TheNextLawyer Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Austin Powers wit to the rescue.. Anyway. I have just wasted the best part of an hour fishing around on POF and OKC. Really some of these ladies would be more than game for me to buy them a drink in real life, but online nope.. 5'9. not rolling in money, and showing a bit of an ability to spell, they all seem to get a profile view back but not much more. OK, I exaggerate, and I do have a potential girl from POF who isnt too far away. She seems kind but has baggage which means some sort of trouble and also she needs time before meeting new guys.. Very scared to get close it seems after a disaster ex. It is rather frustrating though that OKC which seemed worth paying for the quickmatch section to work, well once they read a bit more about me there is no more word of contact. I can't believe they are too swamped with messages either, as the pool there is smaller. But then the few with mega bucks and a sharp suit will be getting all the first offers. Ho hum
Chemist Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Dude, I absolutely feel you. I am chubby, but everything else is good. I am a PhD with an ability to socialize no problem in person. Most girls send me a few messages but I am not looking to have a pen pal to msg daily so within 4-5 messages, I asked them to meet up for a coffee or something. Sometimes they say no, sometimes they don't answer, but after a few messages back and forth they tend to lose interest. I don't know if it's because I actually write about theirs and mine interest, but if I had to guess I am too boring and they aren't really looking for someone like this. I honestly think a lot of girls on OKC are just damaged goods, looking for rebound. I have met four girls from OKC in about a year. All of them are in someway socially awkward. The two most normal are my friends now, but none of them are actually datable to me. I really have a distaste for online dating these days. However, from what I have read, we should probably make our profiles to be some what more ambiguous, act like we don't care too much. Send a short first couple of messages. I mean no Hey! messages, but something a bit longer. Though the girls that have messaged me have all been like that, and one was just 'want to meet for coffee?'. She was crazy. Then in your message you can add stuff about you. I think most girls just don't like to read huge messages and if you fill your profile about you, they have nothing to ask about. Anyway, I am done with OLD. It is a waste of time and I get the sense most girls are looking for an ego boost or hook up.
insert_name Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Actually i think you guys who never make it to the date are the lucky ones. Imagine being stuck in a vicious cycle where on paper you are considered a good fit, then you meet up and spend your time and money to go and have the same conversation as the one you had last week with a different girl and then have them turn aroubd at the end of it and say that you are not what they are looking for because they obviously expected brad pitt. Its not the messaging that has got me jaded, its the time, effort and money that goes into the first dates that inevitably go nowhere because she is holding out for a magical unicorn that she can ride off into the sunset on.
PegNosePete Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 But then the few with mega bucks and a sharp suit will be getting all the first offers. No, the ones with the good profiles and photos will be getting all the first offers. Believe me in 99.44% of cases, when the guy is complaining that he can't get dates or even any responses form OLD, it is his profile and photos that are the problem. You do not have to be super attractive or super rich to get replies, you just have to have a profile that presents you in a good light, shows off your best features, and is attractive to women. Most guys think their profile is great but the reality is that most of them are pretty terrible. I'd recommend you go to the forum section of your chosen OLD site, and make a post there, requesting a profile review (this forum prohibits posting of personally identifying information so we can't really pimp your profile here).
Toodaloo Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Sorry its not working out all that well for you. I think you do need to review your profile and probably your pictures. I was being nosey the other day, going through some OLD profiles and one chap had put up a really weird main pic. Sorry but no. Later when they have gone into your profile perhaps but straight off? No. It put me off reading about him and I was reading the profiles of men that were not as good looking... See if you can get it reviewed by someone... Good luck!
oberkeat Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 I think OLD is a lousy short-cut to getting a relationship. You're more likely to find non-flaky, well-balanced people who are better matches for you when you meet them in real life, doing the things and going to events that you like to do. The whole thing is a waste of time, but that's just my view.
PegNosePete Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 See if you can get it reviewed by someone... Preferably someone who is experienced and successful with online dating. Not your best mate, your ex, your sister or mother, and not one of the many jaded people who will tell you that online dating is a waste of time! 1
Author TheNextLawyer Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 Sorry its not working out all that well for you. I think you do need to review your profile and probably your pictures. I was being nosey the other day, going through some OLD profiles and one chap had put up a really weird main pic. Sorry but no. Later when they have gone into your profile perhaps but straight off? No. It put me off reading about him and I was reading the profiles of men that were not as good looking... See if you can get it reviewed by someone... Good luck! Hmm. well appreciate the first sentiment, but in the other frustration thread you seem to be all about not criticizing people I hardly know. I think that's rather odd advice and all people are judgmental and prejudiced on some level. What may be a weird picture to you may appeal to some alternative type who likes the open book person... but admittedly they would be in the minority. Anyway I still want to secure a good job before putting in efforts into date after date (and I couldn't afford too many of them in any case until then),
Author TheNextLawyer Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 Might as well say now that OKC is no worse than some other free sites where I have scored a number of first dates. I did get a brief friendship out of OKC and want to try and get someone with a bit more in common this time round. Prospects aren't totally bleak although I seem to only get introverts responding. I am a pretty extrovert guy but feel fellow extroverts are best for me. However they have the lion's share of male attention as they often glam up for the photo gallery and are harder to break the ice with online it seems. Still, a Singles Meetup tomorrow should distract me from the cyber BS that is so common online.
normal person Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Post it up here and I'll critique it if you'd like. I'd consider myself a pretty damn good online dater. I don't seem to have the problems the rest of the guys here are typically complaining about (and I'm only 5'10"). I'm sure plenty of women would have some input too.
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