WhereSpiritsRoam Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by YX32Nemesis Oh and Alpha, you sound just like the type of guy that I would go for! Too bad you are so far away and so much older than me Wow, could we have a match made in Heaven here? It could be Karma!
alphamale Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by YX32Nemesis Oh and Alpha, you sound just like the type of guy that I would go for! Too bad you are so far away and so much older than me well, XY32NEMESIS, Kentucky is not that far from Detroit, Louisville is like 350 miles and as long as you're over 18 and legal, who cares.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 I was raised that the guy should pay- however I did pay for things when my XH and I were dating. My BF has said before when he was involved in relationships that sometimes it seemed like the woman expected a fancy dinner and a 4 star rest. He said it was almost a unspoken deal that if he didn't spend the cash he wasn't getting any later. I don't understand that, but I'm not very material anyway. He's taken me to a 4 star rest before and sure it was nice but not expected. On the way home I said "I hope you know I'm going to expect sex tonight after this" I'm a divorced mom who is barely getting by. I pay when I can but most of the time he knows that if he wants to do something he has to pay. I can't help it.
joel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 lol $200 dollar dinner woow she better be a 10 or higher or shes out-b/c with an escort i can pick and chose if the gals hot or not and get it right away and what i want, while a date i might get or i might not. Originally posted by alphamale i have a good job at a fortune 150 company and make decent ca$h. I almost always pay (90% of time) when we go out even if i've been dating her for a year or two. i am traditional in this sense. i feel the man should pay most of the time. but the women repay in other ways. i have never loaned a woman money or paid her bills though. and i never would. it is very selfish actually cause i like to keep control and one way i do that is by paying. i get to make the decisions about where we go, what we do, when , why, etc.... women love it also and many of them have shown their "appreciation" sexually. nuthin' puts a woman in the mood for romance and sex like a $200 dinner at a 4 star restaurant. he he.
joel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 hey it depends how much i spend mz pixie and if ur hot or not and how hot. it comes down to getting ur moneys worth right. if i have to s[pend a lot of money on u , it better be good and u better be hot or your out, b/c i can get another girl maybe for a better deal-not spending that amount on her and still be gettin it or vibe to the escort route. if i spend a little amount of money on her under 40 bucks then i don't mind i'll pay anything over lets say 70 u better be good conversationist, interest are similiar, hotttt, good in sex for me i don't care abour ur needs-ah yeaaa i am paying of it ok and if u ain't good ur outttt. with women who don't expect me to spend much i give her some chance please her and she please me with what u said about the guy paying and later gettin it sound like ur a hooker. ahh how much. women that expect men to pay now one thing-nothing is for free. Originally posted by Mz. Pixie I was raised that the guy should pay- however I did pay for things when my XH and I were dating. My BF has said before when he was involved in relationships that sometimes it seemed like the woman expected a fancy dinner and a 4 star rest. He said it was almost a unspoken deal that if he didn't spend the cash he wasn't getting any later. I don't understand that, but I'm not very material anyway. He's taken me to a 4 star rest before and sure it was nice but not expected. On the way home I said "I hope you know I'm going to expect sex tonight after this" I'm a divorced mom who is barely getting by. I pay when I can but most of the time he knows that if he wants to do something he has to pay. I can't help it.
joel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 well in the chinse culture even if the man and woman marries the man still pays for the wedding woow hoo great hey. Originally posted by YX32Nemesis Yep, Alphamale is right on. This is absolutely true. I feel very uncomfortable when a guy that I'm not that interested in wants to pay for things. It makes me feel like I will owe him something, or that he has the wrong idea. If I am interested in a guy, then he will actually earn some major bonus points by offering to pay for everything. I am not a golddigger, or a freeloader by any means. However, I do know that if I got the impression that a man was a cheapskate and didn't want to pay for dates with a woman then I would probably lose interest in him. I cannot stand a cheap guy. My mom and dad always told me that traditionally a man is supposed to pay for dates because when the man and the woman marry, the woman's family is supposed to pay for all the wedding expenses. So, if men want dates to be dutch, then I suppose they should also pay 50/50 on the wedding! (which btw the groom's family is supposed to pay for the honeymoon but it is NEVER even close to as expensive as a wedding!) I personally lose respect for men who act like they don't want to pay anything on dates. It will make me lose interest so fast that it isn't even funny. I can give you a recent example of this. I was on a date with this guy that I thought I really liked and I offered to pay for my own meal. He wanted to let me but since we were at an Indian restaurant I think he just didn't want to look stupid to the Indian people there. (In India I think it is expected that the men should pay). Just the other day we went to Arbys and he acted like he was going to croak at buying me a kids meal. Trust me, he is kicked to the curb now. I think women want to feel like the man has resources and can pay for things (cavemanish or not this is how it is). If a man seems like he is a cheapskate or can't ever afford anything, then it almost makes him seem like less of a man. Maybe I am being traditional here too. I used to waitress and I remember thinking "what a loser" when I would see the guy making the girl pay for her own part. I usually tended to put the check closer to the man. I would always think the men who paid seemed like better catches. Just my two cents. Oh and Alpha, you sound just like the type of guy that I would go for! Too bad you are so far away and so much older than me
Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by joel lol $200 dollar dinner woow she better be a 10 or higher or shes out-b/c with an escort i can pick and chose if the gals hot or not and get it right away and what i want, while a date i might get or i might not. Good God... Joel, If you continue with the idea that you're going to get some a** because you paid for the McDonalds and sprung for the biggie fries I have a good idea that you're going to be frustrated for awhile. Dating someone and paying for dates doesn't equal Ass. Interesting that you say that a girl who would accept a guy paying for something is then a gold digger... but uh... if she pays for you Joel and you accept that, then what does that make you? I mean besides STILL not getting any? IF you ask someone on a date then pay for it or don't go.. regardless if you're male or female.. you asked, you pay. In a serious relationship.. give and take.
Author Hund1976 Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 I would always offer to pay on the first few dates but if I've been with someone a while it would be cool for them to offer stuff once in a while. I'm not expecting 50-50 maybe 70-30 would be good enough for me. I make slightly more money then my SO but she also has a ton of student loans and some other debt from credit cards and a personal loan plus two closets stuffed with clothes and lots of trips to get her nails done, massages and stuff like that. And I have lived my life a lot more financially prudent so I have a lot more money available then her. I don't mind paying stuff but what annoys me is she demands stuff sometimes and then gets mad if I'm not up for it. Like in the fall I was thinking about going to Germany to visit my family and she wanted me to pay for her to go with me. But since most of my family doesn't speak that good of English she was going to go visit some people she knew stationed in Europe while I was hanging out with my family. So when I wasn't up for that idea she got pretty mad and was like "you can afford to take me to Europe so you should!" I think she grew up pretty spoiled and her last boyfriend was old school (man works and pays, girl is home barefoot and pregnant) I grew up with divorced parents and all the women in my upbringing were really independant and didn't want or need to be taken care of by a man. Maybe that has something to do with it. I've tried outdoorsy free stuff, but she's not really into anything athletic.
alphamale Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by Hund1976 I've tried outdoorsy free stuff, but she's not really into anything athletic. Isn't it funny, HUND1976, how many women are not into those types of activities, like the ones that don't involve an outlay of ca$h?? My ex g/f was funny like that. When I would suggest we go to a cheap motel for steamy sex she was like "no way!". But when I suggested the Hyatt or Hilton for steamy sex she was there with bells on. And I also noticed when I would take her to moderately priced restaurants she would almost always complain about something or other. But when I took her to fancy restaurants she would never complain about anything. Funny how that works!
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 I think the green is more important than most people say. Money can't buy everything, but it can get a lot done.
joel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 hi i didn't say mcdonalds i said 5 star and big money spending -equals gettin it and better be damn good. spending little money and good time together i am ok with not gettin ii-more easy about the idea. hey its all about the swap, this time i pay next time u pay. i agree with hund the guy should pay for a while but not spend a lot since i don't now her why the heck should i spend a lot of money on her. after a while if i like her i willing to spend more money on her ,but i not going to always pay all the time. i ain't no sugar daddy ok. hund u gotta a gold digger there if the sex is good stay if not dump it, get ur money worth man read this posts -no guys don't have to pay for everything http://www.enotalone.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=44567&highlight=pays Originally posted by Merin Good God... Joel, If you continue with the idea that you're going to get some a** because you paid for the McDonalds and sprung for the biggie fries I have a good idea that you're going to be frustrated for awhile. Dating someone and paying for dates doesn't equal Ass. Interesting that you say that a girl who would accept a guy paying for something is then a gold digger... but uh... if she pays for you Joel and you accept that, then what does that make you? I mean besides STILL not getting any? IF you ask someone on a date then pay for it or don't go.. regardless if you're male or female.. you asked, you pay. In a serious relationship.. give and take.
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by joel hund u gotta a gold digger there if the sex is good stay Even good sex is not a good enough reason to stay with a gold-digger. I'd rather have full pockets and crappy sex then hands down my empty pants.
joel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 how long have u known this gal -hund if its over 5 mnths and still wants u to pay then freeloader. has she ever once even paid and how many times out of it has she paid
alphamale Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam I think the green is more important than most people say. Money can't buy everything, but it can get a lot done. Yes, you are correct ICEISLES. Money rule$.
Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by joel hi i didn't say mcdonalds i said 5 star and big money spending -equals gettin it and better be damn good. spending little money and good time together i am ok with not gettin ii-more easy about the idea. hey its all about the swap, this time i pay next time u pay. i agree with hund the guy should pay for a while but not spend a lot since i don't now her why the heck should i spend a lot of money on her. after a while if i like her i willing to spend more money on her ,but i not going to always pay all the time. i ain't no sugar daddy ok. hund u gotta a gold digger there if the sex is good stay if not dump it, get ur money worth man read this posts -no guys don't have to pay for everything http://www.enotalone.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=44567&highlight=pays Paying for Dinner EVEN if it's at a 5 star restaurant isn't going to gaurantee you some ass Joel. You're saying on one hand that if you're having a good time that it makes it just a little more acceptable for you that you don't get any... Then you're saying that if you're paying you pretty much think the girl had better be hot, and be willing to get it on with you because you paid for dinner... Well hey Joel lets turn this around a little okay? IF it's the case for YOU that the girl MUST be hot and MUST be willing to have sex with you if you're going to pay for a good date.. then couldn't it also be the case perhaps (in your way of thinking) that IF YOU were hot enough and interesting enough then the girl would be okay with not going to such an expensive place or paying for some of the bill? Hunds situation is different than yours Joel.. to begin with.. he has a GF.. someone who spends time with him so yeah he isn't going on what he's been told.. secondly I do think that her saying he should pay for her to go to Europe because he can is bullsh*t... there is nothing anyone SHOULD do.. you date people because YOU WANT TO, because YOU LIKE THEM.. not because you HAVE TO or SHOULD. IMO Joel you're to worried about paying to get some... For real what is the formula in your world? Does a biggie french frie a Kiss? A happy meal and were talking about what... a Kiss and coppin a feel? A dinner at applebees + a movie= a Kiss, a feel and maybe some oral? A five star dinner.. and pssshhh she better stand the hell by because now shes your sex slave for how long? Date people because you like them, because they're cool to you... You don't want a girl dating you with the idea YOU owe it to her to pay for the date right? SO don't date girls with the idea that they owe it to you to give you some ass mmmkkaaayyyy?
whichwayisup Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Date people because you like them, because they're cool to you... You don't want a girl dating you with the idea YOU owe it to her to pay for the date right? SO don't date girls with the idea that they owe it to you to give you some ass mmmkkaaayyyy Nicely put!
Mz. Pixie Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Joel- I'm sorry, did you just say I sounded like a hooker??? Perhaps you need to re read my post. I was saying that girls in my bf's post reacted that way. I'm saying that my man doesn't have to spend money on a fancy dinner to get me to make love to him.
joel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 another thread from anopther forum -check it out guys don't pay for everything. wait a little while and ur gf make request a bmw. heard about it before. can't u just get a new gf man http://www.therfs.com/index.php?showtopic=13069&hl=
Mz. Pixie Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Joel- how old are you?? How much experience do you have??
joel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 "Paying for Dinner EVEN if it's at a 5 star restaurant isn't going to gaurantee you some ass Joel." that why u don;t spend a lot of money on em if they like u they like. "Well hey Joel lets turn this around a little okay? IF it's the case for YOU that the girl MUST be hot and MUST be willing to have sex with you if you're going to pay for a good date.. then couldn't it also be the case perhaps (in your way of thinking) that IF YOU were hot enough and interesting enough then the girl would be okay with not going to such an expensive place or paying for some of the bill?" yes exactly if she like u , u shouldn't have to fork out that kind of money ,but as in hund sitiaution his gal is a gold digger. some women are just high mainteance and thats all. once in a while is what i could do for my gal but not all the time and at times she could pay for us too. well if hund don't watch out he goona be broke from miss goldigger isn't he. well if i fork out lots of money to me=it equal getting some -nothing is for free. you can spend good time with ur gf or date doing cheap to free things no just doing $$$ things. Originally posted by Merin Paying for Dinner EVEN if it's at a 5 star restaurant isn't going to gaurantee you some ass Joel. You're saying on one hand that if you're having a good time that it makes it just a little more acceptable for you that you don't get any... Then you're saying that if you're paying you pretty much think the girl had better be hot, and be willing to get it on with you because you paid for dinner... Well hey Joel lets turn this around a little okay? IF it's the case for YOU that the girl MUST be hot and MUST be willing to have sex with you if you're going to pay for a good date.. then couldn't it also be the case perhaps (in your way of thinking) that IF YOU were hot enough and interesting enough then the girl would be okay with not going to such an expensive place or paying for some of the bill? Hunds situation is different than yours Joel.. to begin with.. he has a GF.. someone who spends time with him so yeah he isn't going on what he's been told.. secondly I do think that her saying he should pay for her to go to Europe because he can is bullsh*t... there is nothing anyone SHOULD do.. you date people because YOU WANT TO, because YOU LIKE THEM.. not because you HAVE TO or SHOULD. IMO Joel you're to worried about paying to get some... For real what is the formula in your world? Does a biggie french frie a Kiss? A happy meal and were talking about what... a Kiss and coppin a feel? A dinner at applebees + a movie= a Kiss, a feel and maybe some oral? A five star dinner.. and pssshhh she better stand the hell by because now shes your sex slave for how long? Date people because you like them, because they're cool to you... You don't want a girl dating you with the idea YOU owe it to her to pay for the date right? SO don't date girls with the idea that they owe it to you to give you some ass mmmkkaaayyyy?
Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by joel "Paying for Dinner EVEN if it's at a 5 star restaurant isn't going to gaurantee you some ass Joel." that why u don;t spend a lot of money on em if they like u they like. "Well hey Joel lets turn this around a little okay? IF it's the case for YOU that the girl MUST be hot and MUST be willing to have sex with you if you're going to pay for a good date.. then couldn't it also be the case perhaps (in your way of thinking) that IF YOU were hot enough and interesting enough then the girl would be okay with not going to such an expensive place or paying for some of the bill?" yes exactly if she like u , u shouldn't have to fork out that kind of money ,but as in hund sitiaution his gal is a gold digger. some women are just high mainteance and thats all. once in a while is what i could do for my gal but not all the time and at times she could pay for us too. well if hund don't watch out he goona be broke from miss goldigger isn't he. well if i fork out lots of money to me=it equal getting some -nothing is for free. you can spend good time with ur gf or date doing cheap to free things no just doing $$$ things. Joel, Do you read what people write at all? Hund is in a relationship Joel.. something YOU don't have a lot experience with. Nobody here is saying that Hund SHOULD pay for everything and I haven't heard him say that there are other issues in the relationship there Joel.. he HASN'T said that he thinks a meal means this that the other.. he asked what is acceptable when in a relationship for whom pays... NOBODY said either that you can't have a good time on a date without spending Money Joel... and if spending money in your mind equals that your going to get ass then for real Joel you've got a lot to learn.
joel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 lets put it this way hund a wuss for lettin himself pay for everything then. i personally would have talked to her about the issue after some time. but hund has money so who cares. well the ppl here i think who are women sure have said that the men should pay .
Author Hund1976 Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 how long have u known this gal -hund if its over 5 mnths and still wants u to pay then freeloader. has she ever once even paid and how many times out of it has she paid We've been together for around a year. The way it seems to work is I usually pay for more expensive stuff, like dinner and then sometimes she'll pay if we stop at Subway for lunch or something like that. On the occasions where she's paid for something expensive she's made a big deal about it. Like a while ago she was going to cook me dinner then at the last minute she wanted to go out to dinner to meet her friends since one of them was celebrating that they just got promoted or something like that. So anyway we go to this Brazilian restaurant and she paid. So later she was making a point of how she paid for that and that it was an expensive place. To me I thought "big deal, you invited me you paid, so what I've paid for a lot more things then that and never make a big thing about it"
Author Hund1976 Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 By the way I've had other girlfriends in the past where money wasn't really ever a big issue. One girl I was dating a while ago was going to fly down to visit me and I offered to help pay her plane ticket and she refused and paid herself. And we had lots of fun (if you know what I mean) when she was here so I know she was interested in me. I guess some girls just expect a guy to take care of them.
Merin Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by joel lets put it this way hund a wuss for lettin himself pay for everything then. i personally would have talked to her about the issue after some time. but hund has money so who cares. well the ppl here i think who are women sure have said that the men should pay . Omg.. You Joel Personally don't have a GF.. so when you don't have one, probably shouldn't be talking outtcha ass about what YOU would do since YOU'RE NOT dating anyone. AND obviously NO you don't read what other people write because the women here who have replied have NOT said YES a guy should pay no matter what... AND also there have been some male responses that have said it isn't an issue for them.
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