sillysally Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 I've been dating this guy for 3 months. It was great in the beginning, we'd spend a lot of time together and do fun things. Lately things have changed. I don't see him during the week ususally, he's too busy working. And on the weekends, I spend time with him but we hardly have sex anymore. He still calls me everyday, but he hasn't told me he loves me in almost a month. Is this just a rut or is does this signify a problem? He says he's just very busy with work and has a lot going on.
HoldOn Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 Ouch. Three months. That IS the very beginning of a relationship. It is way too early to tell. (It almost too early to be having sex or saying I love you.) So either: 1.) He got a little freaked by how fast this relationship is moving. 2.) He is realizing he doesn't want to be in this relationship. Either way, the only thing to do is to give him time and space to figure it out. don't push him or try to have relationship talks. On the other hand, don't ALWAYS be available for him when he wants. don't give up any part of your life for him. Don't make any sacrifices that HE isn't ready to make. don't say ILY, if he is not saying it. Basically, he is is backing up, then you must also back up. Because he obviously needs time to figure it out.
Author sillysally Posted March 13, 2005 Author Posted March 13, 2005 I think I might break up with him, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
HoldOn Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 It does seem very early in the relationship for him to be slacking off. So that is a bad sign. But I think this relationship moved way too fast in the beginning, so that might have sabotaged it. Next time, try moving a little slower. If you break up with him and it doesn't seem like he cares, then it is definitely over. But he might freak out and try to win you back, in that case you could wait and see if he proves that he actually has feelings for you. And take it slow.
Author sillysally Posted March 13, 2005 Author Posted March 13, 2005 Yeah he moved pretty fast and I just kind of went with the flow and was feeling very flattered as well. Now the candle isn't burning so bright and I think we really messed things up in retrospect. Now I just feel neglected.
HoldOn Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 Have you ever read "The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right" ... http://www.therulesbook.com/ Basically, it really applies to your situation. Some would say that they are old fashioned... Anyway, part of them say that men are like hot flames in the beginning, and if we spend every second with them, their flames will quickly burn out. But if we maintain our own lives and keep a little mystery that the relationship builds a stronger foundation. I really recommend it!
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