bleedinjlove Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Hey guys, I'm really hurting over here so I'm hoping some of you out there can help me. Here's my story: About 2 months ago, my girlfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me. She's 20 and I'm 23. The relationship was incredible, we started when she was in high school, overlapped in college, and together a year while she was in college and I had a FT job. We were fully integrated and invested in our relationship over the years, having disagreements and issues like many couples do, but overall it was a great relationship. We had an awesome summer, spending most of our nights together. Then, 2 months ago, she tells me she has to talk. Looking back, it sounded like GIGs, but essentially she said, "I think we need to take the break we've always talked about. I only know my life and me in the context of you." We always talked about a time where we'd separate, being so young. But, we're not a smothering relationship, so I pressed further - it was very emotional. We were both in tears. She said, "I'm in love with you. I just know I have to do this." I asked if I would ever see her again, and she said "Of course. As long as you will see me, of course." I let her go, told her she was strong, I loved her and to take care of herself, not knowing the hell that would take place over the next couple months. I saw her two weeks later by complete chance. Again, she was an absolute wreck. We talked some more just about what happened, she said she felt like the relationship had become "content" and she felt like she needed to understand everything that's out there, since she has essentially no other context (I'm her first serious relationship). She said that she was going through hell, she missed me, she loved me, but she didn't have any answers. A couple weeks ago, I found out that she's "kind of seeing" someone she has a brief and weird history with through a friend, which sucked. Sounds like a classic rebound, but still difficult to stomach. Throughout the break-up, she's texted me roughly every 2.5 weeks, for whatever reason or another -- some logistical, some congratulatory (I got a new job). Essentially, I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm getting mixed messages, there's a rebound in the picture, and the breakup itself is brutal. I think this girl could be the end all be all for me, it's hard to disassociate that now with so many things up in the air. What do I do?
Fix Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 What can you do? From the sounds of it there is nothing you can do any way you twist it.
Author bleedinjlove Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 What can you do? From the sounds of it there is nothing you can do any way you twist it. I guess my question is more about my chances. How do I get her back?
dclan Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 I guess my question is more about my chances. How do I get her back? I think she was at least honest with you. She told you:" I want to experience the world", and so she did. Most dumpers just make up some f***** up excuse and leave. Your chances? hard to say. It depends on her really. Its not like she broke up with you for a specific reason, but rather for the general aspect of wanting to live a different life.
Fix Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 I guess my question is more about my chances. How do I get her back? You're in the same situation still. You can't do anything. She has told you she wants to go off and experience other things, meaning other people, and you have seemingly agreed to it. You just have to wait it out and hope that she doesn't like what she finds more than she does you. I would suggest not being her 'friend' during this time. Don't be there for her emotionally, and if you do talk in any way make t clear to her that you're not after her friendship but a relationship. I don't mean this in a cold or nasty way just be honest with her.
newsingleton Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Hey I have been through a very similar experience a few months ago after an 8 year relationship. It absolutely sucks, but as the others have said, at least she was honest. That is something I am only beginning to appreciate now. Rather than pro-actively trying to win her back and bring her into a situation that she has told you she doesn't want to be in, you should focus on yourself. Build your own self confidence, develop your hobbies and find out who you really are again. You might be amazed at what you discover and what you really want too. And definitely stay away from contact. This is purely for your own sake. Whilst it may temporarily make you feel better, it almost certainly makes things more difficult over the long term. You will get through this and get stronger, that's a guarantee
Author bleedinjlove Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 Your chances? hard to say. It depends on her really. Its not like she broke up with you for a specific reason, but rather for the general aspect of wanting to live a different life. Hard to hear, just because I loved our life and I guess she didn't feel the same way...?
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