda expected her to give me the whole "we'll see" speech, BUT... She COUNTER-OFFERED! She said "I'm so sorry, but I'm really busy this Friday. Next week on the weekend I guarantee I have plenty of time and we can go out for sure." That is NOT a counter offer, sorry. That is her getting rid of you. She is shoving her problem ahead to deal with it later. A counter offer is about Friday 9 pm at that pub! That's a counter offer. There is nothing you can do, she lost interest. Keep some of your pride while you have some left and move on to someone that REALLY wants to get to know you.
PegNosePete Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Hmm did you actually set a specific date, time sand place then? I thought you had, but other posters seem to think you didn't. Reading your OP again it seems a bit vague. Did you actually set a date, or what??
Arieswoman Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Guskegee, I really don't get all this texting business. If you want to know what's going on why not just pick up a phone and actually speak to the girl and ask her ?? Duh....
ExpatInItaly Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 No, don't play games. It's a waste of your time. Don't initiate any contact for a couple days. If the weekend rolls around and you've heard nothing, I would call her (not text!) and verify if she still wants to go out. Then you'll have your answer. At this point, she sounds somewhat interested but not overly enthusiastic. 1
oberkeat Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 This has been a wild rollercoaster ride, to be honest. This girl I've been texting with for a while now has been showing pretty strong interest. Suddenly, she started taking longer to reply (sometimes five hours, sometime a day), but then went back into responding almost right away. This confused me a lot. When I asked her out, she seemed very happy, but let me know that she's "busy, but she would love to go out and will see if she's able to find time." That sounded like a rejection, right? Well, I thought so too until I contacted her a few days later... A few days later I simply asked "Hey, what do you say about Friday?" I kinda expected her to give me the whole "we'll see" speech, BUT... She COUNTER-OFFERED! She said "I'm so sorry, but I'm really busy this Friday. Next week on the weekend I guarantee I have plenty of time and we can go out for sure." That sounded like she was REALLY sorry and REALLY wants to make it up to me and meet me. There's no other reason for her to suggest a pretty specific time and guarantee me that she won't be busy. BUT ladies and gents! The story is not over yet! Just before she counter-offered, she apologized and seemed very honest. Then she suggested when SHE had time. Cool, right? I thought that since there are a few days until the date, and a few days after our last convo, I'd just text her. I just texted her something bland and generic along the lines of "Hey girl, how was your weekend?" The message was almost immediately "seen and read" but two days later.. no response. Sure, the text wasn't about our date or anything, but her lack of response sure confused me. Now, I don't want her to flake on me, so I'm really thinking of cancelling the date or just letting her know that something's come along and I don't know if I'll make it? Just to turn the table around because something's telling me SHE will be doing the same in a few days. What do you guys think? Any advice? I would delete her number and stop wasting your time with her. There's nothing confusing about any of her actions: the preponderance of evidence here suggests that she's simply not that interested in you. Never once did she offer you a specific date and time to get together. That's a necessity if a girl turns you down or cancels a date. Someone who is interested in you will find a way to make a time for you, no matter how 'busy' they are. 2
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 She's done with you...just stringing you along. Call it quits, this has been going on too long. 1
Redhead14 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 I would delete her number and stop wasting your time with her. There's nothing confusing about any of her actions: the preponderance of evidence here suggests that she's simply not that interested in you. Never once did she offer you a specific date and time to get together. That's a necessity if a girl turns you down or cancels a date. Someone who is interested in you will find a way to make a time for you, no matter how 'busy' they are. Yep, if I am truly interested in a guy, I'll respond to any text he sends as soon as I can. If he asks me on a date, I'll go on the date when he asks. If I'm actually busy that day, I'll offer another specific day. In addition, if I'm really interested, some times, I will rearrange my schedule to accommodate. If a woman isn't making it clear that she's interested, why would you keep trying? You are questioning it, her interest isn't clear. Same for a woman, if it's not clear, don't go out with them. There are one off's sometimes, but usually there's something there that just makes you think it's worth forging on. But she's isn't giving enough here as far as I can tell. 1
Author GuskeGee Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 That is NOT a counter offer, sorry. That is her getting rid of you. She is shoving her problem ahead to deal with it later. A counter offer is about Friday 9 pm at that pub! That's a counter offer. There is nothing you can do, she lost interest. Keep some of your pride while you have some left and move on to someone that REALLY wants to get to know you. Dude, if you google "counter offer" you'll see that is indeed a counter offer. A counter offer is anything from "How about friday at 9 pm" to "I'm really busy this week, how about next weekend?" which is what she texted (surely it was without the question mark, but she offered next weekend). Try to do some research before jumping to conclusions. Rarely is a counter offer with a specific time.
PegNosePete Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Try to do some research before jumping to conclusions. Rarely is a counter offer with a specific time. Can you link to your research to prove that assertation? Gaeta and the others are right, if the counter-offer was as vague as the whole weekend then you haven't even set a date yet. You have nothing - sorry.
Author GuskeGee Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 Hmm did you actually set a specific date, time sand place then? I thought you had, but other posters seem to think you didn't. Reading your OP again it seems a bit vague. Did you actually set a date, or what?? No, she offered me when she had time, which is this weekend. I asked her about Friday night, but she said she's busy but has time next weekend.
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Dude, if you google "counter offer" you'll see that is indeed a counter offer. A counter offer is anything from "How about friday at 9 pm" to "I'm really busy this week, how about next weekend?" which is what she texted (surely it was without the question mark, but she offered next weekend). Try to do some research before jumping to conclusions. Rarely is a counter offer with a specific time. Its a brush off counter offer. She doesn't give you anything specific because she wants to keep it open so that when she tells you she gets called into work or "I thought I was going to have time but..." Or she's keeping you on the hook in case her other guy doesn't work out. 1
Elias33 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 You cannot control the other person. Remember that when dating. It will keep you from over thinking and trying to grasp control. Do your own thing, and see what happens. If you think you deserve an immediate response, then find a person who gives you just that. You are being put on the back burner, if not in the cupboard. So in your mind, register this, and do the same. Keep calm over this.
PegNosePete Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 No, she offered me when she had time, which is this weekend. I asked her about Friday night, but she said she's busy but has time next weekend. So call her up and ask her what time, and where. I bet you a cheese sandwich that you get a brush off. 1
Zahara Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 When I am interested in a guy, I'll make time and I will look forward to my dates/meetings with him. And if there is a cancellation on my part, there will surely be a follow-up date/time for when I can meet him again. And if he is sending me a casual text to say hello, I'd be sure to answer it. It's really very simple. All this analysing and game playing is useless. You have a set date/time to meet her for your next date. Sit back and wait to see if she follows-up. You'll have your answer. 1
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 OMG IS THIS THE SAME GIRL WHO YOU FOUND OUT WAS DATING ANOTHER GUY WHILE YOU WERE AWAY?? If this is the same girl...after all this time she has not been out with you...she is NOT interested...she's going out with the other guy. Say bye bye...it's not gonna happen. 1
Author GuskeGee Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 Can you link to your research to prove that assertation? Gaeta and the others are right, if the counter-offer was as vague as the whole weekend then you haven't even set a date yet. You have nothing - sorry. The Counter-Offer (Or Lack Thereof) | Just Call HerJust Call Her Dating on Your Terms | Girls Chase There. All give examples of both specific and non-specific offers, which all are counted as a counter offer.
Standard-Fare Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 So you haven't even met her in person yet? Jeez, WAY too much texting/analyzing. It's possible she's just not a huge fan of texting, and/or doesn't see the point in texting extensively with someone she hasn't even met. It was a mistake to text her after the weekend, but that's done. She should be the one getting in touch with you about the upcoming plans. So just hang back and see what happens. If she isn't in touch with you by Friday, you could give her one final chance -- "Are we still down for this weekend? I was thinking drinks at __ on Saturday evening."
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Dude, if you google "counter offer" you'll see that is indeed a counter offer. A counter offer is anything from "How about friday at 9 pm" to "I'm really busy this week, how about next weekend?" which is what she texted (surely it was without the question mark, but she offered next weekend). Try to do some research before jumping to conclusions. Rarely is a counter offer with a specific time. I am a dudette ! And yes a counter offer is how about next weekend? THEN you're suppose to close it with 'about Saturday', and she goes 'Saturday is good' and you decide on a time. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Dude, if you google "counter offer" you'll see that is indeed a counter offer. A counter offer is anything from "How about friday at 9 pm" to "I'm really busy this week, how about next weekend?" which is what she texted (surely it was without the question mark, but she offered next weekend). Try to do some research before jumping to conclusions. Rarely is a counter offer with a specific time. Take it from a woman: that was not really a counter-offer. If I were excited to see a guy, a counter-offer would indeed involved a specific day. Google should not be your source of information when it comes to dating and women. 2
Author GuskeGee Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 I am a dudette ! And yes a counter offer is how about next weekend? THEN you're suppose to close it with 'about Saturday', and she goes 'Saturday is good' and you decide on a time. Sorry No, that was a HUGE mistake on my part. I actually told her I'd contact her mid-week and tell her when it'd be good for me. That was our 'agreement.' Pretty bad, huh?
PegNosePete Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 The Counter-Offer (Or Lack Thereof) | Just Call HerJust Call Her Dating on Your Terms | Girls Chase There. All give examples of both specific and non-specific offers, which all are counted as a counter offer. I don't see any statistical research on those "how to pick up women sites" that you linked, suggesting that either one type or the other is more commonly given. But the fact is, you currently have nothing but a vague suggestion that maybe this weekend will be OK. Until you have "meet you at 8 under the clock in Waterloo station", you have nothing.
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